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Feeling depressed

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User
Posted 16 Oct 2021 at 11:35

Is it normal to still feel depressed? Albeit I have diagnosed with aggressive prostrate cancer it has not spread elsewhere and I have been told it is curable. I started hormone therapy about three days ago. Although properly not related but during my journey before diagnosis I suffered from a pain in my groin and stomach issue which seem to have got worse over the last few days.


 


Steve

User
Posted 30 Dec 2022 at 22:12
Hey John. You know I’m in the same boat. 55yrs old and 2 yrs on Decapeptyl incurable. I hear your words very loud and clear. I feel the same entirely. I have to drag my ass out of bed for the same routine , just waiting to die basically. I think you HAVE to keep working and as fit and healthy as you can. But don’t get me wrong I eat and drink what the hell I like. As much as it’s a pain in the arse you just have to keep busy , as when you’re busy you aren’t thinking about cancer. Music is very key to me. Earbuds in and phone in pocket listening to New Order and albums that I’ve missed. A new hobby flying 1.5 metre wingspan model airplanes. I’m the lollipop man at the school I used to be caretaker. I’m 7 1/2 yrs now with T4 and it’s been so long the fear has slightly gone. It’s still there in massively dark days but mostly I try to enjoy the time I have. Keep strong brother and fellow warrior. It’s a bad time of the year. If you want to talk then message me 👍
User
Posted 17 Oct 2021 at 13:56
I am 68 and diagnosed in February with advanced PC and three mets. Initially I was not so much shocked or depressed (I had braced myself for the outcome of the biopsy despite the well meaning optimism of my friends) but still had to come to terms with the new normal. i thought about it a lot for the first few months and read too much (since then I read this site and another one (U.S. based) to understand the experience of others and maintain perspective) but to be honest apart from the side effects of the treatment I haven't felt better in long time. I am not as "concerned" as I was initially. Indeed, I heard that someone had said that prostate cancer was the best thing that had happened to him - treatable and usually a long term disease, but it had bucked his ideas up on quality of life, use of time, exercise and diet. As Chris states, your depression will pass.
User
Posted 16 Oct 2021 at 14:58
I don't think many of us would NOT feel depressed after a cancer diagnosis - it's a shocking thing to have happen to you. After a while, though, it all sinks in and life with cancer becomes "the new normal". Everyone comes to terms with it in their own way, but you do come to terms with it because you've got to.

So yes, I'd say your feeling of depression is entirely normal, but it will pass.

Best wishes,

Chris
User
Posted 16 Oct 2021 at 12:54
When I suspected, and then realised I had PCa before I was diagnosed with it, I researched it and found it’s about the least worst cancer you can get!

There are hundreds of different ‘cancers’ but in fact they are many different diseases.

The worst ones are liver, lung and pancreatic ‘cancers’, which are likely to kill you within five years or less. 98% of PCa sufferers survive five years or more, and you are more likely to die with it, rather than of it.

So cheer up, and look forward to your treatment plan with what they call ‘curative intent’.

Best of luck.

Cheers, John.
User
Posted 16 Oct 2021 at 14:30

Yes, every emotion is possible, and though it is not the worst cancer I bet you would rather have none.


I just view it as part of life's rich tapestry. Lots of things have happened in my life, mostly good, so I don't complain much when I have the odd set back. 


HT can effect your mood, but it is a little early for that. Get help from your GP about 25% of the UK population have depression most people put up with it when they need not.

Dave

User
Posted 30 Dec 2022 at 21:30

Um yes! It's normal - we've got cancer!


I'm not quite as 'lucky' as you. I was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in March, with the usual 2 to 5 years prognosis.


When I'm busy, particularly at school where I work, I can usually just live my life.  At other times, despite things going well at the moment on apalutamide 0.1 PSA, things can be grim!  I find myself having very little inclination to get out of bed in the morning or get on with stuff. Why bother you're dying! Living in a slow motion car crash is not easy.


As you can tell I'm in a bit of a black mood here, hoping for some better days in 2023.  For all those in similar circumstances, what ways have worked for you to break the black moods?  Just being glad I'm 'healthy' today just doesn't cut it at times!

User
Posted 31 Dec 2022 at 14:35

Chris, your response to Johns post is arguably the wisest and most empathetic one he could surely have wished for?. I admire you both for your fortitude and determination, immensely so and wish you both well for the coming year.


Sláinte Mhath.


 


Jamie

Edited by member 31 Dec 2022 at 20:22  | Reason: Not specified

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User
Posted 16 Oct 2021 at 12:54
When I suspected, and then realised I had PCa before I was diagnosed with it, I researched it and found it’s about the least worst cancer you can get!

There are hundreds of different ‘cancers’ but in fact they are many different diseases.

The worst ones are liver, lung and pancreatic ‘cancers’, which are likely to kill you within five years or less. 98% of PCa sufferers survive five years or more, and you are more likely to die with it, rather than of it.

So cheer up, and look forward to your treatment plan with what they call ‘curative intent’.

Best of luck.

Cheers, John.
User
Posted 16 Oct 2021 at 14:30

Yes, every emotion is possible, and though it is not the worst cancer I bet you would rather have none.


I just view it as part of life's rich tapestry. Lots of things have happened in my life, mostly good, so I don't complain much when I have the odd set back. 


HT can effect your mood, but it is a little early for that. Get help from your GP about 25% of the UK population have depression most people put up with it when they need not.

