Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
I had nerve-sparing radical prostatectomy last December...Can anyone tell me how the recovery of the ED happened? Was it a progressive recovery, starting with small changes, incipient erections, etc? And how long until you could get proper erections again?
HenryBB exactly the questions I was asking! I am now 13 months post surgery and my erections are getting noticeably better. My wife and I had our first penetrative sex with literally NO mechanical or chemical aids at the weekend. Looking back over the last year, offering a few experiences and milestones as examples and no more than that:
* My recovery was progressive, starting with small changes, achingly slow
* For me it actually got worse for the first 3 months after surgery. I had about 75% erectile function a few weeks after surgery, but just about nothing in Months 3 and 4. It was so scary to hug my wife and have literally no movement down there.
* Before the end of Month 4 I discovered the vacuum pump and that gave me huge comfort that at least I was able to keep the tissues healthy by artificially inflating erections - and they felt good. The books don't point out how much more sensitive a penis is when erect than flaccid.
* PDE5 drugs didn't work for me - and I know they do for lots of others.
* After a few months of pumping and experimenting I started to work out how a combination of cock ring and stimulation could get me back up to something approaching hard - and eventually get fully hard just in the moment of orgasm.
* What was scary was that the changes were so small. I would have the above experience and think "it's better" only to realise there was still almost no brain-penis connection.
* Then I got help from pelvic floor specialist physios and fine tuned my pelvic floor exercises. Slowly from about month 6 to 10 there began to be the slightest tingles, then some swelling, then I would feel like I was getting hard nocturnal erections - only to find if I actually checked down there it was still soft, just slightly swollen. I now know that these were really positive signs of life!
* By about month 10 my wife and I had figured out how to incorporate all this awkwardness into our lovemaking. She would stroke me while I did my pelvic floor exercises (it really helps to do them with at least a partial erection - closer to the objective). On good days I would be hard enough to penetrate her so long as I wore a very tight cock ring after using the pump.
* Be prepared to have very low endurance - what can really freak a man out is to finally get "in there" only to fade within a minute or two. It can be depressing to lose that firmness and along with it a lot of the sensation, ending up "pushing a piece of rope." Let go of attachment to "finishing" and focus on the pleasurable sensations and lovemaking.
* In month 13 my natural endurance is up to about 5 minutes. What is so weird is that I can see it will take about a month per minute or two of added endurance! (I can go as long as we like if I wear a very tight cock ring but that tends to hurt after a while.)
Lots of detail here - I hope you find it useful. Know it won't be exactly the same for you, but I really wished somebody could have answered the questions you ask, when I was at the stage you are at,
Warm regards and best wishes, Mish