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User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 19:27

I used to post on this forum and was known by many, receiving advice, answers and sage counsel. Now, all my former comrades have fallen. Few, very few are left, except I - and nobody listens any more because they simply don’t know me. For me, this forum and all its other inherent problems have perhaps convinced me that it is now time to bid you all farewell. There is no support here when you get zero responses to a post.

So, to all those catastrophising as I once did over minor decimal increases in your PSA, stop and live your lives. It may get worse, it may not, but nothing will generally happen in a hurry. To those whose life revolves around the latest model of a pump, forget it. You’ll learn in time that life and love are far more important than sex. And to those in my position, good luck! 

Im off now. Tuttybye as Ken Dodd once said. 

Bazza (Barry)

User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 20:07

Bazza be friendly !!! This forum is very very transient as you know. I too recognise that from when I started many people are now dead. If you check my thread it’s probably one of the biggest and most read on the whole site , yet when I post now I’m lucky to get maybe 6 replies. That’s why I didn’t post today on my Onco appt by phone , with a psa of 440 which makes yours look piffling. It’s not about numbers is it , and we all did the pump size thing and recovery. It’s just about helping each other I guess , and us ‘ old-timers ‘ get lost in the paperwork. We are all by your side , and remember the weekend brings few posts. I couldn’t reply to your last post as I have no knowledge other than I’m on an industrial strength ibuprofen called Celecoxib which could maybe help. I don’t want you to go and understand your fear ,but selfishly when you go then there is a lot of us close behind you. You are loved mate by very many. You inspired me and others. It’s just that people come and go. Please don’t go ok x

User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 21:14

As a relatively new gal on the block sharing my feelings and those of my  loved man. Bazza, I have read your posts, laughed, cried enjoyed, reflected and admired your writings. Please, remember you were once a new boy, fresh eager and scared. This forum has changed, moved and developed over the years. I share my posts to my darling man, as he can’t cope with the coal face. This forum in whatever guise has developed into a sometimes different place. It has been a lifeline to me and others. So many wonderful people, lads in pain, lads who support lads ,who know more than I’ll ever know... women who love their men, share their knowledge, and experience. I’ve cried on here, laughed on here and one day I may share my ultimate sadness, but not today. Bazza, you’ve helped, us  written eloquently, supported and made us laugh, cry and think.... please, please don’t leave us... share what you can... if you can.

With Thanks 

Leila. 

User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 23:33
Oh behave, Bazza - how discourteous to those of us who have replied to all your other recent posts! You may have written your other post about pain meds at 9.30 this morning but it wasn't published until after 8pm tonight - you know that we are not medical experts and it is all in the luck of the draw ... maybe no one who knows anything about pain control in the end stages happened to log on between 8pm and 11pm.

I hope that you have just had a few glasses of red wine tonight and they have interacted with the pain killers but I have been worried by a couple of your other recent posts that you may be going into (or already in the midst of) a mental health crisis; you have seemed a little erratic. Talk to your lovely wife, talk to your doctor about your emotional state, talk to the palliative care team about adjusting your pain meds and don't lay a load of guilt and blame on those of us who have tried to be your friend (in my case, for 10 years) simply because we are not able to solve your problem.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 22 May 2020 at 01:42

Hi Bazza, 

So many people have expressed my thoughts about you not posting in a far better way than I ever could, that it's difficult to know what to write. 

All I can say is that we care about you and want to support you in every way we can. 

Steve 

 

 

User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 19:27

I used to post on this forum and was known by many, receiving advice, answers and sage counsel. Now, all my former comrades have fallen. Few, very few are left, except I - and nobody listens any more because they simply don’t know me. For me, this forum and all its other inherent problems have perhaps convinced me that it is now time to bid you all farewell. There is no support here when you get zero responses to a post.

So, to all those catastrophising as I once did over minor decimal increases in your PSA, stop and live your lives. It may get worse, it may not, but nothing will generally happen in a hurry. To those whose life revolves around the latest model of a pump, forget it. You’ll learn in time that life and love are far more important than sex. And to those in my position, good luck! 

Im off now. Tuttybye as Ken Dodd once said. 

