Jim,
Don't dismiss the possibility of improving both those situations.
Go to your GP and ask for a referral to an ED clinic, and also to a Pelvic Health Physiotherapist.
The ED clinic will go through your options for sex. They might initially try you on PDE5 inhibitors just to see if there's any chance they'll work (Sildenafil/Viagra, Tadalafil/Cialis), but it may be that there aren't enough working nerves after your treatments for these. In that case, they'll try you on vasodilator drugs (Caverject, Invicorp, MUSE, Vitaros), and a pump with construction rings. The pump can also be used to try some penile rehabilitation.
If none of these work for you, you can be referred for an penile implant to generate erections, and most people who have those are very satisfied with them. Given a long period without erections which will have damaged the corpus cavernosum, it might be that this is the only option, as it replaces the corpus cavernosum.
For incontinence, a Pelvic Health Physiotherapist will do a detailed investigation of where the issue is, and refer you on for appropriate treatment (unless it can be fixed with just simple exercises). There are a number of surgical procedures, all probably better than they were 8 years ago, so make the most of the opportunity.
You were treated to extend your life, and that includes having a reasonable quality of life if possible, and you are entitled to have these investigations and any treatments they throw up. Don't feel guilty or a fake - you aren't.