Hello,
This is my first post having decided to join the forum and openly discuss my feelings. In September at the age of 56 I was diagnosed with prostate cancer with a G score of 4+3 - 7. Cancer was on both sides of prostate and extensive on one side and as such I had a bone scan to ensure it had not spread, which thankfully it had not! The treatment I was recommended and chose was a prostatectomy, and on 2nd December (just 2 weeks ago) I had the operation. The operation lasted 5 hours and my experience of post up recovery was not particularly good to be honest. The immediate after effects coming round from my anesthetized state (which included having an epidural) were the worst I'd ever felt. Shaking viloently, felt iced cold, thirsty and with a terrible headache and very nauseous. I was in recovery for about 90 minutes before being taken to a full ward, by which time I was getting excruciating pains in my shoulders (caused by trapped gas). My wife was waiting and as it was now evening (8.30pm) there was only just one nurse and an auxiliary present, doing their best to look after 12 guys. I complained about the shoulder pain and it took about 20 minutes before I was given pain relief because the nurse was busy dealing with the other patients. There was only one other chap around my age - all the others were in their seventies, eighties and possibly older. My wife was asked to leave at 9.30pm and I was left alone, unable to move from the waist down, was given water that I struggled to drink because of the shaking, had only a salad to eat and left amongst mayhem! One elderly gent had dementia and was constantly shouting and screaming throughout the night, another in a bed next to me kept shuffling around his bed and getting up regularly to pee in a bottle type thing placed.on a table next to my bed - my privacy curtain was not pulled, so I had this guy in full view. The morning was not much better, I'll spare everyone the details, but my impression was the hospital was understaffed and morale not particularly high, little empathy for patients and I was so pleased to be discharged later that day at 7pm early evening!
The next hurdle was coping with a catheter fitted, which within 2 days became blocked with blood and had to return to hospital to get cleared. Anyway, I found sleeping really difficult, was a welcomed relief to have the awful thing removed 9 days later. My battle now is leakage and I am constantly needing to urinate, which maybe due to a urinary infection being checked out tomorrow.
I am very grateful to the surgeon and medical team, but the NHS is struggling and even trying to get a GP appointment is difficult - the care system is struggling in my area. The support from the Macmillan nurses has been very good and Prostate Cancer UK very informative.
But I am really struggling with my emotions, despite trying to think positively, I am feeling very low and anxious. This journey over the past few months leading up to my operation and working full time has been a struggle. It's impacted on my life in so many ways, and the ED is but another phase I will have to cope with in the coming months / years.
I've read plenty of positive postings and it does help to read such posts, but equally it makes me feel slightly ashamed that I am not one of those at present that can post anything uplifting. Hopefully as time passes I will able to post something to inspire others.
Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my post, just being able to put down in words how I truly feel has in itself helped.a little.