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Now off Hormones for 10 months

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User
Posted 11 Jun 2021 at 17:39

So having been off hormones for 10 months now after successful Radiotherapy, I am finding that the sex drive is returning.  However, it seems to be stronger than I remember and it is like I can't stop thinking about it!  Is this normal?

User
Posted 11 Jun 2021 at 20:52

yes, that's exactly right.  It is like I am making up for the post 3 years of monk like life style.  Is it just a passing phase?  Is it common?  Is it the new norm?

User
Posted 11 Jun 2021 at 23:20
Both physical and mental I guess. When I had my RP 6 yrs ago , and then it took me 2 1/2 yrs to regain natural erections again on demand , I was like a dog with two d**cks also. Couldn’t get enough if I’m honest. I guess it depends on what you were like before. I’ve always been highly sexed , so whilst I’m on HT now for the rest of my life at 54 , I’m still finding huge attraction to my wife and function is ok , I’m just less bothered in the act so to speak. Good luck — everyone on here needs good luck
User
Posted 12 Jun 2021 at 16:09

Yes I've been off HT 12 months and only just recovering, but I am very horny. Erections vary not great but OK at times. 

Dave

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User
Posted 11 Jun 2021 at 20:12
Yes, your brain is thinking & feeling like a 14 year old - all gangly arms, hormones and constant thoughts about sex.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 11 Jun 2021 at 20:52

yes, that's exactly right.  It is like I am making up for the post 3 years of monk like life style.  Is it just a passing phase?  Is it common?  Is it the new norm?

User
Posted 11 Jun 2021 at 23:20
Both physical and mental I guess. When I had my RP 6 yrs ago , and then it took me 2 1/2 yrs to regain natural erections again on demand , I was like a dog with two d**cks also. Couldn’t get enough if I’m honest. I guess it depends on what you were like before. I’ve always been highly sexed , so whilst I’m on HT now for the rest of my life at 54 , I’m still finding huge attraction to my wife and function is ok , I’m just less bothered in the act so to speak. Good luck — everyone on here needs good luck
User
Posted 12 Jun 2021 at 16:09

Yes I've been off HT 12 months and only just recovering, but I am very horny. Erections vary not great but OK at times. 

Dave

User
Posted 12 Jun 2021 at 16:29

I too have always been highly sexed.  During my 3 years as a monk (aka whilst on hormones!), my wife just lost all interest in sex and now that I am recovered, it just isn't happening between us at all which is very disappointing.  That leaves it down to me to satisfy myself and pleasant though that is, it always leaves me feeling so very guilty.  So yes, mentally, I'm not in a good place with it.  It seems quite a victorian viewpoint and does not help at all.  I think what I need is somebody to say, "it's OK to play with yourself  - just get on with it and enjoy it" here's hoping the ground swell of opinion thinks like that too.  I am exceptionally lucky to have beaten the cancer but I really was not expecting the "life changing" side of things to be so difficult to manage mentally let along physically.  Thanks in anticipation....

Edited by member 12 Jun 2021 at 16:33  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 12 Jun 2021 at 16:32

As Chris says, good luck Dave.  It may well improve.  

 

User
Posted 12 Jun 2021 at 16:42

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

I too have always been highly sexed. ... I need ... somebody to say, "it's OK to play with yourself  - just get on with it and enjoy it" 

Jeeper, it's definitely OK to play with yourself. Just get on with it and enjoy it! 

Remember, the victorian-style guilt feelings are not all personal. They are systemic constraints we inherited from generations before us. I can totally relate to you. I've masturbated frequently for about 50 years now, during times of abundant partner sex and times of drought. And as I have let go of the guilt, I have found masturbation more satisfying and definitely more fun. Since RP it has also helped me to track recovery and support penile rehabilitation.

Sexual function is a gift, and what matters is to enjoy it in any way that doesn't hurt others and does please you. Sharing it with a consenting partner is a bonus not available to everyone, and we all know how much it would hurt your partner if you made unreasonable demands or went looking elsewhere - so kudos for you for finding a solo workaround!

User
Posted 12 Jun 2021 at 17:18

... and if you need a medical authority, here's an extract from a podcast I just listened to:

I think that the concept of rehab is today mostly the concept of trying to have sex as much as or as frequently as possible. I tell my patients (and you can quote me) is “it is time to go back to high school and to practice masturbation as much as possible”.