Bazza (Barry)

User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 23:01

Hi bazza, I'm rather new to this, two years since diagnosis, G9. I have no idea what my future holds. You are an old timer, I have great respect for you. I don't know what this forum was like in the good old days, but it is still informative and entertaining now. 

Very few of us could reply to your last post, you asked for people with real experience. How could we reply! the only people with real experience of that level of pain, sadly are probably no longer with us. People like me who have not really known pain, would have to reply "take an aspirin, and if it doesn't feel better in the morning take another". So better we say nothing. 

I've read your posts and I have read through some of your historic posts. I have also read through the posts of other sadly passed members. There is a wealth of knowledge on this forum, and people like you inspire us newbies.

So Bazza, I'm sure you have done many wonderful things in your life, my only knowledge of you is through this forum and your wonderful posts. When I read your signature I am spartucus, I quietly say to my self no I am spartacus. Perhaps one day I will be. 

Dave

User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 07:53

Hi Bazza,

I think a lot of members follow you and read your posts but a lot of us don't know the answers all the time.I read the site every day and if possible give support with things within my short experience as being a Brachytherapy bod of only 44 months i find it difficult to give advice on medical problems i don't fully understand but still have feelings for you all.

I find it difficult to communicate some times and feel a bit of a fraud as i don't seem to have had any real problems since my operation in September 2016 apart from ED that we all seem to get post operation.

I do hope you don't leave us Bazza but wish you well .

Regards John. 

 

 

 

 

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 12:47

Bazza

I am fairly new to this site, and I can only speak for myself but you are an inspiration and your posts have been more than helpful, on times more helpful and insightful than the medical professionals that I have dealt with. 

Your a legend mate...... pure and simple.

Keep the faith.

Carl.

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 13:59

Hello Bazza,

Firstly, you did not come across as arrogant at all.  You clearly felt isolated  and your vulnerability was heart rending. I haven’t posted on here for a very long time but I felt the need to send you a message. 

You have helped me like so many other grateful people on here. Thank you.I want  to offer advice from bmy husband on pain relief. I have added info on my profile so that you can see the stage that we are at. It may not work for you; it doesn’t always work for him but anything that may help is worth a try. You may have considered and tried all of them but I’m going to suggest some - just in case. Obviously, your oncology ‘team’ is your first and most important port of call. As you know, the correct medication and dosage is crucial. 

Anyway, in no particular order, my husband suggestions:

• Heat pack for lymph node pain 

• Hot bath 

• Regular re positioning. He moves from sitting in a normal armchair on to a recliner chair and moves this at different angles. He lies in bed with two pillows or propped up with three pillows m. He also sits up in bed using an armchair type pillow (bought online). We also bought a figure of eight type of cushion to help with pressure sores that developed at the base of his spine. He says this cushion is the best thing I have ever bought him! (I must be really terrible at buying presents!) 

• Knee brace and other supports 

Maybe none of these will help but

t nevertheless we send you all the best wishes in the world Spartacus - from your rebellious slaves xx 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by member 17 May 2020 at 14:05  | Reason: Typos! My phone is shocking. Sorry.

Broken crayons still colour 

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 17:44

I won’t faff. It did come across as arrogant but you’ve realised that.
There are still quite a few of us on here who’ve ‘travelled’ the road with you, hopefully you’ve now realised that and decided to stay. Keep posting Barry we’ve got your back

Bri 

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 23:00

No one should feel like they have to put on a false front - it could have a significant impact on mental health & wellbeing. I think it is perfectly natural for a man who was hoping for a cure to worry if his numbers are rising - and where better than here to find reassurance?

Bazza is saying now not to sweat over tiny rises but as he says, it didn't seem irrelevant to him at the time any more than it did to John or any of the others here who have had a recurrence or just live with the fear of recurrence. I don't think he is suggesting that worrying is a sign of weakness, only that worrying won't change the outcome so don't let the fear / worry spoil the life you have now. 

Edited by member 17 May 2020 at 23:03  | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 18 May 2020 at 07:33

Lynn

I was talking about how this reflected a situation at home where my fretting over my pending test at the time of my mums death put me in a real low and my family are sick of me worrying about it. Lockdown has made the situation far worse as it made me quite a bit ocd. On top of that the worst tree pollen hay fever season I’ve ever had which was like random multiple flu days for over a month now. I was very very low.

It’s walk it off with fake smiles time from now on to the rest of the world for me.

