My friend is 85 with prostate cancer which has spread to his pelvis. He was diagnosed about four years ago when his PSA was 300-odd. Various hormone treatments have reduced his PSA to 12, and his oncologist, who I encouraged him to see, has discharged him back to the urology specialist.
Apart from the pain in his hip, he is doing fine. I think the doctors realise they are not miracle workers, and that most men in his condition die with PCa, not of it. 80% of men in their 80s have some prostate cancer!
I’m sure my 86 year old father-in-law has prostate cancer too, as he has urinary problems, but his GP won’t even give him a PSA test.
I think the pragmatic medical thinking is that if they get to that age, it ain’t gonna kill ‘em, they’ll die of something else. I am coming round to their point of view.
Don’t know if this gives you any comfort. The kidney problem is more concerning, but best of luck with your Dad.
Cheers, John.