- Bucket (to stand the night bag in)

- waterproof sheet (Dunelm do a soft feel one) or puppy training pads for when the catheter comes out

- tracksuit bottoms / joggers = preferably in sweatshirt material with a drawstring waist & in a dark colour - M&S sell them

- pants (proper ones, not boxer shorts) one size larger than he usually wears - penis and scrotum may be very swollen afterwards so the additional support will be welcome

- clarify whether the hospital will provide local anaesthetic gel for the eye of his penis; the catheter tube can rub. If they don't provide, buy from pharmacy before he goes in for op

- a couple of packs of men's incontinence pads - Tena for men are often on BOGOF at most supermarkets. Don't buy loads yet because it may turn out he doesn't need them or that your local district nursing team will provide

Whether or not he can drink at christmas will depend somewhat on how incontinent he is - if everything he downs comes straight out the other end, he isn't going to enjoy it much. If he is dry post-op, he may just find that alcohol impedes his control a little bit and so drinking at home seems fine but he doesn't want to go out to a pub. Having said that, he is unlikely to be going out anywhere over Christmas for more than a short walk or visit.

Hi Robot A,

I was over the moon to get a fast date which was the 16th December 2016.   I wrote off Christmas that year.   Not that we ever do that much at Christmas anyway and don't have visitors.  Although we did visit other people over the period even though I had a catheter and urine bag strapped to my leg.  I just sat there.  had a cup of coffee a chat and left, and no-one knew as far as I know.

He should be wearing pads by then and if he bought a big full underwear one and wears baggy pants he might get away with drinking a bit moer.   Although I wouldn't.  Leakage starts and you don't know it's happening until the pad is full and it's dripping down your leg and you might squelch.  You get an idea that the pad suddenly weighs quite a bit more.   All this amused me at the time although we all have our sense of humour.

Lyn has covered a list of needs although I was glad I took some earplugs as there was a big snorer in the ward.  As well as various beeping machines.   I think I only made sure I had a dressing gown.  Although a stock of sandwiches would have been good as the food was awful and I didn't read any of the mags I bought.   Two nights in the hospital and out.  If it hadn't been for the pelvic blood drain I'd have left earlier but it was still leaking quite a bit 24hrs later.

I assume he's had a pre-op.  I was offered a date with only 8 days notice and the pre-op was 5 days before the op.  The MRSA check needed 5 days if I failed.  Fortunately I didn't.

I did a biggish write up of it on the link below.  You'll need to go to page 2 for the 'day of op'.

https://sites.google.com/site/myprostateprobleminlancashire/

All the best, Peter

Edited by member 30 Nov 2021 at 16:32  | Reason: Not specified

I am now about 13 weeks post RARP

I was surprised at the amount of swelling of scrotum! Certainly meant that any thought of sleeping on my side was out of the question. Definitely flat on back propped up was most comfortable.

When sitting for a while (TV in evening say) I found taking the bag off my leg and using a night stand meant I could raise my legs with the bag on the floor

If you do not have extra thigh straps look at this site https://www.greatbearhealthcare.co.uk/products/leg-bag-straps-and-holders/

They will send you free samples very quickly. Note you can ask for more than one type I got three extra sent Large, medium and adjustable. These are great and having spares means you can shower and replace with dry straps. I took the bottom strap off when showering so only one gets wet.

It takes a little getting used to but I found the catheter not too bad and although it sounds a longtime at first the time with catheter soon passes. Once removed make sure the pelvic floor exercises are done religiously - they make a big difference and I am sure the reason I was dry very quickly.

The NHS pads supplied do a job but large not comfortable. I found Tena2 were ample once catheter removed - but everyone different so don’t buy lots until you know what is definitely needed.

Whatever you do do not overdo the exercise - build up slowly

Hope all goes well.

Also I was told atleast walk briskly half hour per day in the week before opp. I had six weeks so started then, also on day of op. I got up at 4am to get that in but was doing more like an hour. I haven't heard anyone else mention this though.

After opp had to walk 25 laps of corridor prior to discharge the following lunchtime. Not easy but worth it to get bowels going.