Edited by member 18 May 2020 at 07:40  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 18 May 2020 at 09:19

Hi Pete, I'm glad you weren't feeling you had to fake it on this forum. Yes for our friends and family, we may have to put on a brave face at times, but on this forum a brave face is never required or desirable. None of your friends and family know what you are going through; everyone on  this forum does know what you are going through. So let off steam here, shout and scream if you want. The collective members will never get tired of you, sure one or two of us, or maybe one hundred of us might say I can't face Pete's whinging today, but the forum seems to have an infinite number of members and at least one will pop his/her head out and say "sorry you're having a bad day Pete, tell me about it".

Dave

p.s. "Peter's whinging today" I'm not saying you whinge any more than any of us, but my post wouldn't read so well if I tried to be politically correct and used the indefinite third person pronoun. Sorry about this long postscript, I have a bit of autism so I like to be a bit too precise, and now I've clarified one phrase I need to clarify two more: "None of your friends and family know what you are going through" should also say ", unless they have had cancer". "everyone on  this forum does know what you are going through" should also say ", unless they have joined the forum by accident". OK now you know why I enjoy reading the small print when I book a holiday, and why I list accounting and bookkeeping as a hobby, rather than a chore.

p.p.s now I'm worrying that I'm hijacking bazza's thread, but I guess pete's post was about when to post or not and bazza's thread started because none of us posted to his other pain relief thread, so it's came full circle. I'm OK with that. 

 

Dave

User
Posted 18 May 2020 at 12:20

Bazza, I will add my ‘ don’t go’s ‘ to the list. I am ‘only’ 2 1/2 years down the line and it’s been a hard journey , but not as hard as many. I found this forum is like a group of close friends , you can say anything, no one is shocked. Sometimes we say stuff we can’t say to relatives or friends - we don’t want them to know how we feel .
You are part of the group that makes this forum like that. You are brave to share your raw feelings with us and it gives us all strength.
Good luck whichever way you decide.

Phil

User
Posted 21 May 2020 at 21:54
,Bazza

Sorry I missed your post , I only pop in about once a week , I am like you in that tunnel with the other end blocked up , about a year behind you ,

Please keep posting

Barry

Feb 2011 4+5 LA

User
Posted 22 May 2020 at 10:00
It may have damaged you and your family beyond repair but it did make you brave enough to follow your heart and spend your final years with someone who loves you and who you love.

C x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 04 Jun 2020 at 14:04

‘That's how you beat cancer, not by overcoming the disease because it mostly often wins - but in making sure the rest of your life has value for you and your loved ones.‘

These words from your profile are the ones I hang on to, Bazza. Thank you for writing them.You are such a presence on the forum.  Love to you and your family.

Shelagh xx

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 20:07

Bazza be friendly !!! This forum is very very transient as you know. I too recognise that from when I started many people are now dead. If you check my thread it’s probably one of the biggest and most read on the whole site , yet when I post now I’m lucky to get maybe 6 replies. That’s why I didn’t post today on my Onco appt by phone , with a psa of 440 which makes yours look piffling. It’s not about numbers is it , and we all did the pump size thing and recovery. It’s just about helping each other I guess , and us ‘ old-timers ‘ get lost in the paperwork. We are all by your side , and remember the weekend brings few posts. I couldn’t reply to your last post as I have no knowledge other than I’m on an industrial strength ibuprofen called Celecoxib which could maybe help. I don’t want you to go and understand your fear ,but selfishly when you go then there is a lot of us close behind you. You are loved mate by very many. You inspired me and others. It’s just that people come and go. Please don’t go ok x

User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 20:09

I for one will miss you Bazza because my oh is in his 10th year of the disease, currently trying to get over an emergency nephrostomy and uretal stent insertion. This has hit him far harder than all the prior treatments for his cancer. Chemotherapy stopped due to Covid 19 so don't know how the cancer is doing.

Even if you don't want to post any more, do feel free to email me now and then. Life as a wife with a pc partner can be lonely sometimes. We don't talk about it much with friends - they wouldn't really understand the fatigue, the lack of interest in sex or the use of catheters which are part of our daily lives now but the love is still strong, his will to live is still there and despite lockdowns and restrictions we will live every day in the best way we can until no more can be done. Keep fighting. 