The quote is from Prof Francesco Montorsi,  the Professor and Chairman of the Department of Urology and Director of the Urological Research Institute at University Vita-Salute San Raffaele in Milan, Italy. He has written and co-authored more than 860 peer reviewed journal articles and several book chapters.

https://www.talkingurology.com.au/talking-urology/series2/episode-2-prof-francesco-montorsi/ 

User
Posted 12 Jun 2021 at 18:39

Thanks Mish, that's the most sensible thing I have read in years!  Very many thanks indeed, I feel a lot better already.

 

Kind regards,

Jeeper

 

 

User
Posted 13 Jun 2021 at 00:43

Fine advice, and I think I'm only about 4 months before you Jeeper, so looking forward to puberty Mk II.

User
Posted 13 Jun 2021 at 17:44

You are right Andy.  It IS puberty Mk2.  I found whilst on the hormone treatment that I was not interested in sex at all.  All manly body hair eventually vanished - women have pubic hair so I kept those! - and I have grown a nice pair of boobs which I really do not need.  My bald patch on my head grew back some hair which was another good thing.  Hot flushes: I could still write a book about them. Penis length has shrunk by at least 1/2" no matter how you measure it and the foreskin has become tight.  I'm seeing the Urologist on Wednesday about that.

Bit by bit, things have returned to a new normal.  Body hair has grown back, bald patch is returning - typical - and erections are improving.  We have tried penetrative sex twice and given up: tight foreskin does not help and a lack of interest from the other half seems to have put a stop to it.  Dry orgasms are a bonus - no cleaning up to do!  Which leads to the advice from Mish above.  Masturbate as much as you can or it may not work properly when you want it to............hence my visit to the Urologist next week.  If I had been told to try and masturbate, I would despite the pain then. 

Good luck with your puberty Mk2, just look what fun you are going to have!

User
Posted 13 Jun 2021 at 18:03
You’re lucky, Jeeper. Over a year since stopping HT (Feb 2020) for me, and I still have essentially zero libido. Everything functions, but the desire is completely absent.

Chris

User
Posted 13 Jun 2021 at 18:22

I AM lucky Chris.  I recognise that though I was rather surprised by the urgency and frequency demanded by the penis in question.  

I'd read all of this thread again in detail AND all the blog link from the Urologist podcast.  That may well shed some light for you.  Certainly don't give up hope and keep trying.  You could always contact your Urology dept at the hospital.  I got referred by my Specialist Nurse and got the appointment within 3 months so perhaps talking to the Specialist Nurse first might be a good idea if you are concerned about your weak libido.

 

Good luck - let us know how things progress...........

User
Posted 13 Jun 2021 at 20:48
Hi Jeeper

I read that you said your wife has lost all interest in sex. Looking from the other point of view, I feel for her. Sex has been absent because of your treatment and now you are enjoying your second puberty and she’s left behind. I feel as though her needs may need to be considered and perhaps rekindled. It’s not easy to have absence enforced on us partners but she has probably forgotten what a good sexual relationship is like. Or maybe she’s found that masterbation has met her needs? Either way, surely giving sex in whatever form a go with the women you love should be on anyone’s wish list?

User
Posted 13 Jun 2021 at 21:39

Hello Skye,

You make a lovely point and have put it so nicely.  You are right of course and it should encourage me to try again and again to rekindle lost love.  It really is top of my wish list.  It would be fun trying but I suspect that in this instance, I am correct in my assessment of the situation.  I have been told quite bluntly how the land lies on a number of occasions.  I so wish you were right.  It's been a dreadful situation as I am sure you are sadly aware, if only we could turn back time...........

Take care and thank you. x

User
Posted 14 Jun 2021 at 18:47

Prostate cancer in the younger patients can come similarly timed with menopause in wives, and the two together can make even more of a dent on sex. If the man recovers libido and function, he may find his wife has got used to no sex. I've come across this scenario several times.

For some couples, they're fine with this, but if you aren't, then seeking some psychosexual counceling might be an idea. You can ask for this through your GP or CNS, but wait times can be long, and you might consider a private consultation.

User
Posted 16 Jun 2021 at 09:36
That is a good point Andy. I 'll investigate...........Thanks.
 
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