Thank you, LynEyre. Here is my post, with my wife's full approval!
We are both retired and live on our own. We have known each other for a very long time and have had very active sex life (only with each other!) both before and after my robotic RP nine years ago. We have managed to keep our sex life active because of our love for each other and keeping our relationship full of fun, humour and arguments. Ours is a long story but I will answer your question directly by describing a typical intimate scenario:
Sometimes during the day my wife might say 'let's have sex" (surprisingly she is generally the one to initiate day-time sex and therefore it's very exciting for me of course). Covid-19 has been responsible for an uptick in the amount of daytime sex in our house! We would go up to bed and, for some reason this reminds me of our student days in the sixties, and just basically please each other by being gentle and loving by touch and voice, and of course cuddling and kissing.
Part of the foreplay involves my using quite a powerful vibrator which has several attachments and is the only one approved by Dr Ruth, the well-known sex therapist in the States. No, not the Hitachi Wand type, which is ridiculously powerful and designed for elephants, I think. This gets us both excited, but on my part I have no erection and therefore there is no urgency. It is quite amazing how long this foreplay can last since I am in no rush. When she is very excited she'll say, 'why don't you go and pump yourself up before you make me go'. So I disappear into our bathroom (while waiting for me she may read because she is an author and a great reader). After nine years with the pump, I have turned the process of achieving an erection into a fine art and am able to do so in less than ten minutes. Because my wife is waiting in bed, the process of using the pump is quite erotic and exciting. When I 'apologise' for keeping her waiting she says, 'You're worth it!'
Recently we have found a lubricant or vaginal moisturiser called "YES" (which she applies from a pre-filled single-use applicator while waiting for me to achieve an erection using the pump); Google 'YES lubricant' to find the website. There is a whole range for 'him' and 'her'. We have tried various ones but settled, for now, with this. We have found KY Jelly rather messy and it is too slippery and does not allow for an easy orgasm because of lack of sufficient friction. At our age the advantage for us, when my wife uses the YES moisturiser is that I do not have to use any myself. The texture and feel of this lubricant is quite different from KY Jelly; for both my wife and me, the feel is very natural and therefore very pleasurable. For a woman to use this lubricant there is a further advantage, to quote from the YES website:
"....the vaginal lubricant is a pH balanced moisturising water based lubricant for women with mild to moderate vaginal dryness for use during intercourse. The water is released quickly to help lubricate dry vaginal tissue to make sex more comfortable." We thoroughly recommend YES. (no, we don't get a commission!).
With the experience I have gained over nine years now, I can achieve an erection as strong as when we first met, in our twenties; this is a great bonus for me and for her too. There are lots of issues when using a pump which I will not go into (perhaps leave those for another post, if there is popular demand!) The main problem, when using a pump is that because of the position of the ring the penis is very floppy at the base and you have to be careful not to hurt yourself or even damage the penis when in the erect state. This could be serious. If you use the missionary position you have to very careful! For this reason, we use different positions, 'spoon sex' position is our favourite. Since a woman's orgasm mostly requires stimulation of her clitoris, we use a combination of both manual stimulation by me and my wife uses the vibrator after penetration (this is one of the benefits of using the spoon-sex position. The result is magical sustained orgasms for both of us...tantric sex but with orgasms!
What's not to like about the pump: no implants, no injections and no need to take Viagra which often does not work and very often causes headaches...for the man!
Finally, when you buy a pump the instructions and videos are useful but they do not cover the nitty-gritty; it is like learning to ride a bike without getting on it! I can say a great deal more about types of pumps, rings (this is a very vital issue and requires trial and error to select the most appropriate ones), the actual mechanics of achieving and sustaining erections without hurting yourself and other aspects which instruction manuals do not cover.
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
I have spent a few months experimenting with the pump and it is getting better. Yes my penis does get red/purple and sometimes the pumping is on the edge of hurting, but then I just go a bit slower.
A few factors that seem to help:
* Building up slowly - giving the blood time to flow into the penis before pumping a bit more.
* Using the Vacurect pump which has very good cock rings that help retain the erection once it is there
* Choosing a time of day when I am relaxed - it is really much harder when I am tired or distracted
* Combining erotic feelings and thoughts with the pumping really helps - which is hard because the pump feels so mechanical. It has taken a long time to find a way to integrate this with either self-love or mutual loving with my wife
* Remembering that this is like any other form of stretching or exercise - it takes time and dedication to show results
Feeling for you as this is all so weird. A part of our bodies that was supremely natural in its sexual response now takes so much conscious effort to coax into life. It's a bit like hard work, isn't it?
