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HT and Inorgasmia

User
Posted 06 Apr 2021 at 09:09

Hi everyone I’ve just had my third monthly injection of Decapeptyl. Mostly things are good so far with the main side-effect being hot flushes. I’ve not had a result yet to see if the HT is actually helping my cancer with a start PSA of 990. Any idea what sort of drop I may see after 3 months ? 
Ironically my libido is still very healthy although obviously reduced , and I’m happy to engage. EF is also fine with daily Tadalafil and pump usage. Size is still fine but testicles have shrunk. My issue is that more often than not I can’t reach orgasm by any means which has become very frustrating indeed. It puts me off wanting to start anything although I’m capable. I guess this is quite normal but it’s doing my head in ! Any advice ? 

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 06 Apr 2021 at 11:31
Hi Chris - my oh also experiences the same. After chemo and radiotherapy side effects subsided we were both pleased to find that he can gain a good erection, albeit he rarely has the desire. Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to be able to orgasm. We’re working on it but he said isn’t too distressed by it. I think the fact that he can gain erection and that we’re close again is enough for now and gives some hope.
User
Posted 06 Apr 2021 at 11:21
According to this venerable site HT may impact the way it feels but nothing about stopping it happening?

I went through an extended phase of not being able to orgasm and I certainly sympathise with your feelings of frustration.

So what helped me? - when it was really bad (like every time) I think it was your suggestion to "have a drink", the fact that it worked I put down to over thinking the whole thing. With me I think it was a combination of ED (erectile doubt!) new relationship, phsycotic ex wife etc etc.

So harder than it sounds but try and relax about it and don't test yourself or even think about it. Just try and go with the flow....

User
Posted 06 Apr 2021 at 17:16

I'm the same on hormone therapy - probably only orgasm about half the time (if that), whereas I always did before.

You do need to look on things differently. If you regard sex as a means to an orgasm, then you are going to be disappointed some of the time. However, sex needs to be enjoyable, so it needs to be about something achievable, so it needs to be looked upon differently. Orgasm is not the only pleasant part of sex - the lead up is good too, and the experience you are giving your partner. You should focus on these, but if an orgasm happens, that's a bonus on top.

You might also look at some powerful male vibrators which might be helpful for reaching orgasm, although I can't guarantee they'll work for you. The Guybrator is one that gets mentioned in gay/bi support groups (which tend to be much more open discussing this sort of thing). It's also good for men who can't get an erection but want to orgasm. Vibrators don't work for all men though, and can just generate soreness.

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User
Posted 06 Apr 2021 at 11:21
According to this venerable site HT may impact the way it feels but nothing about stopping it happening?

I went through an extended phase of not being able to orgasm and I certainly sympathise with your feelings of frustration.

So what helped me? - when it was really bad (like every time) I think it was your suggestion to "have a drink", the fact that it worked I put down to over thinking the whole thing. With me I think it was a combination of ED (erectile doubt!) new relationship, phsycotic ex wife etc etc.

So harder than it sounds but try and relax about it and don't test yourself or even think about it. Just try and go with the flow....

User
Posted 06 Apr 2021 at 11:31
Hi Chris - my oh also experiences the same. After chemo and radiotherapy side effects subsided we were both pleased to find that he can gain a good erection, albeit he rarely has the desire. Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to be able to orgasm. We’re working on it but he said isn’t too distressed by it. I think the fact that he can gain erection and that we’re close again is enough for now and gives some hope.
User
Posted 06 Apr 2021 at 16:18
Thanks Skye and yes to be fair it isn’t the end of the world to not orgasm if the intimacy is still there and EF is still good. Libido is good too. It just seems extra cruel I guess. Just hope it’s working but I’ve left it very very late - maybe for good reason !

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 06 Apr 2021 at 17:16

I'm the same on hormone therapy - probably only orgasm about half the time (if that), whereas I always did before.

You do need to look on things differently. If you regard sex as a means to an orgasm, then you are going to be disappointed some of the time. However, sex needs to be enjoyable, so it needs to be about something achievable, so it needs to be looked upon differently. Orgasm is not the only pleasant part of sex - the lead up is good too, and the experience you are giving your partner. You should focus on these, but if an orgasm happens, that's a bonus on top.

You might also look at some powerful male vibrators which might be helpful for reaching orgasm, although I can't guarantee they'll work for you. The Guybrator is one that gets mentioned in gay/bi support groups (which tend to be much more open discussing this sort of thing). It's also good for men who can't get an erection but want to orgasm. Vibrators don't work for all men though, and can just generate soreness.

 
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