I thought I would let you all know how I am coping without my lovely G as it will soon be a year without him.
Not a day goes by without my thinking about him and missing him but I carry on in my slightly crazy fashion. I am learning a lot about myself and slowly starting to come to terms with the new me.
I have never been so thankful that my oldest and best friends have stuck by me, usually phoning every week to check in on me. We talk about G often and keep his memory alive. Only today I rang his best friend to wish him a happy birthday and we chatted for ages as old friends do.
I have ploughed my way through the legal stuff, learned how to change batteries and bulbs in our numerous sensor lights, planted baskets by myself, sorted car problems, rat visitors and dealt with Covid limitations.
A racing heart and hospital stay in November led to the discovery of a variety of health issues so I am being monitored by several consultants but feel well and carry on as usual.
My biggest challenge has been getting used to driving longer distances myself and that is getting better.I am so thankful that I have been as strong as I promised G, I would be. That doesn't mean that I don't cry, I do often, but I pick myself up and have managed to continue donating to the pc charity when I can.
I follow people's journeys and really feel for those struggling with the late stages of pc. It is a wicked disease and I will hate forever the last cruel days my G endured. He truly was my hero, so brave and so sad to leave us. If only he had managed to get over the chemo and the kidney problems he had at the end.
I think that those left behind carry the pain for a long time and it hurts to hear of others suffering too.
However, I feel fairly strong and pleased that I have been able to carry on but it is mainly because of the wonderful support network I have and that I am brave enough to strike up conversations with strangers and continue to grow and learn. To all couples going through this, I would say that it is important to keep up with your friendships so that if things get really tough there is someone you can talk to or can ask for help if you need it.
Good luck everyone - May you have many years ahead and may better and longer lasting treatments be found soon.