Originally Posted by: Online Community MemberHow come I have a woman answering me? What do you know of men's problems? I thought I was being subtle. Okay in the vernacular, difficulty getting an erection and semen flowing into the bladder and a shudder replacing an orgasm. All of which leaves me frustrated.and feeling suicidal.
"...there are organisations that can help you." Yes, which?
I find this rude, notwithstanding you are a new comer, Would you say the same to a female doctor about a male problem? Lyn has been closely associated with 3 family men who had/have PCa, one of which is her husband and also is one of the longest current posters with probably the a widest knowledge of PCa, it's treatment and effects on men, so I suggest you apologise for your ill considered retort.
Semen flowing into the bladder on ejaculation is something that many men have after treatment to the Prostate as well as difficulty in obtaining an erection. Unfortunately, these are treatment risks one has to accept and live with the consequences. Surprisingly, some men find that their sexual experience is enhanced by retrograde ejaculation whilst others find the opposite. There are mechanical pumps to help erections and also different chemicals that can be prescribed and these can work to varying extent so worth trying. Your GP should be able to help.
However, from what you say it seems that the problems in your case are impacting you mentally to such an extent that you require counselling and a good place to start would be with your GP who should be able to refer you. So this may well fall outside what members are able to help you with.
Barry |
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PS they might look like a fan club but believe me, if I said something that they didn't agree with, I would soon be put in my place 😉 We are just a group of people living with the the impact of prostate problems and trying to support each other - stick with us!
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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Let's stick with the purpose of the thread - Dacia has searched unsuccessfully for help and advice and has come to us feeling sad and desperate - he really doesn't need a tongue lashing.
I know that we have members who have had TURP and also lots of experience of retrograde ejaculation and the emotional impact of ED so hopefully there will be some help we can offer?
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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The TURP is unlikely to cause a heightened and constant sex drive. However, the flomax could have been damping down your natural urges and stopping the tablets (plus solving the pain issue) and so the op has just allowed your natural feelings to come back to the fore.
If the unhealthy thoughts are of illegal or immoral sex, that is not okay and cannot be explained by your prostate treatment but there are organisations that can help you.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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How come I have a woman answering me? What do you know of men's problems? I thought I was being subtle. Okay in the vernacular, difficulty getting an erection and semen flowing into the bladder and a shudder replacing an orgasm. All of which leaves me frustrated.and feeling suicidal.
"...there are organisations that can help you." Yes, which?
User
Because Lyn has been here a long time and knows lots!
have a good day.
User
Originally Posted by: Online Community Member Okay in the vernacular, difficulty getting an erection and semen flowing into the bladder and a shudder replacing an orgasm. All of which leaves me frustrated.and feeling suicidal.
Sorry to see that. My husband says that is known as retrograde ejaculated and you should really ask for a referral back to urology for a check up.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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User
Originally Posted by: Online Community MemberHow come I have a woman answering me? What do you know of men's problems? I thought I was being subtle. Okay in the vernacular, difficulty getting an erection and semen flowing into the bladder and a shudder replacing an orgasm. All of which leaves me frustrated.and feeling suicidal.
"...there are organisations that can help you." Yes, which?
I find this rude, notwithstanding you are a new comer, Would you say the same to a female doctor about a male problem? Lyn has been closely associated with 3 family men who had/have PCa, one of which is her husband and also is one of the longest current posters with probably the a widest knowledge of PCa, it's treatment and effects on men, so I suggest you apologise for your ill considered retort.
Semen flowing into the bladder on ejaculation is something that many men have after treatment to the Prostate as well as difficulty in obtaining an erection. Unfortunately, these are treatment risks one has to accept and live with the consequences. Surprisingly, some men find that their sexual experience is enhanced by retrograde ejaculation whilst others find the opposite. There are mechanical pumps to help erections and also different chemicals that can be prescribed and these can work to varying extent so worth trying. Your GP should be able to help.
However, from what you say it seems that the problems in your case are impacting you mentally to such an extent that you require counselling and a good place to start would be with your GP who should be able to refer you. So this may well fall outside what members are able to help you with.
Barry |
User
Absolutely no apology needed. When feeling anxious and desperate, it is perhaps a shock to ask a question of what you imagine to be a group of men and find a bloody woman responding! As it happens, there are quite a few female members here - mostly wives / partners wanting to support their menfolk or daughters wanting to help their dads.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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Well said Barry, Lyn is very knowledgeable and you should appreciate her taking time to respond to you, just like the rest of us do.
User
she's more of a man than any of us.
Anyway, Dacia, I suspect none of us can put ourselves exactly in your shoes. The only thing I can say is that when I was on hormone therapy HT (common with cancer treatment), but also known as chemical castration, I had no sex drive. When testosterone returned it went through the roof.