Dave

User
Posted 16 Oct 2021 at 14:58
I don't think many of us would NOT feel depressed after a cancer diagnosis - it's a shocking thing to have happen to you. After a while, though, it all sinks in and life with cancer becomes "the new normal". Everyone comes to terms with it in their own way, but you do come to terms with it because you've got to.

So yes, I'd say your feeling of depression is entirely normal, but it will pass.

Best wishes,

Chris
User
Posted 17 Oct 2021 at 13:56
I am 68 and diagnosed in February with advanced PC and three mets. Initially I was not so much shocked or depressed (I had braced myself for the outcome of the biopsy despite the well meaning optimism of my friends) but still had to come to terms with the new normal. i thought about it a lot for the first few months and read too much (since then I read this site and another one (U.S. based) to understand the experience of others and maintain perspective) but to be honest apart from the side effects of the treatment I haven't felt better in long time. I am not as "concerned" as I was initially. Indeed, I heard that someone had said that prostate cancer was the best thing that had happened to him - treatable and usually a long term disease, but it had bucked his ideas up on quality of life, use of time, exercise and diet. As Chris states, your depression will pass.
User
Posted 10 Dec 2021 at 17:36
i respect anyone who owns up to feeling thoroughly depressed.
its entirely reasonable although of course very uncomfortable.
you feel what you feel, I am not for the 'you must be positive' stuff

keep it real! take care
User
Posted 10 Dec 2021 at 19:24
I note that you have only just started HT so it has not yet had time to affect your emotions and the way you feel. This is an aspect that some men seem little bothered by in this regard but others do experience a range of new or greater emotions. In a few cases partners have said their man's personality has changed greatly. If this happens get professional advice. Some men just bottle it up and upset partners more. At least you are reaching out with your feelings.
Barry
User
Posted 30 Dec 2022 at 21:30

Um yes! It's normal - we've got cancer!


I'm not quite as 'lucky' as you. I was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in March, with the usual 2 to 5 years prognosis.


When I'm busy, particularly at school where I work, I can usually just live my life.  At other times, despite things going well at the moment on apalutamide 0.1 PSA, things can be grim!  I find myself having very little inclination to get out of bed in the morning or get on with stuff. Why bother you're dying! Living in a slow motion car crash is not easy.


As you can tell I'm in a bit of a black mood here, hoping for some better days in 2023.  For all those in similar circumstances, what ways have worked for you to break the black moods?  Just being glad I'm 'healthy' today just doesn't cut it at times!

User
Posted 30 Dec 2022 at 22:12
Hey John. You know I’m in the same boat. 55yrs old and 2 yrs on Decapeptyl incurable. I hear your words very loud and clear. I feel the same entirely. I have to drag my ass out of bed for the same routine , just waiting to die basically. I think you HAVE to keep working and as fit and healthy as you can. But don’t get me wrong I eat and drink what the hell I like. As much as it’s a pain in the arse you just have to keep busy , as when you’re busy you aren’t thinking about cancer. Music is very key to me. Earbuds in and phone in pocket listening to New Order and albums that I’ve missed. A new hobby flying 1.5 metre wingspan model airplanes. I’m the lollipop man at the school I used to be caretaker. I’m 7 1/2 yrs now with T4 and it’s been so long the fear has slightly gone. It’s still there in massively dark days but mostly I try to enjoy the time I have. Keep strong brother and fellow warrior. It’s a bad time of the year. If you want to talk then message me 👍
User
Posted 31 Dec 2022 at 02:45

Hi John,


Another way of looking at it is that we’re all dying? I don’t have prostate cancer or any other that I’m aware, but I could have 🤷🏻‍♀️ (not the PCa of course). I have no idea when my day will come just as most on here don’t, so we all have to keep doing what we’ve always done and live our lives to the best of our ability and enjoy every moment possible. 

I’ve had many days where I’ve been in a dark place about losing my husband, but the reality is anything could happen to me before that time….so I have to not worry so much and make the most of all the time we have together.


I really do wish you many more better days ahead in 2023. 

User
Posted 31 Dec 2022 at 14:35

Chris, your response to Johns post is arguably the wisest and most empathetic one he could surely have wished for?. I admire you both for your fortitude and determination, immensely so and wish you both well for the coming year.


Sláinte Mhath.


 


Jamie

Edited by member 31 Dec 2022 at 20:22  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 31 Dec 2022 at 19:01

Hi folks, this is Jeannie 'Barrie's wife'.  I feel for anyone who is feeling low, I really really do.


So far I am lucky, Barrie is generally always positive.  Because of our ages 77/76 we do try to think along the lines 'well we are all dying'.  For people who have a good support network around them this must make it far easier to cope.  I only have Barrie and one son (of course, I now worry for him with this possibly being heredity'.   I sit and look around our home at the 'things' we have bought together over the years and wonder, what the hell, what will I do, what is the point in anything if I am sat here alone.  I can hear people saying, get out, join a club or such like but Barrie and myself personally started a U3A in 2013 what should have been a happy venture, turned out to be misery with back biting committee members believing they were running the government and money was all that mattered. In the last 5 years I have lost my only 3 friends, then since inhumane lockdown and witnessing people turn against other, I have totally lost faith in human nature, I attempted to join one group only to be challenged if I had had the covid vaccine.  What kind of world are we living in.  Are there any wives/partners on here who like me need some support please.


Jeannie

User
Posted 31 Dec 2022 at 19:16

Hi Jeanie we are all in the same boat it is a cruel desease don't lose the faith some fantastic people on here and out there I am struggling myself over Christmas but keep the faith gaz 👍

 
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