Worth it in the long run.
User
I think the use of a pump for achieving an erection is underrated. It is quite difficult to get used to. It takes time, patience, perseverance and above all a loving and understanding wife/partner who enjoys sex. I have been using a pump (in fact two) for the past nine years since my RP; in many ways our sex life has become more exciting. I would like to use my experience to help others if there was an easy way of doing it.
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
Hi
I am composing a reply that I think would be useful to you and other readers and will post it here. I am a little inhibited in describing a typical scenario which the moderator may find unacceptable, it is not 'porny' or anything like that by any means but I would like to get some sort of clearance from him/her. I can always post to you via private email.
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
Good points, Lyn.
After my surgery I knew that my GP would not cooperate so I asked my urologist to write to the GP and in his letter, he wrote and I quote ......." for rehabilitation following this major surgery and this patient's long term mental and physical health it is vital that he is prescribed a suitable pump......". He also suggested a pump which is on the NHS prescription list. I was also able to obtain replacement rings on a prescription when needed. Also a sales guy came to the house to discuss and explain how to use the pump. That was 9 years ago so I would like to think that GPs nowadays are better informed and should not refuse to prescribe.
So I suggest to those who are having problem with their GPs please ask your urologists.
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
I had problems getting a prescription pump at first so tried the cheapies from Love Honey and then Amazon. I first got one with a squeezy pump but the actual pump was slow and soon split. Then I got one with the scissor or trigger/pistol type pump which has lasted ages. It also has a longer more flexible pipe. Now I have got a prescription Somarect as well. To sum up my opinion on the positives and negatives of each.
Somarect Positives:
Top quality pump unit
Excellent choice of rings
Slightly easier to apply the ring
Comes with inner sleeve if required
Good safety pressure relief valve
Instructions
Somarect Negatives:
Heavy (can't use it standing without holding it)
Not waterproof
Expensive or prescription only
Cheapy Positives:
Price and variety available
Waterproof so can use in bath or shower
All parts can be bought seperately as extras or variety
Lighter so can wear while standing if you get a good seal
Cheapy Negatives:
Some of the actual pump units are weak (The pistol type is fine).
Slightly more difficult to apply a ring, although just takes practice
Be careful that if the pressure relief fails that you are ready to just pull the pipe off
If I could only have one regardless of cost it would be the cheapy.
Cheapy:
I have found that if you pump up to full engorgement then remove the comfort seal I can wear a soft ring and then get the tube over the ring forming the seal and then pump with the ring already on.
Or if you are shaved or at least trimmed short, put the ring on the tube without the comfort seal and slip it off and onto penis before releasing the pressure
It all takes practice and a bit of trial and error.
Good luck
Cheers
Bill
User
Hope your new pump is working well. I agree with Mityana39 - it takes a lot of patience. One of the biggest things we all need to adjust to is that erections are not as quick or automatic as they used to be. It can be tempting to give up because you can't do it the way you used to. But actually it's worth being patient and adapting!
Show Most Thanked Posts
User
You should change the injection site regularly. You can inject most of the length either side , not just at the base.
You shouldn’t use the pump at the same time as injections as it can cause an internal bleed. Otherwise using the pump is fine. Doesn’t matter what colour your penis is as long as it isn’t causing pain !
User
Just agreeing with Chris and it can be varying shades of red, blue, purple. Soon goes back to normal after stopping.
Cheers
Bill
User
First time in 3 weeks i used the Viridal Dua 10 micrograms. Last time i used it my penis was slightly bent about an inch from the end , but this time it was more bent and looks a bit weird. In spite of this we still had sex and as usual my orgasm was luverly.
Am i doing something wrong? should i ask my doctor or the ED nurse if this is normal?
cheers
User
May sound weird to you but I think next time you do this you should photograph it and show to your doctor or specialist. They won’t be shocked and it’s for your own good ultimately. It may be Peyronie’s disease or something
User
Injection scaring can cause Peyronie’s disease. You really should get this looked at - it can get worse by itself, and painful.
Sometimes a pump with some additional tubes can be used to correct it, but it depends what's causing it.
User
I spoke with my ED nurse and described what was happening and she said possibly peronies disease but not to get too upset about it.
She said not to use the injection for a while and said use the pump but do it standing up not laid down as i have been doing. She said gravity for blood flow helps when stood up.