User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 20:14
And I get what you mean about people fretting about 0.04 to 0.06 etc , but it can be just as serious if not annoying to many. I’ve learnt to ignore it as at the end of the day we are all in the S**t and often incurable as you know. I’m not 5 yrs yet so I reckon your 10 is quite impressive Spartacus. Keep in touch
User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 21:14

As a relatively new gal on the block sharing my feelings and those of my  loved man. Bazza, I have read your posts, laughed, cried enjoyed, reflected and admired your writings. Please, remember you were once a new boy, fresh eager and scared. This forum has changed, moved and developed over the years. I share my posts to my darling man, as he can’t cope with the coal face. This forum in whatever guise has developed into a sometimes different place. It has been a lifeline to me and others. So many wonderful people, lads in pain, lads who support lads ,who know more than I’ll ever know... women who love their men, share their knowledge, and experience. I’ve cried on here, laughed on here and one day I may share my ultimate sadness, but not today. Bazza, you’ve helped, us  written eloquently, supported and made us laugh, cry and think.... please, please don’t leave us... share what you can... if you can.

With Thanks 

Leila. 

User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 23:01

Hi bazza, I'm rather new to this, two years since diagnosis, G9. I have no idea what my future holds. You are an old timer, I have great respect for you. I don't know what this forum was like in the good old days, but it is still informative and entertaining now. 

Very few of us could reply to your last post, you asked for people with real experience. How could we reply! the only people with real experience of that level of pain, sadly are probably no longer with us. People like me who have not really known pain, would have to reply "take an aspirin, and if it doesn't feel better in the morning take another". So better we say nothing. 

I've read your posts and I have read through some of your historic posts. I have also read through the posts of other sadly passed members. There is a wealth of knowledge on this forum, and people like you inspire us newbies.

So Bazza, I'm sure you have done many wonderful things in your life, my only knowledge of you is through this forum and your wonderful posts. When I read your signature I am spartucus, I quietly say to my self no I am spartacus. Perhaps one day I will be. 

Dave

User
Posted 15 May 2020 at 23:33
Oh behave, Bazza - how discourteous to those of us who have replied to all your other recent posts! You may have written your other post about pain meds at 9.30 this morning but it wasn't published until after 8pm tonight - you know that we are not medical experts and it is all in the luck of the draw ... maybe no one who knows anything about pain control in the end stages happened to log on between 8pm and 11pm.

I hope that you have just had a few glasses of red wine tonight and they have interacted with the pain killers but I have been worried by a couple of your other recent posts that you may be going into (or already in the midst of) a mental health crisis; you have seemed a little erratic. Talk to your lovely wife, talk to your doctor about your emotional state, talk to the palliative care team about adjusting your pain meds and don't lay a load of guilt and blame on those of us who have tried to be your friend (in my case, for 10 years) simply because we are not able to solve your problem.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 00:45
Bazza don't stop posting, you're my favourite poster, some of your musings have been inspirational and helped many of us on here.

You may be many things but I never took you for a drama queen.

User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 03:01
Bazza,

I am sorry I don't have the knowledge to help in your advanced situation with which I truly sympathise. I am sure this applies to the majority off members. However, having looked at your last 10 posts, it seems to me that they are all about you and not offering any support to others, some of whom are well down the rocky road if not as far as you.

Barry
User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 06:36

Hi Bazza 

I am new to all this too, I came to the forum initially to read posts and gain knowledge about my husbands diagnosis last year. It felt a big step to actually join the forum. 

Since I have, there has been lots answers to questions I have asked. But we are in the early ish stages (I hope) and you and the majority on here have been through the stages we are at and are able and happy to advise. When I have done searches for specifics, your name has often come up (along with others who have been on the forum a long time too) so although I have not ever responded to a post of yours (I don't have the knowledge or advice, I dont know enough) you have unknowingly given me some, for which I thank you.

This will apply to lots on the forum. 

I hope you find the answers you need from somewhere and you might change your mind about leaving us. 

Edited by member 16 May 2020 at 06:48  | Reason: Wording

Mrs MAS

User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 07:53

Hi Bazza,

I think a lot of members follow you and read your posts but a lot of us don't know the answers all the time.I read the site every day and if possible give support with things within my short experience as being a Brachytherapy bod of only 44 months i find it difficult to give advice on medical problems i don't fully understand but still have feelings for you all.

