I am 60 and had a robot prostatectomy in November last year having been diagnosed in October. Thankfully for me, all the tests since have been positive, but the mental issues can be overwhelming - you are not alone.
Like you, I had some terrible post op complications with haematomas and infections and had to be readmitted under a blue light for 5 days. Looking back on last Christmas, I now realise how ill I was, but one year on, I have no catheter (hooray), good(ish) bladder control and feel physically OK. Every month I got a little better and after 12 months, I am physically in a much better place - all that despite needing more surgery in April to remove a grumbling gall bladder - piece of cake after the prostate op!
Everyone will, be telling you to be patient and that you have had major surgery - they are right! It really does take at least 6 weeks to feel anything like normal - at least it did for me. Just do all the sensible stuff - eat well, take exercise, don't stress out and do the pelvic floor exercises !
The regular PSA checks are a mental hurdle to contend with as the answer is only ever going to be a yes or no, but even if you do have a setback, there are loads of ways you can still get better and have a good long life. Fingers crossed for you that they nabbed it all during surgery - I was Gleason 2a grade 7 and the prognosis is good for me now.
I am still suffering with ED, despite many treatments. Viagra made me really ill and Caverject injections (ouch) are the latest thing, to no avail. My wife is very understanding, (my mates less so, but I think they mean well) and it does really get to me, although I keep it well hidden. Most people do find a way forward eventually, so again, I am afraid it the old patience routine and try everything they offer you. I hope you have some joy soon and you really do need to "practice" - imagine getting that kind of advice from a doctor when we were 15!
Be ready fo the dark days/nights - they happen to most of us, but with the support of family, friends and the people on here, you will get through this. You are to being weak if this does happen to you - we need to drop the macho stuff and recognise how touch a cancer diagnosis really is.
I still feel very anxious about what I have gone through and what may still lie ahead - it feels like a type of PTSD to me, although I have never really talked to a professional about this. I like to keep my deeper feelings to myself, which is probably not helpful, but everyone finds their own way and it is reassuring to read on here how others have experienced the same thing.
So - keep your chin up Rick - 2020 will be a good year for you. There is no sugar coating on this forum, but it helps us all to share I think. Best of luck to you my friend and if you feel I can help, then happy to reply.