I had a 1 hour taxi journey then short flight to get home three days post opp. The taxi journey was awful. You need a very smooth considerate driver. Flight was fine.

Good luck with op and recovery

Cheers

Bill

best of luck for the surgery.

Lyn has most bases covered here I think.

On the trouser front I found these from Amazon really good ‘

Canterbury Men's Open Hem Stadium Pants’

it was a tip from another patient and really saved my bacon a few times as I could access and service the catheter bag via the full length zip which was a godsend. Could pretty much empty it anywhere in seconds. Plus they are nice and warm for winter. 

im a boxer shorts wears but I got supportive pants post surgery as they hold everything in place with the catheter.

Cheers

simon

You have already taken the single most valuable step - reaching out (how I hate that Americanism but, in this instance, it seems entirely appropriate) to those who have already trodden this path. The PCUK website is undoubtedly the most comprehensive source of factual information for anyone embarking upon this journey, but the moral support and practical advice offered by members of this community, based upon their personal experience, is pure gold dust!

I am a 72-year-old widower, sadly without the support of my life partner, and have found decision-making regarding treatment options particularly difficult. However much research one may undertake, each patient journey, whilst perhaps not altogether unique, is impossible to foresee in detail: hospital pre-op and discharge information, however comprehensive, cannot encompass every eventuality. And few who compile such information will actually have been on the receiving end!

I am now 8 days post-RARP, performed at a teaching hospital a considerable distance from where I live. The process was pretty slick, I have to say, but not without its traps for the unwary.  There were three patients from the same operating list in our 4-bed ward bay, which proved rather fortunate: the nursing staff, whilst unfailingly courteous and attentive, were somewhat difficult to understand: fortunately, as we were each able to overhear the discharge instructions offered to our two colleagues, we were subsequently able to derive a consensus interpretation about which we were all reasonably confident.

We were all released back into the wild the day following surgery. We were never able to discover why one of us was given an appointment to return for TWOC after a week, another after 10 days and myself after two weeks. Which brings me to my FIRST PIECE OF ADVICE: check that your partner is discharged with plumbing supplies sufficient to last until his catheter is removed. I was initially given only 10 single-use night bags (no drain tap, so impossible to re-use) for a 14-day period. Policies vary regarding the provision of incontinence disposables: a friend who lives 3 miles from me, but in a different county, had been discharged from hospital with more pads and pants than he knew what to do with, whilst I was merely directed to the nearest Tesco (out of stock, sadly!). A  degree of leakage around the catheter appears to be inevitable, so do ensure that your partner takes some pads into hospital with him: it is so undignified to find oneself leaving evidence of one's presence along the hospital corridor or, in my case, on the taxi floor!

My SECOND PIECE OF ADVICE is to be prepared for the unexpected, that which nobody has warned you about, and ensure that you are clear as to whom to contact 24/7 when it arises; should you be advised, as was I, that your first port of call should be the District Nursing service, try not to laugh but insist upon being given the telephone number of an Urology Nurse Specialist or, if they work only 9-5, the Urology Ward which, in these uncertain times, may not the ward used for "green" elective surgical cases.

In my case, the first such event arose 3 days post-op, and took the form of frequent (at 3-minute intervals), painful badder spasms, accompanied by gross haematuria. No, nothing in my copious information pack about bladder spasms and, yes, it was late on a Friday afternoon!  Three different voicemail greetings, promising a return call the following Monday morning, seemed of rather limited value. Fortunately, the GP Out-of-Hours service was eventually able to reassure me that I wasn't about to exsanguinate, and to advise that I should attend A&E at the hospital where the operation had been performed (far easier said than done!) if the issue hadn't resolved within a couple of days (which, after passing a large blood clot the following day, it did).

Today, my wound pain having more or less settled, I have been experiencing marked perineal pain such that I am far more comfortable standing than sitting, together with a feeling of having been kicked in the goolies by a large horse. Once again, no mention of this in my voluminous information pack, but a quick review of this forum was sufficient to reassure me that this was not an unusual phenomenon (albeit, it seems, one that I may need to get used to for a while).

Best wishes to your man!

David