I find it difficult to communicate some times and feel a bit of a fraud as i don't seem to have had any real problems since my operation in September 2016 apart from ED that we all seem to get post operation.

I do hope you don't leave us Bazza but wish you well .

Regards John. 

 

 

 

 

User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 08:50

I am sorry you feel like this but as others have said there won't be hardly any members now who have knowledge of offering meaningful advice regarding your pain situation at this stage.

We can give you sympathy, empathy etc but that of course won't help your pain and we wouldn't want to patronise you. It would seem in my humble opinion that you need to seek out better advice from your medical team somehow. Can you contact the nurses on here? Is your lovely wife involved in talking to your doctors about it?  How is she feeling? Must be terrible for her too.

Posts  in general  seem to have dropped a bit recently  probably because of the coronavirus as people are maybe more worried about the immediate threat from that not only for themselves but their loved ones.

I hope you can find a way to get your pain and feelings in a better place I really do.

Best wishes

Ann

 

User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 19:05

Hi Bazza,

I also read your post and others since I joined over 3 years ago but don't comment as I feel there are others on here that can be of help.  My husband had surgery 3 years ago and his PSA was undetectable till December which is now reads 0.1, he is back to 3 monthly PSA checks but has had to fight to get it tested at the surgery as it was deemed not urgent, after a bit of a fight he managed to get one last Wednesday just waiting for results. 

I hope that you get your pain under control soon.

 

Best wishes 

Lynda

User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 20:19

I PM people privately with help, get asked often and always respond if I can make a difference, it’s what people don’t see.

User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 21:36

Bazza, the often lengthy delay between creating a new thread and having it approved is exactly the reason why I suggested a while ago that you do what almost every other “regular” does and have a single thread that you post updates to. That way you don’t have to wait for anything to be approved by the site admins. You’re creating a rod for your own back by starting a new thread every time you post!

Best wishes,

Chris

 

Edited by member 16 May 2020 at 21:37  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 16 May 2020 at 23:58

Hi bazza, 

I've only been on the forum six months , so I was not familiar with your earlier posts (though the one or two I have seen since I joined were very good). I have now worked out how to use the search facility to see all of a user's posts. I have read a good few of your historic posts, starting from your very first, they are excellent. They are so well written, with philosophy and humour. I suspect your career as a journalist helps. 

Posts on a forum seem ephemeral, but I am glad this forum has preserved your musings over the last decade for us to read. Some people on this forum do a great job with the numbers and the science, and I appreciate them, but your posts are about love and fear. By writing so eloquently about your own emotions it gives me a framework to help me understand mine.

I'm sorry we can't help much with pain medication, but your work on here is appreciated. 

Dave

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 06:22

Thank you all. For once I didn’t phrase myself well and came across as arrogant, which I am not. I won’t put it down to drugs but these play a part as does fear and of course extreme pain. Very often, emails are misconstrued as the writer’s intention is completely opposite to how they want their words to come across. 

Thanks Bazza 

Edited by member 17 May 2020 at 07:51  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 12:47

Bazza

I am fairly new to this site, and I can only speak for myself but you are an inspiration and your posts have been more than helpful, on times more helpful and insightful than the medical professionals that I have dealt with. 

Your a legend mate...... pure and simple.

Keep the faith.

Carl.

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 13:59

Hello Bazza,

Firstly, you did not come across as arrogant at all.  You clearly felt isolated  and your vulnerability was heart rending. I haven’t posted on here for a very long time but I felt the need to send you a message. 

You have helped me like so many other grateful people on here. Thank you.I want  to offer advice from bmy husband on pain relief. I have added info on my profile so that you can see the stage that we are at. It may not work for you; it doesn’t always work for him but anything that may help is worth a try. You may have considered and tried all of them but I’m going to suggest some - just in case. Obviously, your oncology ‘team’ is your first and most important port of call. As you know, the correct medication and dosage is crucial. 

