Pain on ejaculation after radiotherapy

RT damages the prostate and eventually leads to dry orgasms (little or no ejaculatory fluid). If this is only just beginning to show itself, you may be experiencing retrograde ejaculation (what fluid is there is going into the bladder rather than coming out of your penis) - this can be painful but will usually improve as you stop producing ejaculatory fluid completely.

HT can cause loss of libido and make orgasm difficult.

Stalwart, can I ask .. you say you're on hormone treatment, and having regular sex did you lose your sex drive?...

I have posted previously on other threads that we expected that my partner would have to go on HT  and we both knew that loss of libido was more than likely going to happen. The first week of treatment it seemed there was no real difference but the last 2 weeks there has been a definite loss of sex drive and interest which has taken us both by surprise. 

Thanks for your reply Stalwart. I should say it's not the loss of libido that's taken us by surprise because we had done quite a lot of reading etc so expected that its the speed of it that has shocked us. 

Its also quite early I suppose in the HT journey and getting our heads around the news that his cancer is advanced so hardly surprising as I have said elsewhere on the forum that I think he is feeling some depression hence the disturbed sleep. 

I did suggest to my partner last week after what felt like a really clinical afternoon trip to the bedroom,  that we just accept that it is what it is and he has no choice he has to have the HT so we just accept that our sex life is over and focus on all the other good things about our relationship, we are and always have been very affectionate and tactile with each other and I was feeling like if I initiated sex that I was pressurising him and that was something I didn't want to do, as Lynn said in her brilliant post a woman knows when her man is just going through the motions which is what prompted me to again broach the subject this morning we do just accept things. 

I guess I'm wondering for his sake as well as mine if there is any light at the end of the tunnel,  because whilst we both agreed that it may be for the best we are both devastated as I'm sure many other couples on here faced with this scenario are at the prospect that we have lost such an important part of our relationship. 

Im sure your right about the shock. My partner is usually quite positive and determined. I think for me its just one of those tough days today 🙂

Sorry Chris J..having read your posts I know where you are in your journey. 
My day went from being quietly stoic this morning to feeling upset and selfish this afternoon. Tomorrow is another day 🙂

Absolutely Lyn, thats what I told him the other day. It is early days on our HT journey which is going to take some getting used to and I have no doubts there will be  a lot more bumps in the road, but I think all things considered he is actually quite amazing. 🙂

Have you been on HT constantly all this time then Jimmyz? or had any breaks etc?  We have no idea whether my partner will have to stay on it constantly until it stops working then transfers to something else or if he will get a break if PSA drops. The oncologist at The Christie was very brusque with us when he told us there were 20 lymph nodes involved, more or less just said... this is what it is, this is what we are doing come back in 6 months. No explanations really or discussions on whether chemo could help...  nothing he wasn't even offered support of an advanced cancer nurse.

The more I thought about it the angrier I got and after visiting our local support group we spoke to the Mcmillan nurse who encouraged us to think about transferring to the oncologist closer to home. I also have an oncologist who I see for monitoring every two years which is why I was dismayed at the way my partners spoke to us and the lack of discussion. 

My partner is definitely depressed and whilst I don't tend to get depressed I have certainly felt very sad at times particularly at the start of the week, but we are very close and talk things through and things have certainly gotten a little easier as the week as gone on helped by the lovely sunshine which has meant he has been able to get out and do some things in the garden and bits of DIY which have all helped to lift his mood a little so we will see. His first PSA test is due 31st March.    

I was on HT for 3 years, finished 2 years ago. The Marsden was great but it so busy so not much of a personal touch. I don’t have much interaction with my oncologist now and I think unless you push you don’t get much. 

Its important to try to stay positive, and sex can help but can be awkward if there are difficulties. It’s important to concentrate on the intimacy more than the sex. 
But there does seem to be a lot of help out there regarding ED that I wasn’t aware of.