To be honest i never used the pump much anyway but will do it now more often and hopefully get an erection as she explained how to use it for exercise.
User
I have spent a few months experimenting with the pump and it is getting better. Yes my penis does get red/purple and sometimes the pumping is on the edge of hurting, but then I just go a bit slower.
A few factors that seem to help:
* Building up slowly - giving the blood time to flow into the penis before pumping a bit more.
* Using the Vacurect pump which has very good cock rings that help retain the erection once it is there
* Choosing a time of day when I am relaxed - it is really much harder when I am tired or distracted
* Combining erotic feelings and thoughts with the pumping really helps - which is hard because the pump feels so mechanical. It has taken a long time to find a way to integrate this with either self-love or mutual loving with my wife
* Remembering that this is like any other form of stretching or exercise - it takes time and dedication to show results
Feeling for you as this is all so weird. A part of our bodies that was supremely natural in its sexual response now takes so much conscious effort to coax into life. It's a bit like hard work, isn't it?
Worth it in the long run.
User
I think the use of a pump for achieving an erection is underrated. It is quite difficult to get used to. It takes time, patience, perseverance and above all a loving and understanding wife/partner who enjoys sex. I have been using a pump (in fact two) for the past nine years since my RP; in many ways our sex life has become more exciting. I would like to use my experience to help others if there was an easy way of doing it.
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
Mityana39 really appreciate your experience and would love to hear more. How did you and your partner integrate the pump into your sex life?
User
Hi
I am composing a reply that I think would be useful to you and other readers and will post it here. I am a little inhibited in describing a typical scenario which the moderator may find unacceptable, it is not 'porny' or anything like that by any means but I would like to get some sort of clearance from him/her. I can always post to you via private email.
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
Mityana, if it is factual it will be fine - many of us have posted very detailed information regarding sexual activity, pump use, etc without any problems from the moderators. Swear words might be a bit of an issue, but not the information that will help other members to regain or maintain some intimacy in their lives.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
Thank you, LynEyre. Here is my post, with my wife's full approval!
We are both retired and live on our own. We have known each other for a very long time and have had very active sex life (only with each other!) both before and after my robotic RP nine years ago. We have managed to keep our sex life active because of our love for each other and keeping our relationship full of fun, humour and arguments. Ours is a long story but I will answer your question directly by describing a typical intimate scenario:
Sometimes during the day my wife might say 'let's have sex" (surprisingly she is generally the one to initiate day-time sex and therefore it's very exciting for me of course). Covid-19 has been responsible for an uptick in the amount of daytime sex in our house! We would go up to bed and, for some reason this reminds me of our student days in the sixties, and just basically please each other by being gentle and loving by touch and voice, and of course cuddling and kissing.
Part of the foreplay involves my using quite a powerful vibrator which has several attachments and is the only one approved by Dr Ruth, the well-known sex therapist in the States. No, not the Hitachi Wand type, which is ridiculously powerful and designed for elephants, I think. This gets us both excited, but on my part I have no erection and therefore there is no urgency. It is quite amazing how long this foreplay can last since I am in no rush. When she is very excited she'll say, 'why don't you go and pump yourself up before you make me go'. So I disappear into our bathroom (while waiting for me she may read because she is an author and a great reader). After nine years with the pump, I have turned the process of achieving an erection into a fine art and am able to do so in less than ten minutes. Because my wife is waiting in bed, the process of using the pump is quite erotic and exciting. When I 'apologise' for keeping her waiting she says, 'You're worth it!'
Recently we have found a lubricant or vaginal moisturiser called "YES" (which she applies from a pre-filled single-use applicator while waiting for me to achieve an erection using the pump); Google 'YES lubricant' to find the website. There is a whole range for 'him' and 'her'. We have tried various ones but settled, for now, with this. We have found KY Jelly rather messy and it is too slippery and does not allow for an easy orgasm because of lack of sufficient friction. At our age the advantage for us, when my wife uses the YES moisturiser is that I do not have to use any myself. The texture and feel of this lubricant is quite different from KY Jelly; for both my wife and me, the feel is very natural and therefore very pleasurable. For a woman to use this lubricant there is a further advantage, to quote from the YES website:
"....the vaginal lubricant is a pH balanced moisturising water based lubricant for women with mild to moderate vaginal dryness for use during intercourse. The water is released quickly to help lubricate dry vaginal tissue to make sex more comfortable." We thoroughly recommend YES. (no, we don't get a commission!).