Anyway, in no particular order, my husband suggestions:

• Heat pack for lymph node pain 

• Hot bath 

• Regular re positioning. He moves from sitting in a normal armchair on to a recliner chair and moves this at different angles. He lies in bed with two pillows or propped up with three pillows m. He also sits up in bed using an armchair type pillow (bought online). We also bought a figure of eight type of cushion to help with pressure sores that developed at the base of his spine. He says this cushion is the best thing I have ever bought him! (I must be really terrible at buying presents!) 

• Knee brace and other supports 

Maybe none of these will help but

t nevertheless we send you all the best wishes in the world Spartacus - from your rebellious slaves xx 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by member 17 May 2020 at 14:05  | Reason: Typos! My phone is shocking. Sorry.

Broken crayons still colour 

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 17:44

I won’t faff. It did come across as arrogant but you’ve realised that.
There are still quite a few of us on here who’ve ‘travelled’ the road with you, hopefully you’ve now realised that and decided to stay. Keep posting Barry we’ve got your back

Bri 

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 22:13

The comments about fretting about low numbers confirms something I’ve felt for a while based on personal experience - it is seen as weakness so it is best to just shut up and deal with it yourself, putting on a false front if needed.

Edited by member 17 May 2020 at 22:13  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 17 May 2020 at 23:00

No one should feel like they have to put on a false front - it could have a significant impact on mental health & wellbeing. I think it is perfectly natural for a man who was hoping for a cure to worry if his numbers are rising - and where better than here to find reassurance?

Bazza is saying now not to sweat over tiny rises but as he says, it didn't seem irrelevant to him at the time any more than it did to John or any of the others here who have had a recurrence or just live with the fear of recurrence. I don't think he is suggesting that worrying is a sign of weakness, only that worrying won't change the outcome so don't let the fear / worry spoil the life you have now. 

Edited by member 17 May 2020 at 23:03  | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 18 May 2020 at 07:33

Lynn

I was talking about how this reflected a situation at home where my fretting over my pending test at the time of my mums death put me in a real low and my family are sick of me worrying about it. Lockdown has made the situation far worse as it made me quite a bit ocd. On top of that the worst tree pollen hay fever season I’ve ever had which was like random multiple flu days for over a month now. I was very very low.

It’s walk it off with fake smiles time from now on to the rest of the world for me.

Edited by member 18 May 2020 at 07:40  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 18 May 2020 at 09:19

Hi Pete, I'm glad you weren't feeling you had to fake it on this forum. Yes for our friends and family, we may have to put on a brave face at times, but on this forum a brave face is never required or desirable. None of your friends and family know what you are going through; everyone on  this forum does know what you are going through. So let off steam here, shout and scream if you want. The collective members will never get tired of you, sure one or two of us, or maybe one hundred of us might say I can't face Pete's whinging today, but the forum seems to have an infinite number of members and at least one will pop his/her head out and say "sorry you're having a bad day Pete, tell me about it".

Dave

p.s. "Peter's whinging today" I'm not saying you whinge any more than any of us, but my post wouldn't read so well if I tried to be politically correct and used the indefinite third person pronoun. Sorry about this long postscript, I have a bit of autism so I like to be a bit too precise, and now I've clarified one phrase I need to clarify two more: "None of your friends and family know what you are going through" should also say ", unless they have had cancer". "everyone on  this forum does know what you are going through" should also say ", unless they have joined the forum by accident". OK now you know why I enjoy reading the small print when I book a holiday, and why I list accounting and bookkeeping as a hobby, rather than a chore.

p.p.s now I'm worrying that I'm hijacking bazza's thread, but I guess pete's post was about when to post or not and bazza's thread started because none of us posted to his other pain relief thread, so it's came full circle. I'm OK with that. 

 

Dave

User
Posted 18 May 2020 at 12:20

Bazza, I will add my ‘ don’t go’s ‘ to the list. I am ‘only’ 2 1/2 years down the line and it’s been a hard journey , but not as hard as many. I found this forum is like a group of close friends , you can say anything, no one is shocked. Sometimes we say stuff we can’t say to relatives or friends - we don’t want them to know how we feel .
You are part of the group that makes this forum like that. You are brave to share your raw feelings with us and it gives us all strength.
Good luck whichever way you decide.

Phil

User
Posted 18 May 2020 at 13:00

Bazza,

We are a band of brothers and sisters in the club nobody wants to join.Feel free to share your frustrations with a close community who all have bad hair days  on occasion over what the fickle finger of fate has dished out.

