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My dad newly diagnosed

User
Posted 03 Jun 2021 at 09:35

My Dad has recently been diagnosed with prostrate cancer. He has a psa  of 71 and gleeson 4+5

Bone scan was clear but doctor now wants him to have a ct scan to see if its spread to lymp nodes. If it has he wont be operating due to his age (84)

He mentioned 4 weeks of radiotherapy and a 3 monthly injection starting next week as he is on tablets at the moment.

I did not really take it all in as only just recently finished going to the cancer unit with mum who has just been given all clear from breast cancer.

My daughter aged 10 has just been diagnosed as diabetic type 1 and spent 2 nights in hdu  and I dont know who to look after first :( Dealing with dads diagnoses is hard :( Has anyone else been through similar who can maybe offer me some hope :-/ 

 

User
Posted 05 Jun 2021 at 01:51

Hi Andrea, welcome to our little club. We don't often get easy questions here, but for you the answer is easy. Your daughter comes first. 

A diagnosis of prostate cancer is not nice and G9 is not great, but every man in his 80s is going to get something like this. It is almost certainly treatable in his case and statistics say the chance of him dieing from prostate cancer are still quite small. He may find the treatment unpleasant and uncomfortable, but that is just one of the penalties of living to a ripe old age. 

I know very little about diabetes. I suspect your daughter can live a long and fulfilling life. She has to come first, you come second and your parents come third. 

Don't hesitate to ask anything you want about prostate cancer. We can offer lots of help and advice, and hopefully relieve any anxiety you have about this so you can concentrate on the more important things in life. 

Dave

User
Posted 05 Jun 2021 at 10:30
Usually, it can be arranged for him to have his injections at the GP practice. The first injection may be for a month and as long as he tolerates it okay, the injections will then be once every 3 months. The radiotherapy will start in 3 to 6 months once the hormones have weakened the cancer cells. He will go to the hospital every weekday for 4 weeks.

So for now, you can concentrate on your daughter and celebrating your mum's remission and (hopefully) a lovely summer. Not much will be going on for your dad over the next 3 months at least. In all likelihood he will be here for a good few years yet

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 05 Jun 2021 at 21:58

Hi Andrea

Sorry to hear about your dad…it sounds like it’s a rough time for you with this, your mum and daughter.

I can’t advice on anything medically but my dad (85) has advanced prostate cancer (not sure of scores etc when diagnosed 2018 but probably locally advanced) and he was ok on the hormone injections for 2 years. After that there are other drugs to slow things down so hopefully your dad will around for quite a while yet.

It seems in general a slow cancer (thou tbh I am not sure at the moment if that is good or not) so hopefully the doctors will find something that works well for your dad.

Easier said than done(!!) but try not to worry too much about the future… you don’t know what will happen (and it seems neither can the doctors sometimes!), you can’t change it, so try and enjoy the current time and spend time with your loved ones.

best wishes

Anne

xx

User
Posted 07 Jun 2021 at 00:56
Hi Andrea,

Small consolation as it may be, order a free copy of the comprehensive information folder called the “Tool Kit” from the publications section of this website.

As someone else alluded to above, around 80% of men in their eighties have some prostate cancer, and most will die with it, not of it.

Best of luck to Dad.

Cheers, John

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User
Posted 05 Jun 2021 at 01:51

Hi Andrea, welcome to our little club. We don't often get easy questions here, but for you the answer is easy. Your daughter comes first. 

A diagnosis of prostate cancer is not nice and G9 is not great, but every man in his 80s is going to get something like this. It is almost certainly treatable in his case and statistics say the chance of him dieing from prostate cancer are still quite small. He may find the treatment unpleasant and uncomfortable, but that is just one of the penalties of living to a ripe old age. 

I know very little about diabetes. I suspect your daughter can live a long and fulfilling life. She has to come first, you come second and your parents come third. 

Don't hesitate to ask anything you want about prostate cancer. We can offer lots of help and advice, and hopefully relieve any anxiety you have about this so you can concentrate on the more important things in life. 

Dave

User
Posted 05 Jun 2021 at 10:30
Usually, it can be arranged for him to have his injections at the GP practice. The first injection may be for a month and as long as he tolerates it okay, the injections will then be once every 3 months. The radiotherapy will start in 3 to 6 months once the hormones have weakened the cancer cells. He will go to the hospital every weekday for 4 weeks.

So for now, you can concentrate on your daughter and celebrating your mum's remission and (hopefully) a lovely summer. Not much will be going on for your dad over the next 3 months at least. In all likelihood he will be here for a good few years yet

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 05 Jun 2021 at 21:58

Hi Andrea

Sorry to hear about your dad…it sounds like it’s a rough time for you with this, your mum and daughter.

I can’t advice on anything medically but my dad (85) has advanced prostate cancer (not sure of scores etc when diagnosed 2018 but probably locally advanced) and he was ok on the hormone injections for 2 years. After that there are other drugs to slow things down so hopefully your dad will around for quite a while yet.

It seems in general a slow cancer (thou tbh I am not sure at the moment if that is good or not) so hopefully the doctors will find something that works well for your dad.

Easier said than done(!!) but try not to worry too much about the future… you don’t know what will happen (and it seems neither can the doctors sometimes!), you can’t change it, so try and enjoy the current time and spend time with your loved ones.

best wishes

Anne

xx

User
Posted 07 Jun 2021 at 00:56
Hi Andrea,

Small consolation as it may be, order a free copy of the comprehensive information folder called the “Tool Kit” from the publications section of this website.

As someone else alluded to above, around 80% of men in their eighties have some prostate cancer, and most will die with it, not of it.

Best of luck to Dad.

Cheers, John

User
Posted 07 Jun 2021 at 07:30
One other consideration, given his age, try and emphasize quality of life in his treatment choices.

 
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