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Worried sick about my husband

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User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 12:48

Hi. I'm new here. My husband has just been told that they highly suspect that he has prostrate cancer. He has a hard and enlarged prostate and his PSA is 120. We have an appointment with the hospital on Tuesday but he has an email that says he has to go in alone. Do you think I am unreasonable to insist on at least waiting with him? Thank you in advance x Lou

User
Posted 24 May 2022 at 13:32
So I was allowed in.... Thank goodness
User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:38

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

I agree, just turn up. Even last year when covid was more prevalent (signs everywhere) I never got turned away from an NHS hospital. We had a private consultation where they said I couldn’t go in. I was really not happy and explained the effect this was all having on my husbands mental health and that he would struggle without me there to support him….and they let me in.

Best of luck 

Thank you so much Elaine. I'm a pretty determined (but polite) woman so I'll go and see how it goes x 

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 13:51
If their covid risk assessment is that patients must attend alone, they are unlikely to change that. He is probably not going to get a formal diagnosis on Tuesday - they will have to do a number of scans and possibly a biopsy so it could be some weeks before you have a full picture. Sadly, since the pandemic, thousands of people have had to attend medical appointments and get bad news unaccompanied - at least your husband is going into this with a fair idea already.

It would be a good idea for you to change your name to something that isn't your real name - we do get the occasional scammer or troll on here :-(

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 13:54

If it weren't for COVID, of course you would be with him, and now that everyone has been jabbed multiple times and lots have been naturally infected once or twice and will definitely be exposed to the virus daily no matter what barriers are put in place, it is hard to argue for continued restrictions. 

The website for my local pub says they are socially distancing and that hasn't been the case for months.

I would just go along and see if anyone turns you away at the door.

Dave

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:10

PW. I had an oncology appointment this week. My appointment letter said attend alone unless you are under 18 or have a full time carer. The notice in the department said only one person was allowed with the patient in the department. The couple who were before us went out of the department and hugged three other family members.

Might be worth a phone call , to the department.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:36

I agree, just turn up. Even last year when covid was more prevalent (signs everywhere) I never got turned away from an NHS hospital. We had a private consultation where they said I couldn’t go in. I was really not happy and explained the effect this was all having on my husbands mental health and that he would struggle without me there to support him….and they let me in.

Best of luck 

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:41
Yes, a referral to urology for possible cancer should be triggered by a PSA of 3.1 or more so his reading of 120 means that he almost certainly has cancer. What they won't be able to say yet is whether it has spread to other parts of his body - on Tuesday, they may do an MRI scan or a bone scan, or they may just do another DRE (finger up the bum) and book him in for scans at a future date. Usually, they would book a biopsy for a couple of weeks after the MRI scan but if the scans show that there is already significant spread, they sometimes don't bother with the biopsy.

As I said, you are unlikely to get a confirmed diagnosis on Tuesday but if they are almost certain that it has spread, they may start him on hormone treatment immediately just to stop it in its tracks.

Although I said that anything over 3.1 is a concern, the highest reading we have ever had on here was 13,000 and our urologist says he once had a patient with a PSA of 160,000 so 120 isn't catastrophic or immediately life threatening.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 17:22

Hi Pete's wife, I fully understand how you feel, when my OH went for his first appointment in December last year I sat outside in the hospital cafeteria waiting for him and the same for the MRI scan, biopsy and bone scan (there I sat in the waiting room). I went into the appointment with him when we saw the urologist, surgeon and oncologist.

Do what you think is the best for both of you.

Wishing you all the very best

 

 

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User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 13:51
If their covid risk assessment is that patients must attend alone, they are unlikely to change that. He is probably not going to get a formal diagnosis on Tuesday - they will have to do a number of scans and possibly a biopsy so it could be some weeks before you have a full picture. Sadly, since the pandemic, thousands of people have had to attend medical appointments and get bad news unaccompanied - at least your husband is going into this with a fair idea already.

It would be a good idea for you to change your name to something that isn't your real name - we do get the occasional scammer or troll on here :-(

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 13:54

If it weren't for COVID, of course you would be with him, and now that everyone has been jabbed multiple times and lots have been naturally infected once or twice and will definitely be exposed to the virus daily no matter what barriers are put in place, it is hard to argue for continued restrictions. 

The website for my local pub says they are socially distancing and that hasn't been the case for months.

I would just go along and see if anyone turns you away at the door.

Dave

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:02

Thank you Dave. We have both been jabbed 3 times so I'm going to risk going x it seems to be a foregone conclusion what the results are it's just how far it has travelled. I really do appreciate having somewhere to get good advice x 

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:10

PW. I had an oncology appointment this week. My appointment letter said attend alone unless you are under 18 or have a full time carer. The notice in the department said only one person was allowed with the patient in the department. The couple who were before us went out of the department and hugged three other family members.

Might be worth a phone call , to the department.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:17

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

might be worth a phone call , to the department.

No never ask in advance, you might not get the answer you want.

Dave

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:33
I think I will just risk it x if you hear about a woman being escorted by security from the hospital....it might be me (just kidding).

One more question is 120 PSA particularly high? Obviously Dr Google isn't that reliable x thanks in advance

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:36

I agree, just turn up. Even last year when covid was more prevalent (signs everywhere) I never got turned away from an NHS hospital. We had a private consultation where they said I couldn’t go in. I was really not happy and explained the effect this was all having on my husbands mental health and that he would struggle without me there to support him….and they let me in.

Best of luck 

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:38

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

I agree, just turn up. Even last year when covid was more prevalent (signs everywhere) I never got turned away from an NHS hospital. We had a private consultation where they said I couldn’t go in. I was really not happy and explained the effect this was all having on my husbands mental health and that he would struggle without me there to support him….and they let me in.

Best of luck 

Thank you so much Elaine. I'm a pretty determined (but polite) woman so I'll go and see how it goes x 

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 14:41
Yes, a referral to urology for possible cancer should be triggered by a PSA of 3.1 or more so his reading of 120 means that he almost certainly has cancer. What they won't be able to say yet is whether it has spread to other parts of his body - on Tuesday, they may do an MRI scan or a bone scan, or they may just do another DRE (finger up the bum) and book him in for scans at a future date. Usually, they would book a biopsy for a couple of weeks after the MRI scan but if the scans show that there is already significant spread, they sometimes don't bother with the biopsy.

As I said, you are unlikely to get a confirmed diagnosis on Tuesday but if they are almost certain that it has spread, they may start him on hormone treatment immediately just to stop it in its tracks.

Although I said that anything over 3.1 is a concern, the highest reading we have ever had on here was 13,000 and our urologist says he once had a patient with a PSA of 160,000 so 120 isn't catastrophic or immediately life threatening.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 17:22

Hi Pete's wife, I fully understand how you feel, when my OH went for his first appointment in December last year I sat outside in the hospital cafeteria waiting for him and the same for the MRI scan, biopsy and bone scan (there I sat in the waiting room). I went into the appointment with him when we saw the urologist, surgeon and oncologist.

Do what you think is the best for both of you.

Wishing you all the very best

 

 

User
Posted 21 May 2022 at 18:07

Thank you so much DW x it's so frightening waiting x x 

User
Posted 24 May 2022 at 13:32
So I was allowed in.... Thank goodness
User
Posted 17 Oct 2022 at 22:23
How is your husband now?
 
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