With the experience I have gained over nine years now, I can achieve an erection as strong as when we first met, in our twenties; this is a great bonus for me and for her too. There are lots of issues when using a pump which I will not go into (perhaps leave those for another post, if there is popular demand!) The main problem, when using a pump is that because of the position of the ring the penis is very floppy at the base and you have to be careful not to hurt yourself or even damage the penis when in the erect state. This could be serious. If you use the missionary position you have to very careful! For this reason, we use different positions, 'spoon sex' position is our favourite. Since a woman's orgasm mostly requires stimulation of her clitoris, we use a combination of both manual stimulation by me and my wife uses the vibrator after penetration (this is one of the benefits of using the spoon-sex position. The result is magical sustained orgasms for both of us...tantric sex but with orgasms!
What's not to like about the pump: no implants, no injections and no need to take Viagra which often does not work and very often causes headaches...for the man!
Finally, when you buy a pump the instructions and videos are useful but they do not cover the nitty-gritty; it is like learning to ride a bike without getting on it! I can say a great deal more about types of pumps, rings (this is a very vital issue and requires trial and error to select the most appropriate ones), the actual mechanics of achieving and sustaining erections without hurting yourself and other aspects which instruction manuals do not cover.
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
A lot more fun than learning to ride a bike, I think!
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
Thanks so much Mityana39 for sharing your story! You and your wife are an inspiration! Both in terms of fully integrating the pump into your sex life, and showing so much flexibility in what it is to be loving and sexual together - and also in terms of blazing a trail for active sex lives into our 80s. I believe the single biggest gift in your story is the love and laughter that enables all the other creativity
User
Do you think a pump would work for me 3 years since I had my prostate out
Viagra not worked and injections only worked for a short time but not since
User
Boggy
Give it a try ,my use of the pump was restricted for the first three years due to a stricture. I doubt I will ever achieve recovery but my flaccid penis is very healthy.
Never give up and get back on the injections and or try a different medication if possible.
Thanks Chris
User
Hi
One of the main problems with RP is that the penis suffers a great deal of trauma, particularly some reduction in length and therefore requires a great deal of rehabilitation. Ideally one should started using a pump and massage the penis and testicles gently a few week after surgery. I am not a medical man but I don't see why you can't gently massage your penis and testicles and also get a pump. Good pumps are quite expensive but you can get a cheap one and start using it very very gently. You will soon find out if you are able to inflate it a little but. Do this three times a day, making sure that don't go mad and pump it up too much.
In my experience once my cathater was I out I started using a pump after three weeks and very gradually managed to achieve an erection and after about three months I managed to put the ring on and able to have sex. That was 9 years ago and I use a pump on a regular basis.
May I encourage you; you have nothing to lose if you take it gently and slowly
Edited by member 23 Sep 2020 at 16:12
| Reason: Not specified
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
To be honest a pump can’t fail to provide you with the best engorgement you are capable of after all this time. But don’t be disheartened. Try buying a cheap one from Lovehoney or Ann Summers and see if it seems to work for you. Practice every day and you may see results. If you think you are getting a decent erection then you need to buy something ( or plead with your GP ) like the Somaerect Response2 from Imedicare.com. But you’re looking at approx £200. This comes with specialist mega tight rings that will allow penetrative sex with some practice. I really hope you have some luck as it’s a soul- destroying part of this disease :-(
User
Lots of talk here about buying pumps but it is worth noting that under NICE guidelines you are entitled to a proper vacuum pump on prescription and assuming you have applied for your exemption certificate (or are of the relevant age), all prescriptions are free. It may be that your NHS trust has decided to go against NICE guidance but I think your starting point is to ask your GP for a referral to the local NHS ED nurse or andrology clinic (if there is one)
Edited by member 14 Sep 2020 at 20:16
| Reason: Fat fingers
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
Good points, Lyn.
After my surgery I knew that my GP would not cooperate so I asked my urologist to write to the GP and in his letter, he wrote and I quote ......." for rehabilitation following this major surgery and this patient's long term mental and physical health it is vital that he is prescribed a suitable pump......". He also suggested a pump which is on the NHS prescription list. I was also able to obtain replacement rings on a prescription when needed. Also a sales guy came to the house to discuss and explain how to use the pump. That was 9 years ago so I would like to think that GPs nowadays are better informed and should not refuse to prescribe.
So I suggest to those who are having problem with their GPs please ask your urologists.
