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Sleepless nights and anxiety

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 00:34

Hi, diagnosed in September 2021 advanced metastatic  and started immediately on Decapeptyl 6 monthly and Enzalutamide daily. Still coming to terms with it if I’m honest. Am 60 years old and had many many plans going forward but now difficult to look even beyond 6 months. Is this unusual? 

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 00:34

Hi, diagnosed in September 2021 advanced metastatic  and started immediately on Decapeptyl 6 monthly and Enzalutamide daily. Still coming to terms with it if I’m honest. Am 60 years old and had many many plans going forward but now difficult to look even beyond 6 months. Is this unusual? 

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 07:44
Perfectly normal reaction, the important thing is to keep planning and even more important "doing".

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 07:54

Loads that can be done nowadays keep moving forward  👍

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 09:32

Steve, we have plenty of men on here who have lived more than 10 years after a metastatic diagnosis, and a few who have still been here and living a good life at 15 years plus.


Have you had independent financial advice? Considering your age, it might be wise to review your pension options, release capital, there may be pension enhancements due to your diagnosis, also whether you have things like critical illness cover. My husband was 50 at diagnosis but at 59, the financial advice was that since he is unlikely to live into his 80s, he would be unlikely to get the full benefit of his pension by waiting and it made more sense to draw down the 25% tax free lump sum and have some fun! 

Edited by member 09 Feb 2022 at 14:44  | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 07:44
Perfectly normal reaction, the important thing is to keep planning and even more important "doing".

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 07:54

Loads that can be done nowadays keep moving forward  👍

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 09:32

Steve, we have plenty of men on here who have lived more than 10 years after a metastatic diagnosis, and a few who have still been here and living a good life at 15 years plus.


Have you had independent financial advice? Considering your age, it might be wise to review your pension options, release capital, there may be pension enhancements due to your diagnosis, also whether you have things like critical illness cover. My husband was 50 at diagnosis but at 59, the financial advice was that since he is unlikely to live into his 80s, he would be unlikely to get the full benefit of his pension by waiting and it made more sense to draw down the 25% tax free lump sum and have some fun! 

Edited by member 09 Feb 2022 at 14:44  | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 09:50

Hi Lyn, thank you, really appreciate your words. Luckily have worked in Financial Services my whole career so am in a good place there and plan on making the most of it. 

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 13:37

Hi Steve,


My husband was diagnosed with advanced 7 months ago….it so difficult to explain the feeling but I genuinely thought that was it and I’d be without him by Christmas. Couldn’t sleep, eat and just about functioned the first week. Things did get better as we found out more and started to get a plan and we realised that there was so much that could be done. We were really fortunate that our second opinion actually downgraded him to locally advanced (see my profile) and other treatment became available.


It’s certainly not been an easy time but we’ve still been continuing to do really nice things and getting on with life.


My OH still struggles to sleep but think that is often to do with HT, he gets hot flushes through the night which seem to wake him up.


I tell him now that he’s just in the same situation as everyone else, none of us know what’s around the corner so we continue living and loving life for as long as we can.


Wishing you all the very best

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 13:43

Thank you Elaine, hot flushes can be an issue but anxiety is the biggest inhibitor as my imagination runs riot. I start counselling on Friday so hoping that will give me tools to address this.

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 13:54

I’m sure that will really help Steve, it is such a good idea to talk about how you’re feeling. I called in at my local Maggie’s centre yesterday (not sure if they have one near you?) they had a mens group on a Tuesday…all were welcome just to go and chat about their situation or just about football etc. It just seemed a good idea to be around people who would really understand what you’re going through.

User
Posted 09 Feb 2022 at 16:42
Thank you Will check. Really appreciate you all taking the time.
 
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