The rules can change

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Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 09:56

Albertacam, Misty, Mish58 -

I agree with all you say. Personally I/we have moved on from trying to recover previous levels of functionality and rather look to exceed them within the new enforced physical framework. I now dont regret having PCa has it has opened up many new perspectives.

- I have experienced adult life without the overriding influence of testosterone. Temporarily at least at this stage. But it does provide an interesting viewpoint of the world around and its obsessions.

- Due to treatment induced ED and shrinkage I have been able to experiment and experience orgasms separated from erections. And yes it is more like what I believe a female orgasm is like and many times is a significantly more satisfying experience. I now believe that the standard combination of erection and ejaculation limits most men to a 2nd rate orgasm experience.

- I have traversed the ADT process and gone from formerly daily intercourse to complete disinterest, to being unmoved by a naked wife, to finding kissing her to be like kissing ones mother. Then with the return of testosterone to experiencing returning desire and lust and finding a new appreciation of her as a wife and partner.

While I acknowledge the devastating and ongoing impact of this disease on both our lives and relationship it hasn't been a complete disaster and it can uncover some positive opportunities for personal growth if you can recognise them.

Cheers

John

User

Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 13:21

Thanks Misty , awesome post !!!

Yes I’m now 3 months into injectable HT and it’s way less as bad as I thought it was going to be. Reduced but very present libido. Still find wife very attractive ( and ladies in general ). Erectile function unaltered but slight shrinkage and especially to testicles , but penetration still easy with ring. Yep , as others say it’s the orgasm thing !! Mostly I don’t come but have mini ‘waves’ which are still great , and I just know when to stop and smile and hug and not make it a big deal. Still once a week I reckon. So glad I’m more chilled and have a superb wife

User

Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 13:29

Thanks so much Chris - it wonderful to hear you and a few others reporting that we don't have to lose our libido when we have hormone treatment. Yay!

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Thanks Misty , awesome post !!!
Mostly I don’t come but have mini ‘waves’ which are still great , and I just know when to stop and smile and hug and not make it a big deal.

I am also getting over the need to have orgasms the way I did as a young man. I am thrilled to hear you are making this shift with such a positive attitude. I have been (both mourning and) celebrating this recently with my wife. Like you said, if we are mindful, those waves of energy are quite profound and make the specifics of orgasm less relevant. I experience it as love and energy circulation through both of our bodies and it is exquisite.

Like others have said, this cancer is an opportunity to be flexible (literally and figuratively 😗)and experience new ways of making love. It has been a huge liberation for both of us that either one can "know when to stop and smile and hug" as you say, and enjoy the huge joy of making love with each other without being attached to a specific orgasmic outcome.

User

Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 15:19

So envious Albertacam! All my cool art college friends (I went back as a mature student) have grown up and had babies so no longer indulge! Our own kids are now at the age where if we went searching we'd be bound to come across someone they know. Given our situation as upstanding professionals in the city...the shock would be immense 😂😂😉😉

We don't tell anybody about PC because my OH is very private...but I want to go on the radio debates about legalising cannabis and shout out for the over 50, 60s and even 70s who for the last 25 to 45 years have been exemplary human beings with responsible jobs, bringing up our high achieving kids (who would never smoke anything!!). I want to shout out how WE want legalised and regulated pot to help us with our aches and pains and restless legs AND especially our sex lives! Do you think it would swing it?? The argument I mean😂😂

User

Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 15:21

😂😂 Chris now everybody knows you're my friend!!

User

Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 15:44

Nothing wrong with that dear friend. You helped me at a very specific time in my life , as I have helped you over the years. There’s friends for you. Long may it last x

User

Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 21:21

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

I want to shout out how WE want legalised and regulated pot to help us with our aches and pains and restless legs AND especially our sex lives! Do you think it would swing it?

Hi Misty,

Before pot was legal here, I went the medical marijuana route. It was so easy to get a prescription, but not from any doctor. Find the marijuana friendly one.