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
There are NHS trusts / CCGs that do not permit GPs in their area to prescribe pumps, regardless of the urologists' recommendations. I posted John's retired pump to a member here a couple of years ago because they are not available on the NHS in the area in which he lives.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
I had problems getting a prescription pump at first so tried the cheapies from Love Honey and then Amazon. I first got one with a squeezy pump but the actual pump was slow and soon split. Then I got one with the scissor or trigger/pistol type pump which has lasted ages. It also has a longer more flexible pipe. Now I have got a prescription Somarect as well. To sum up my opinion on the positives and negatives of each.
Somarect Positives:
Top quality pump unit
Excellent choice of rings
Slightly easier to apply the ring
Comes with inner sleeve if required
Good safety pressure relief valve
Instructions
Somarect Negatives:
Heavy (can't use it standing without holding it)
Not waterproof
Expensive or prescription only
Cheapy Positives:
Price and variety available
Waterproof so can use in bath or shower
All parts can be bought seperately as extras or variety
Lighter so can wear while standing if you get a good seal
Cheapy Negatives:
Some of the actual pump units are weak (The pistol type is fine).
Slightly more difficult to apply a ring, although just takes practice
Be careful that if the pressure relief fails that you are ready to just pull the pipe off
If I could only have one regardless of cost it would be the cheapy.
Cheapy:
I have found that if you pump up to full engorgement then remove the comfort seal I can wear a soft ring and then get the tube over the ring forming the seal and then pump with the ring already on.
Or if you are shaved or at least trimmed short, put the ring on the tube without the comfort seal and slip it off and onto penis before releasing the pressure
It all takes practice and a bit of trial and error.
Good luck
Cheers
Bill
User
How do I find out if my gp can prescribe pumps
User
You can look up your NHS trust's policy on pumps, or you can ask the GP.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
Not been on for a while since i mentioned the symptoms i was experiencing after using the Viridal Duo . The erections i got started out great and we had good sex. But about a month ago the erections i got were strange and my penis was bent and short. I've since been told it's Peronies Disease and should stop using the injections which i have done. I was advised to use a penis pump but the vaxaid pump i had bought for nearly £200 just after my operation i found to be useless and used it rarely. I have been informed by my nurse that she is writing to my doctor to prescribe a better one and that i should use it daily, i bought a cheep one for a fiver on line from Lovejoy that seams to work. It doesn't have restrictor rings and in any case she said i should just use it for exercise until you get the better one from my doctor. I'm really down because the injections worked and gave us a regular sex life all be it once a fortnite which we were both happy with. Now we have no sex life and no prospect of it with the Peronies Disease. My nurse says could take a year with daily pump excersise and no guarantee it will get rid of it. I've never managed to get a decent erection with the pump just a red painfull blob! I'm no spring chicken but my nurse says she deals with men a lot older than me which gave me hope and a bit of my self esteem back.
Any help or advice will be very welcome because I'm so down. When i opted for the op to remove my prostrate i prepared myself for a future without sex but the reality is it's all i think about and just want a little bit of fun with my lovely understanding wife and feel like a man again which is what i had with the Viridal injections.
Thanks
User
I am sorry to read your post because it was a mistake to buy that pump. I have been using penis pumps (two so far both very good) for 9 years following RP. The device is superb for rehabilitation and then for regular sex. The main advice I would give is that it requires a great deal of patience and initially hard work and support from your wife. I am not a medical man but I think using a descent pump will improve the condition of your penis which was probably cause by the injections
ps In many ways our sex life has improved because were are well beyond being middle aged and pre-surgery my erections were beginning to be rather weak and difficult to achieve. The pump provides erections on demand and as strong as when I was a young man! You don't have to give up sex.
'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.' Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate |
User
Allgone,
You need to ask for a referral to a consultant urologist. There are treatments for Peryonies.
The SOMAerect pump has additional correction cylinders available for correcting it, and that might be a possibility, but it needs investigating by a urology consultant to see exactly what's caused it in the penis. I don't think an ED nurse will have the necessary skills to do this.
User
Thanks for the advice. I bought the cheap lovejoy pump to keep up the exercise while waiting for the prescription which I'm collecting from my doctors tomorrow recomended by my andrology nurse to keep up the daily exercise. Not sure what model it will be.
User
Hope your new pump is working well. I agree with Mityana39 - it takes a lot of patience. One of the biggest things we all need to adjust to is that erections are not as quick or automatic as they used to be. It can be tempting to give up because you can't do it the way you used to. But actually it's worth being patient and adapting!