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Told dad only has 3 months max

User
Posted 08 Dec 2019 at 21:27

My dad was diagnosed in april this year with psa 1000 and spread to bones. He had underlying heart condition

He responded initially to Lupron and zytigA but came off zytigA due to leg swelling. He now has a catheter in and psa has risen dramatically to 240.

he wouldn’t be strong enough for chemo. Anyway he had radiotherapy for pain in his back in April . He has severe pain at present in his leg and they gave him more radiotherapy on Friday for pain. Because of pain he has lost lots of mobility and they said bones in his pelvis are very fragile . They want to release him and said he has 3 months possibly less to love . He is due his injection this week or hormone - should I get the prescription and get them to inject him or would he have a better qol without it . 
im really scared about what’s going to come I am only caregiver and am frightened I won’t be able to do it

they turned off his defib on Friday so if he arrests it won’t bring him back 

 

User
Posted 08 Dec 2019 at 21:27

My dad was diagnosed in april this year with psa 1000 and spread to bones. He had underlying heart condition

He responded initially to Lupron and zytigA but came off zytigA due to leg swelling. He now has a catheter in and psa has risen dramatically to 240.

he wouldn’t be strong enough for chemo. Anyway he had radiotherapy for pain in his back in April . He has severe pain at present in his leg and they gave him more radiotherapy on Friday for pain. Because of pain he has lost lots of mobility and they said bones in his pelvis are very fragile . They want to release him and said he has 3 months possibly less to love . He is due his injection this week or hormone - should I get the prescription and get them to inject him or would he have a better qol without it . 
im really scared about what’s going to come I am only caregiver and am frightened I won’t be able to do it

they turned off his defib on Friday so if he arrests it won’t bring him back 

 

User
Posted 08 Dec 2019 at 23:49

Hi,  Sorry to read about your father.  I notice you're in Ireland and believe he's still in hospital. 

There are things only you can tell.  If you didn't give him the injection would you regret it and blame yourself or would you think you did it for the best in 12 months time. 

If it was me I think I'd wait till he was well bed bound before I stopped any medication.  Although I don't know if not having hormones will make his pain worse or just bring it forward.

Would the hospital allow him to not have medication without his consent.  Would they allow him home if he deteriorates more. Quite a few points. Perhaps someone else will advise.

User
Posted 11 Dec 2019 at 21:00

Hi , I don’t drop in very oftenany more on the forum but felt your dads diagnosis is very similar to my husbands he sadly passed in 2017 .

my message to you is it’s not over until the fat lady sings and yes your dad may have just a short time but let me back track on my husbands diagnosis . He was diagnosed in 2012 with a psa of 13000 , severe spread to bone/ whole torso/lymph nodes and 3 previous heart attacks . He was given 6/12 months . He actually survived , actually not just survived but lived for 5 years . Chemo was never an option for us either . 

So my advice is make the most of every moment because if you don’t you could be wasting an awful lot of moments .

BFN 

Julie xxx

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 16 Dec 2019 at 16:33

I agree with Julie below, God bless you both, this is so hard.  Keep giving him options however and talk to him about what he wants.  The hormone injection has minimal side effects and perhaps may help keep the cancer from progressing at least for a time.  Please keep us posted, praying for you to be strong.  The caregiver role is a lot to take on.  You are a good child!

Saint Paul

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User
Posted 08 Dec 2019 at 23:49

Hi,  Sorry to read about your father.  I notice you're in Ireland and believe he's still in hospital. 

There are things only you can tell.  If you didn't give him the injection would you regret it and blame yourself or would you think you did it for the best in 12 months time. 

If it was me I think I'd wait till he was well bed bound before I stopped any medication.  Although I don't know if not having hormones will make his pain worse or just bring it forward.

Would the hospital allow him to not have medication without his consent.  Would they allow him home if he deteriorates more. Quite a few points. Perhaps someone else will advise.

User
Posted 09 Dec 2019 at 00:38
A very sad situation. It looks like the decision might be down to you and perhaps you could discuss relevant aspects with the Doctor and your Dad and then make your decision, although I think I would follow what Dad wishes.
Barry
User
Posted 09 Dec 2019 at 18:23
What does your dad want? That's the most important consideration.

Best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 11 Dec 2019 at 21:00

Hi , I don’t drop in very oftenany more on the forum but felt your dads diagnosis is very similar to my husbands he sadly passed in 2017 .

my message to you is it’s not over until the fat lady sings and yes your dad may have just a short time but let me back track on my husbands diagnosis . He was diagnosed in 2012 with a psa of 13000 , severe spread to bone/ whole torso/lymph nodes and 3 previous heart attacks . He was given 6/12 months . He actually survived , actually not just survived but lived for 5 years . Chemo was never an option for us either . 

So my advice is make the most of every moment because if you don’t you could be wasting an awful lot of moments .

BFN 

Julie xxx

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 16 Dec 2019 at 16:33

I agree with Julie below, God bless you both, this is so hard.  Keep giving him options however and talk to him about what he wants.  The hormone injection has minimal side effects and perhaps may help keep the cancer from progressing at least for a time.  Please keep us posted, praying for you to be strong.  The caregiver role is a lot to take on.  You are a good child!

Saint Paul

User
Posted 19 Dec 2019 at 01:14

It has been a very long time since I have been on this forum....

I agree with julie .it's so hard to decide what path you should go down....and every man is different  .My husband shouldn't  of had chemo he only agreed to have it as our daughter just wanted more time with her Dad...it still haunts her

to this day ..and he passed away 5yrs now ...

Possibly let him decide  what route he wants...

Whatever you decide best wishes to you both..

Carol 

 
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