Shocked to the core

I am all over the place at the moment and not thinking straight, so in my zeolous thirst for reassurance I thought the other post had been deleted or that I did not do it correctly. Hence I wrote this one, then go the exact same moderator message .

Since then I have not had a chance to sit down.

Your relies have been very helpful

I

Hi John, 

Thanks for the reply and advice, 

I understand now that this is what happens. My problem was that my GP did not describe what I am seeing on here and on other websites.

For a start he said my PSA was very high, and after the DRE, he described what felt was an enlarged prostate which should be smooth and spongy, He said mine felt hardish, he directed me to feel my own palm and the soft skin under my little finger, apparently, that would be normal, but mine was similar to the feeling under my middle finger (again he directed me to feel this) To me this is hard and lumpy.

I know my GP really well and once he examined me his demeanour changed altogether. He began using words like terminal, and told me this was bad and serious. He did not say he suspected I have cancer, he said I have it and he suspects it is going to be bad. 

He was not calm and I walked out of there wishing for all my worth, my wife could have been there. (That's not me at all)

I would have preferred him to tell me that my PSA results were elevated and that my prostate exam had shown abnormalities (I would have  then asked what abnormalities and got the same response, but I may have taken it in more)

It was unhelpful of my GP to talk about advanced and terminal cancer at this stage, he has just placed the fear of God in me, which won't go away till I have my answers. I am nowhere near that yet.
All the good people on here are giving me sound advice, which I find has calmed me down and my wife has banned me from searching google for postate cancer at this stage. She said we will search as we know more.
Pete 

Thanks, Dave, I am keeping my fingers crossed. I was full of anger yesterday and frustration because I have been aware of having an enlarged prostate for some years, 
My GP has never discussed a PSA test even though at 50 my prostate was enlarged a bit, but I was told it was all fine and to do with my age.
I have been back for checks 3 times since the age of 50. Twice the doc said not to worry and gave me pills to help with the waterworks, (NO Bloods) 3rd time Doc said no need to examine me he just changed the pills. TBH he made me feel awkward because I asked him if he needed to examine me. I was told it was unnecessary because I had been seen 18 months previous. Again he did not take bloods.
This time I went about a recent chest infection, to check I am clear as I have Asthma. I was seen by two students, who wanted to take a full history. They asked about my prostate and the pills I take to help me pee
I just happened to mention that the pills were not working as well and I am getting disturbed needing to pee a couple of times at night.
The students went to get my GP to sign off and so my GP said, I probably needed different pills, but to be on the safe side he should check my blood (a full MOT) he called it. 
It's a good job because things were probably missed in the past. 
As Lynn said, it is more likely than not that I have PCa, and it's unlikely to be at an early stage. 
I just have to wait and see.
Pete.

I am still new to all this and even this chatty thing, I am not one for social media or making posts and protestations, I am just a husband and a dad, and my area of expertise is autism and learning disabilities

I thought I was looking after myself by having regular prostate checks, and I was caught out by this overwhelming emotion. I am going to talk to my GP about what happened. He may be unaware, but I need time to calm and think so I will wait until I have a diagnosis

I have to admit I was feeling reassured by the guys on here, I am realising that: as in life, everyone is an individual with their own path to travel

I really could have done without the additional info you chose to share, right now I could be facing that. Sobering ! I feel a bit sick now.

Pete

Hi Pete, I too am not one for social media, this is the only social media account I have. This group is naturally biased towards people with unusual problems. The "normal" people just get diagnosed treated and move on, if they join this group they leave after a year or two when everything is ok. The people with on going problems remain, so this group is heavily biased towards the unusual prostate cancer cases. Lyn has been on this group over ten years so she remembers these exceptionally unfortunate people, but they are in no way representative of the majority of cases. 

At the moment you can only go with the tiny bit of information available to you, and statistics based on that information, "what if"s are pointless. The very few figures we have about you can be fed into a formula (called a nomogram) and they give you various survival rates for a number of years.

I was really surprised when I found out the prostate cancer specific survival rate in the first year is 101.6% . I though that is impossible! But what it means is that you have more chance of dying in the next year from something other than prostate cancer. So pay attention when you walk across the road tomorrow, that bus is more likely to kill you than prostate cancer.

Neither, me, Lyn, or your GP know anything other than your PSA of 7.9 which on its own gives you a 40% chance of having cancer, your age which gives you a 60% chance of having cancer, and the DRE which does suggest quite a high chance of cancer, but not that it is anything beyond locally advanced which is curable.

Now if you live in perpetual fear of being run over by buses, then you should worry a lot about prostate cancer, but if you have managed to come to terms with daily living, and are not petrified to step out of the door, then worry no more about prostate cancer until a urologist tells you you have something to worry about.

Apologies if you suffer from trocophobia.

Edited by member 15 Nov 2021 at 09:31  | Reason: Not specified

Hi Pete,

just another voice to add what has been well expressed here. Although it may feel alarming that you have been put on a fast path, it's good that you have been given that level of attention. As has been said, it will soon slow down and you will need to get used to things edging forward in 2 or 3 week cycles. What seems to be a whirlwind right now will start to feel glacial.

My PSA was 17.9 at the start of my trip down PCa Lane, and after 18  months I still don't have a satisfactory treatment plan for various reasons. But its not the end of the world. Life doesn't end with diagnosis. I have just done my first 2 marathons, in 3 weeks: not fast, not pretty, but still up and kicking at the end of it.   

Best of luck- but the odds are that you won't need it! 

On Friday, the urologist may do a digital examination and you could be asked to do some bladder function tests - measuring how strong your flow is. They are supposed to talk you through the risks and benefits of going through the diagnostic tests and then some hospitals would do the MRI there and then while others will send you another appointment for that.

Best wishes,

Chris

Thanks, Dave, I am actually dreading the MRI result. even though my urologist seemed optimistic, and Shelagh, my better half, assures me that if there is something it is unlikely to have spread,
The Doc did not talk about catheterisation,  she spoke a little about pills to shrink the prostate or some surgical options, although they have not yet fully been explained.
Thanks for all your support
Pete.

Edited by member 29 Nov 2021 at 09:33  | Reason: moderator asked me to ananomise dr