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My father has just been diagnosed

User
Posted 27 Oct 2020 at 15:46

Hi there. There's probably a thread for this topic already somewhere but I am a new member of this community and haven't seen it yet. My father has just got home from his latest appointment, and has been diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer. He is the centre of my universe and until now I've managed to keep calm about his tests as I have a background in cancer diagnosis. I knew that prostate cancer is very much a topic where you shouldn't worry until you need to. The words "worst case scenario" were used today, and I honestly feel frozen in time.

I guess all I'm hoping for is someone to tell me that there's still time and that things will be alright in the end. Any insight from anyone in my position about what to expect would be extremely appreciated. I find comfort in knowledge and being able to prepare for things. The unknown terrifies me.

Thanks in advance.

User
Posted 27 Oct 2020 at 16:05

Hi Isabell, you have came to the right place for help and friendly advice. Sorry that you are here. Finding threads and posts on this forum is difficult, but don't worry people will come along and help you, and sometimes post links to relevant posts. A diagnosis with metastatic cancer is never good, but we have had people on here living 5, 10, 15 years after such a diagnosis. What is his psa? That can sometimes give a clue as to how extensive the spread is. How old is he?

There are many treatment options, they tend to work for a while then you have to move on to the next one, so his life will change but is certainly not over yet. 

Dave

User
Posted 27 Oct 2020 at 16:31

Hi Isabel,

I am a similar age to you and three weeks ago I too found out my Dad (early 50's) has advance prostate cancer. This was extremely scary at first and totally consumes your mind (it still does now)! 

It would be good to understand your Dads PSA & Gleason Score?

In the last three weeks, we have learnt a little more about this terrible disease and we have definitely found this forum a great tool to research/relate to similar stories/diagnosis. It definitely gives you more hope. 

I am still a newbie to this world, but my advice at present would be to stay positive and try not to over think different scenarios even though I know it is hard. Take some time from work if you can, go on plenty of walks and talk about your feelings (this helped me deal with the original diagnosis and I feel much more positive three weeks later). This will help you be as strong as possible for your Dad and family. 

There are also lots of other members on this forum with advance PC who still live full and happy lives many years on! PC is slow growing (even if it is the "aggressive" type). 

I hope this helps to find some comfort.

 

User
Posted 29 Oct 2020 at 19:23

Dear Isabel

I can’t offer any medical advice but my dad also was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer in June 2020, my dad is a lot older than yours and is 84 but until this summer was as fitter than most 60 year olds.

My dad did (finally) get the 2nd line drug Abiraterone end of July but sadly it does not seem to be working well.

However if you read many of the stories here, there are very good long term results for men, and as your dad is pretty young I would be hoping the oncologist would have a good few options for him so please stay hopeful.

Regardless of scores/medical terms (that sometimes seem overwhelming/confusing for both patient and family) ....spend all the time with your dad and family, even the bad times are better as a family, just be there...that’s the best gift you can give him. 

best wishes

anne

xx

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User
Posted 27 Oct 2020 at 16:05

Hi Isabell, you have came to the right place for help and friendly advice. Sorry that you are here. Finding threads and posts on this forum is difficult, but don't worry people will come along and help you, and sometimes post links to relevant posts. A diagnosis with metastatic cancer is never good, but we have had people on here living 5, 10, 15 years after such a diagnosis. What is his psa? That can sometimes give a clue as to how extensive the spread is. How old is he?

There are many treatment options, they tend to work for a while then you have to move on to the next one, so his life will change but is certainly not over yet. 

Dave

User
Posted 27 Oct 2020 at 16:31

Hi Isabel,

I am a similar age to you and three weeks ago I too found out my Dad (early 50's) has advance prostate cancer. This was extremely scary at first and totally consumes your mind (it still does now)! 

It would be good to understand your Dads PSA & Gleason Score?

In the last three weeks, we have learnt a little more about this terrible disease and we have definitely found this forum a great tool to research/relate to similar stories/diagnosis. It definitely gives you more hope. 

I am still a newbie to this world, but my advice at present would be to stay positive and try not to over think different scenarios even though I know it is hard. Take some time from work if you can, go on plenty of walks and talk about your feelings (this helped me deal with the original diagnosis and I feel much more positive three weeks later). This will help you be as strong as possible for your Dad and family. 

There are also lots of other members on this forum with advance PC who still live full and happy lives many years on! PC is slow growing (even if it is the "aggressive" type). 

I hope this helps to find some comfort.

 

User
Posted 27 Oct 2020 at 16:52

Thank you both for your responses, it honestly has already put me at ease (slightly)! His PSA is 125 and he's 57 y/o but up until now really seemed like the picture of health! He does a lot of exercise, has a balanced diet and has never really had any serious health issues before. I don't know his Gleason score yet, but I don't want to ask him about all of this too frequently, I want him not to feel burdened by worry or constantly having to talk about it.

Thank you both for your supportive suggestions and optimism, I hope karma rewards you both for that.

User
Posted 27 Oct 2020 at 17:09

Well everything isn't going to be okay as in he could be cured and put it all behind him but life will be a different kind of okay once you have all got used to the diagnosis.

The hormone treatment (which he presumably started today) will starve the cancer, preventing it from growing any further. This doesn't work for ever but can work for a number of years in many cases.

 
He may also be offered early chemo which doesn't kill prostate cancer on its own but can critically injure it so that the HT works better for longer. Because of Covid, they may decide that chemo is too risky and offer him abiraterone or enzalutimide instead, both of which would not normally be available to him yet because they are very expensive but are very effective for many men.

As stated above, we have members here who have been on HT for 5 years or more living an almost normal life, and 15 years + in some cases. Where the mets are does make some difference - mets to soft organs such as the brain or liver may be much more devastating than bone and lymph mets

 

 

Edited by member 27 Oct 2020 at 17:11  | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 29 Oct 2020 at 19:23

Dear Isabel

I can’t offer any medical advice but my dad also was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer in June 2020, my dad is a lot older than yours and is 84 but until this summer was as fitter than most 60 year olds.

My dad did (finally) get the 2nd line drug Abiraterone end of July but sadly it does not seem to be working well.

However if you read many of the stories here, there are very good long term results for men, and as your dad is pretty young I would be hoping the oncologist would have a good few options for him so please stay hopeful.

Regardless of scores/medical terms (that sometimes seem overwhelming/confusing for both patient and family) ....spend all the time with your dad and family, even the bad times are better as a family, just be there...that’s the best gift you can give him. 

best wishes

anne

xx

User
Posted 20 Apr 2021 at 03:15

Hi Singa how's things going ?

Willie

 
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