I can't see any relation between the TURP and testosterone. I think you should get a testosterone test either from your GP or privately from a pharmacy. If it is above normal that may be the cause of the psychological problems and maybe if that is the cause it can be treated.
If your testosterone is normal, then maybe you have to get in discussions with a psychologist, I have no idea if prescribing HT for high libido is permitted or appropriate.
Edited by member 29 Dec 2021 at 05:09
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I disagree Lyn, I should apologise and I do. It would appear I should not be on this website after all, not because of the rebukes I have received (I can easily handle the members of your fan club), but because it is not going to help me. After many months of searching the Internet I think this old man of 75 was looking for a magic bullet. And when you replied with, what I considered to be a negative response (no magic bullet) I lashed out at you. That was wrong of me and once again I offer my apology.
User
I don't know of another forum for men with problems caused by BPH (enlarged prostate) which is why PCUK added a section to this community board. It is a few years since you had your TURP and I do think it would be a good idea for you to ask for a referral back to urology. If you are having problems having intercourse or achieving an orgasm, it isn't surprising that you think about it more or feel frustrated. My husband wasn't that into sex until he got prostate cancer and then was left with erectile dysfunction - now he wants sex all the time and is hurt that I am not so enthusiastic about trying and failing.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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PS they might look like a fan club but believe me, if I said something that they didn't agree with, I would soon be put in my place 😉 We are just a group of people living with the the impact of prostate problems and trying to support each other - stick with us!
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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User
Well that's better. Many of us here who have been affected by PCa have ranted at some time about some aspect or another of our PCa journey and this is understood but have not got personal with somebody trying to help. In fairness to you, you did say you were not sure you were on the right forum and I am genuinely sorry that we were not able to help you although even in making an apology you couldn't resist a sarcastic remark about 'fan club'. And by the way everybody here brings something to the table and many thanks have been received by so many people but PCa is a complex subject where there is always something to learn.
I am on several forums for different things and from long experience suggest that if you do try another, you don't start off by personally questioning what somebody has said in trying to be helpful even if that proves not to be of great help.
Barry |
User
Hi Dacia,
I joined the site 5 years ago after being diagnosed with prostate cancer and Lyn was one of the first to help and support me on my Journey.
Maybe read the site and members journey in more depth before making comments.
John.
User
This is not our Matron’s “fan club”, and she is not a ‘woman’ but ‘a person who menstruated’, to use the common parlance.
She is perhaps the most erudite lay person with a vast knowledge of urology you will ever encounter. Your bumptious attitude at the start is forgiven, but you would do well to persist with this site and moderate your comments in future.
Best of luck.
Cheers, John.
User
Anything is possible on the internet. The person we know as Lyn, may be a teenage boy, living in the hood in Los Angeles, a member of the British royal family (not prince Andrew he seems to have left), a pseudonym for a group of Russian hackers. She may be an artificial intelligence learning how to interact with normal people (that ain't going to end well), or even the real assassin of JFK.
Edited by member 29 Dec 2021 at 13:31
| Reason: Not specified
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Let's stick with the purpose of the thread - Dacia has searched unsuccessfully for help and advice and has come to us feeling sad and desperate - he really doesn't need a tongue lashing.
I know that we have members who have had TURP and also lots of experience of retrograde ejaculation and the emotional impact of ED so hopefully there will be some help we can offer?
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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User
That's me, Lyn. TURP in 2016 (when as an unexpected benefit, my PCa was first discovered, leading to AS and subsequently my RALP 7 weeks ago) . I was pre-warned about ED and retrograde ejaculation. To be honest, the latter tidied up what was sometimes a messy interlude. As for the ED well, I'm the same age as Dacia and considered that I had had a decent innings. All parts wear out eventually. And the upside? No more pain when urinating. No more stop/start. No more embarrassment at not being able to start at all when other guys were waiting behind me for the urinal. No more spilling the last, unexpected drop as I was putting the Old Chap away. I had forgotten what it was like to be normal. And whilst I can't speak for others, I pee far more often than I ever had sex. Dacia, you may get your function back but in the meantime, count your blessings for what you have had and that the skills and procedures are available to help with the inevitable problems that accompany advancing age. I wish you well.
User
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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User
[...] Anything is possible on the internet. A contributor may be a teenage boy, living in the hood in Los Angeles, a member of the British royal family (not prince Andrew he seems to have left), a pseudonym for a group of Russian hackers. She or he may be an artificial intelligence learning how to interact with normal people (that ain't going to end well), or even the real assassin of JFK [...]
Exactly, Dave64diag2018, one never knows to whom one is speaking on these forums. However, I feel the strong odour of kitty litter permeating this forum betrays many of these contributors, you and I and of course Lyn excepted.
The great, great, grandson of Jack the Ripper masquerading as Dacia.
Edited by member 30 Dec 2021 at 07:47
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