Radiation vs surgery for receptive sex

Hi Paul,

I had decided for RP on April 2018 and after 6 months I was starting receptive sex. I needed to get used to be more just one type of profile in sex, but it has become better over time and I can say now I like more now receptive sex than before. So surgery didn't affect in any way, on the contrary.

However the progression of the disease wasn't as nice as I had expected, so I had salvage radiation already last year in August and I had to get used to sex again. If I may say so, for exclusive receptive persons, RP is better in my view, as I am feeling much more comfort with this type of sex and even better pleasure than before surgery. As for sex after RT, we need to lubricate the area more, but also good. As it is still early after RT, I guess, it will get better still.

I would gladly speak more about this, but I rather do it in private messages if you don't mind. If you want to continue the conversation send me a message. I will gladly share more :-)

I wish you the best of luck.

Paulo

Thank you everyone for your really useful comments. Personally, I am leaning much more towards radiotherapy as I am still quite young and the surgeon told me that in my case ED would be a big deal and ED meds will not help a great deal. I also don't really want to go under the knife and have the long recovery period. Plus there is the climacturia. I am also at fairly high risk of microscopic metastatic disease spread and the radiation oncologist tells me that RT takes wider margins and reduces my chances of spread where as 30% of patients that have undergone RP end up with some RT within a few years of surgery.

Concerned about the effect this will all have on my rectum as a receptive partner in anal sex, but the stats are quit good and everyone is different, so no real way of knowing. Erections should also be better (initially) and although have a chance of dysfunction 5-10 years after RT, ED meds can help.

If any bottoms out there had RT as first line treatment, I'd really be keen to hear from you. I am so happy to hear that many of you are enjoying receptive sex post RP - that's amazing!

Do feel free to message me privately but as a new member, I cannot reply for a bit, it seems!

Take care and greetings from Christchurch, New Zealand x

There is also an excellent Facebook group "Prostate Cancer and Gay, Bisexual Men & Transgender Women" that is getting progressively more open about intimate matters at https://www.facebook.com/groups/prostatecanerandgaymen

Also, my personal answer to your question is as follows. I had Robotic Assisted Radical Prostatectomy surgery nearly two years ago. I don't have a male partner but lots of receptive anal play. It took me almost exactly 100 days to want to receive any more than a fingertip. When I did, it was a roughly human-sized toy, and it felt great. Since then I have found I really enjoy receiving penetration. It doesn't hurt and I don't feel it is a risk to my physical health. From a sexual perspective it is - how shall I say it? - almost as nice as before. In other words, still feels great, but definitely having a prostate added to the overall pleasure. And also my nature has also shifted more towards receiving, so at a deep level it is sometimes more satisfying than before.

I am learning to live with - and be grateful for - my new normal, and still being able to have orgasmic and loving sex.