PS: I knew you meant swinging the argument. 😂

Cam xx

User

Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 21:54

Not an option in Ireland. Wasnt allowed at all until recently and now only allowable in the narrowest of circumstances for specific conditions.

https://www.gov.ie/en/publication/90ece9-medical-cannabis-access-programme/

Can I ask though as a matter of interest what format medical marijuana takes?

User

Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 22:49

To be honest Misty it’s still not allowed at all in the UK but a blind eye is turned to it as long as you aren’t carrying more than for yourself nor driving under the influence. It’s so available I’m sure you could find a source where even your kids wouldn’t find out. And would they really be bothered — my most recent one came from my own daughter !! And I have to say that after 2 try’s and and a few try’s 30 yrs ago that I hate it. Makes me feel so ill and I hate the smell a lot , so any benefits are way out of the door for me

User

Posted 14 Apr 2021 at 23:36

You didn't try it as a joint did you CJ? More effective in cookies or cake, I understand. I have an old colleague who has used cannabis to ease her multiple sclerosis for nearly 30 years, with the knowledge of her GP. But I don't think she has ever smoked it 😆

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 15 Apr 2021 at 00:05

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Can I ask though as a matter of interest what format medical marijuana takes?

Hi Misty,

Yes you can ask. I have used smoking joints and using cannabis oils (50% CBD and 50% THC) under the tongue. To use edibles, you have to go slowly. They are a delayed reaction and some people get way too much if they're impatient to feel something. Smoking is an immediate hit, so you always know where you are.

A few (if any) medical cannabis subscribers will agree to edibles.

Albertacam xx

Edited by member 15 Apr 2021 at 00:06 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 15 Apr 2021 at 07:48

I’ve tried both Lyn. When my family went to America 2 yrs ago , and left me at home alone , a friend made some brownies for me. I took the recommended dose and then promptly passed out on the settee for two hours tripping lol. When I awoke I felt like a 15 yr old having been to his first party. Room spinning , nausea , the lot. The last thing on my mind would be bonking haha. Maybe I’m allergic to it 😆😆

User

Posted 15 Apr 2021 at 14:14

I think the problem is the potency nowdays Chris. It's not like it was 30 or 40 years ago when we would have been in college and any access you had was probably homegrown with a tiny percentage of THC...or a bit of resin that would be diluted a lot with tobacco. Sadly in America there are now problems with people who smoke too much too often because while they legalised it, it seems they didn't regulate potency. Anybody who has watched Narcos on Netflix will know how much the product has changed over the years with selective breeding. I would hate my own kids to dabble now.

We were so cautious with this stuff...a sniff of it would nearly knock you out before you'd even light it. We used a small fingernail worth between two of us each time we smoked it in the little pipe...if you put that much into a cookie for one person you probably would be sick! That's why it lasted us so long. I'd prefer to get much less potent stuff like years ago where you could roll it and smoke away in a sociable fashion. I just wish it was legal and regulated. Legal weed for the over 50s anyone??😂😀 That would be a fun campaign 😂😂

User

Posted 16 Apr 2021 at 00:54

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

I'd prefer to get much less potent stuff like years ago where you could roll it and smoke away in a sociable fashion.

Hi Misty,

It's time to take a trip to Canada (after Covid, of course)! When you visit a cannabis shop here, the servers will talk to through what you want and how to use it. They all have several kinds of Cannabis with a variety of strengths. They want you to have a good time and not to get in over your head. You want to have great sex and be buzzed but totally functional, they can help. :)

Albertacam

User

Posted 16 Apr 2021 at 13:30

Sounds great! Pity we are at that super expensive time of kids in college or about to be!!

User

Posted 04 Jul 2021 at 13:31

Amazing story, its good to have a very supportive and loving wife also one you can share your inner most feelings with. Even after drifting apart and coming back together at the end by talking to one another and being honest gives you both a bright future

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