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Recovery, stress and "survivor's guilt"

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User
Posted 04 May 2022 at 17:08

I hesitate to post this as, compared to many others here, I know how lucky I've been.


I was diagnosed last August (aged 58, Gleason 3+4, symptomless) as a result of family history (it took my dad from us in 2008, and my elder brother has it too). Eventually I opted for RALP which I had in November.


The lucky bit? No incontinence or erectile dysfunction, and no other side effects, Ever since the catheter came out, things just went back to normal. I say that because think it's important that men considering their treatment options know this is possible.


So what's my problem? I've recently undergone my 2nd post-op PSA test. The wait for results was dreadful. It brought back all of last year's trauma of waiting for multiple PSA test results, then MRI and then the biopsy. And finally getting the diagnosis, received over a very dodgey Zoom connection and a total shock. (I'd convinced myself it would be negative).


Like the last PSA test, the recent result was <0.1, so physically all is good. And yet I'm now suffering with bad anxiety and flashbacks to that Zoom consultation.  And I'm beating myself up about it as I should just be grateful.


But I guess having cancer is just stressful and can take time to come to terms with, even if the outcome is good.

User
Posted 04 May 2022 at 20:51

Hi Steve,


I do understand your feelings because once you are on the treadmill of prostate cancer it does change your life for ever even when you think you are winning, it is never very far away from your mind between PSA results.


We all try to lift other members hopes but it's not the best outcome  for the high number guys.


All we can do is support each other and help where we can. I am on the good numbers at the moment  but it can all change at any moment so mental stress will remain till the end of my journey ,but always have clean underpants on in case a Bus gets me ,(as My mum Always said) .


Good Luck John .

User
Posted 04 May 2022 at 18:47
You're not along in that, Steve. I'm three and a half years post-RT, so on routine 6-monthly PSA tests. I can put it out of my mind between tests, but the several days wait between having the PSA test and getting the result is a time of major anxiety for me, and it doesn't get any easier. Just something that we have to live with, unfortunately. Some people aren't bothered by it, but I think I always will be. The way our individual brains are wired, I suspect.

All the best,

Chris
User
Posted 04 May 2022 at 19:21

Agreed my sentiments exactly psa 0.01 from 24.9 but no way feel cured every day feeling like a death sentence know I should be grateful but don't feel comfortable 

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User
Posted 04 May 2022 at 18:47
You're not along in that, Steve. I'm three and a half years post-RT, so on routine 6-monthly PSA tests. I can put it out of my mind between tests, but the several days wait between having the PSA test and getting the result is a time of major anxiety for me, and it doesn't get any easier. Just something that we have to live with, unfortunately. Some people aren't bothered by it, but I think I always will be. The way our individual brains are wired, I suspect.

All the best,

Chris
User
Posted 04 May 2022 at 19:21

Agreed my sentiments exactly psa 0.01 from 24.9 but no way feel cured every day feeling like a death sentence know I should be grateful but don't feel comfortable 

User
Posted 04 May 2022 at 20:51

Hi Steve,


I do understand your feelings because once you are on the treadmill of prostate cancer it does change your life for ever even when you think you are winning, it is never very far away from your mind between PSA results.


We all try to lift other members hopes but it's not the best outcome  for the high number guys.


All we can do is support each other and help where we can. I am on the good numbers at the moment  but it can all change at any moment so mental stress will remain till the end of my journey ,but always have clean underpants on in case a Bus gets me ,(as My mum Always said) .


Good Luck John .

 
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