Best wishes with whatever you decide.

Norm

User
Posted 18 May 2020 at 15:43

This is my first post. Age 69 I was diagnosed with Advanced PC in Feb 2020 . I started HT immediately and start my first Chemo tomorrow. 

Please don't go. If you do then those like me won't know if our feelings are shared with others. The other BIG thing is seeing people still around and getting on with life.

Thank you

User
Posted 19 May 2020 at 09:52

Good luck for your chemo and for the rest of your treatment..

Carl.

User
Posted 19 May 2020 at 11:40

Hi Barry,

i have responded to your other thread and sincerely hope you have your pain under more control now.  I would reiterate what others on the forum have said, as my husband and I have recently started out on this frightening journey, we find your posts very helpful. It is reassuring to feel we have the support of all those going through, or who have been through, similar experiences.  Being able to express our feelings is a great release, as we don’t tell our family and friends exactly how we feel.

I feel as though I know everyone personally on the forum, I suppose it’s because we all have something in common in our lives that we wish we didn’t have.

With very best wishes to you and your wife.

Ange x

User
Posted 21 May 2020 at 21:54
,Bazza

Sorry I missed your post , I only pop in about once a week , I am like you in that tunnel with the other end blocked up , about a year behind you ,

Please keep posting

Barry

Feb 2011 4+5 LA

User
Posted 22 May 2020 at 00:04

Bazza, the wealth of experience you have with this horrible disease is invaluable  to us relative newbies who have not long started on this lonely road. I hope you get some relief from the pain you are suffering and that you continue to support and inform others with your insightful and entertaining posts. Take care Baz xx

Debbie xxx
User
Posted 22 May 2020 at 01:23

Hi Bazza

i haven’t been on the site for ages but with Hubble overdue a PSA I logged in tonight to see how all were coping with lockdown and was sorry to read your post as I have followed your eloquent postings since joining.

i am sorry to have no answers except to try anything advised here and even the inexplicable like reiki .. 

Please keep posting

Clare

 

 

 

User
Posted 22 May 2020 at 01:42

Hi Bazza, 

So many people have expressed my thoughts about you not posting in a far better way than I ever could, that it's difficult to know what to write. 

All I can say is that we care about you and want to support you in every way we can. 

Steve 

 

 

User
Posted 22 May 2020 at 04:31

Thank you Steve. This cruel disease is about 40% physical and 60% mental. It is equally destructive in that respect and attacks the mentally vulnerable. Some say that cancer is character forming. I’d say it is character altering to the point that if the disease doesn’t get you first, it will have done its damage already. Either way, it steals your soul and sucks the essence of human good from you. 

User
Posted 22 May 2020 at 10:00
It may have damaged you and your family beyond repair but it did make you brave enough to follow your heart and spend your final years with someone who loves you and who you love.

C x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 22 May 2020 at 14:47

Yes those little b****rd cells will rot away, but you will be remembered by us with fondness, and by your family with love. None of us have physical immortality, but we do go on in the memory of others once we shuffle of this mortal coil. You may have changed your signature, but we will all remember you as Spartacus; with the strength of iron and a will of steel.

Edited by member 22 May 2020 at 22:41  | Reason: Not specified

Dave

User
Posted 22 May 2020 at 14:56

I echo that thought. I wish you every happiness in your life and hope that you have many more enjoyable moments. We are probably walking alongside you in this journey tho in a different country. Today we are enjoying a wild windy day from the safety of our own home. Life holds many tiny pleasures however rough it gets. ☺

User
Posted 04 Jun 2020 at 14:04

‘That's how you beat cancer, not by overcoming the disease because it mostly often wins - but in making sure the rest of your life has value for you and your loved ones.‘

These words from your profile are the ones I hang on to, Bazza. Thank you for writing them.You are such a presence on the forum.  Love to you and your family.

Shelagh xx

User
Posted 05 Jun 2020 at 10:44

It is a very depressing time Bazza, with this horrible Virus - never ever give up though, is my strong advice to one & all.

I just keep myself busy, looking after My Sheila, Radio Caroline, Terry Nation's Survivors location visit filming, dabbling with old Laptops + my fish, - to relax - an old film or Classic TV prog on DVD is my answer.

 
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