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Caring for husband with cancer

User
Posted 14 Jan 2021 at 12:51

My husband who is 34 has had surgery for prostate cancer. he only got diagnosed 2 weeks ago after no symptoms at all apart from tiredness and a low blood count so it's all been such a shock and whirlwind of appointments. He is now recovering in a hospital. Now such treatment can be selected without leaving your home by looking at the site  https://bookinghealth.com/disease/prostate-cancer/germany all clinics in Germany or even around the world. I was just wondering how everyone goes about their 'normal life' cause I am struggling. I have had 2 weeks off sick (anxiety) when he was first diagnosed, and this week while he has been in hospital I have taken a week's annual leave as I just cannot imagine being at work at the moment especially as I visit him every day. I am meant to go back to work next week, just don't know if I am ready but feel like such a fraud as it's not me that's poorly!

Edited by member 21 Jan 2021 at 07:43  | Reason: I would just recommend this site for people who need treatment and looking for qualified clinics

User
Posted 14 Jan 2021 at 14:14
It is so hard - there is a good reason why prostate cancer is called the couple's disease.

It would be helpful if you could fill in your profile with information such as what type of PCa he was diagnosed with, his Gleason score and staging and what type of RP he had. Also some background info - I see that on another post you mention that he was having terrible pain? Are you both still in Germany? When are you travelling back to America?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 14 Jan 2021 at 15:10
You may not believe it at this point, but you come to terms with cancer and get on with your life. Everyone does, but it takes a while. Get through it a day at a time and things will be fine.

A prostatectomy is major surgery with all sorts of major muscles cut. It takes a couple of months at least to get over it.

Very best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 19 Jan 2021 at 04:52

Hello Allison99

My very fit, active husband age 54 was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in October 2020. He had no symptoms at all and suddenly developed lower back, hip and thigh pain. It's hard to comprehend he was doing 80 mile cycles just a back in the summer. 

When we went to the uroligist appointment in October we never thought in a million years this would be the outcome. 

The impact on my husband, myself and 2 sons has turned our worlds upside down. He is on abiraterone treatment and degralix alongside slow release morphine and that has helped a lot to get his pain under control and lowered his psa from 937 down to 0.12. However, The emotional side has been the most difficult for both of us. It has had a significant on my ability to function, eat and sleep that I have been off work since last October. We have both been completely overwhelmed at times as there is so much to get your head round and come to terms with. I hope you are able to take the time off work you need. Hoping things improve quickly for for your husband too.

 

User
Posted 19 Jan 2021 at 17:44

My husband was diagnosed with locally advanced pc back in May and thankfully I was on furlough at the time due to the corona pandemic and being in national lockdown. Personally speaking I would have taken time away from work to support his mental & physical health if I hadn’t been on furlough especially as a safety critical worker. I would never have been able to keep my mind focused enough on my duties. 

It is very much a couples disease and if you need time away from work to support each other than take it...

Good luck to you both and hopefully you will get to the other side soon 

 

moozel

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User
Posted 14 Jan 2021 at 14:14
It is so hard - there is a good reason why prostate cancer is called the couple's disease.

It would be helpful if you could fill in your profile with information such as what type of PCa he was diagnosed with, his Gleason score and staging and what type of RP he had. Also some background info - I see that on another post you mention that he was having terrible pain? Are you both still in Germany? When are you travelling back to America?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 14 Jan 2021 at 14:58

It is really important for us to get any feedback!

My husband has deep pain, and pressure in his lower back and bones. We are both still in Germany, doctors recommend staying here for at least 7-10 days. During the first few days after his operation, thank God, he started to feel a little better. Hopefully next month we`ll be living a normal life in America

User
Posted 14 Jan 2021 at 15:10
You may not believe it at this point, but you come to terms with cancer and get on with your life. Everyone does, but it takes a while. Get through it a day at a time and things will be fine.

A prostatectomy is major surgery with all sorts of major muscles cut. It takes a couple of months at least to get over it.

Very best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 19 Jan 2021 at 04:52

Hello Allison99

My very fit, active husband age 54 was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in October 2020. He had no symptoms at all and suddenly developed lower back, hip and thigh pain. It's hard to comprehend he was doing 80 mile cycles just a back in the summer. 

When we went to the uroligist appointment in October we never thought in a million years this would be the outcome. 

The impact on my husband, myself and 2 sons has turned our worlds upside down. He is on abiraterone treatment and degralix alongside slow release morphine and that has helped a lot to get his pain under control and lowered his psa from 937 down to 0.12. However, The emotional side has been the most difficult for both of us. It has had a significant on my ability to function, eat and sleep that I have been off work since last October. We have both been completely overwhelmed at times as there is so much to get your head round and come to terms with. I hope you are able to take the time off work you need. Hoping things improve quickly for for your husband too.

 

User
Posted 19 Jan 2021 at 17:44

My husband was diagnosed with locally advanced pc back in May and thankfully I was on furlough at the time due to the corona pandemic and being in national lockdown. Personally speaking I would have taken time away from work to support his mental & physical health if I hadn’t been on furlough especially as a safety critical worker. I would never have been able to keep my mind focused enough on my duties. 

It is very much a couples disease and if you need time away from work to support each other than take it...

Good luck to you both and hopefully you will get to the other side soon 

 

moozel

 
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