You are not alone!
I had been looking for anyone else in this same situation – everywhere - as we were told the same thing over and over that most people are dry at night and wet in the day. That was not our experience and we were getting worried. I hope my/our experience can give you some peace.
My hubby (50) had his RALP at the end of Dec 2021. He kegeled constantly from diagnosis in Oct til the operation. He did a session of pre-op biofeed back to make sure he was doing them correctly and started doing them again as soon as the cath came out. The first few days/nights were pretty wet.
As I mention timeframes just so you can calculate, we tracked from the time the cath came out instead of from when the surgery was. A 9 day difference.
At about week 3 (from cath) the days got 90% better – usually 1 pad, occasionally 2, but pretty much dry with the standard bend, sneeze, move weird squirt (and this has only gotten better - at 5 months out now he doesn’t use a daily pad – unexpected sneezes, big belly laughs and too much alcohol can still get a little leaky so he will wear a security pad to work or a night out). I will also say he did have 2 daytime out of the blue, completely random, change your clothing leaks sometime in months 3 to 4 – so those can happen.
But the nights… from the get go… the nights were the worst. He went through 2 to 3 nighttime depends pants and was still waking 2 to 3 times to use the restroom every night.
I started weighing his overnights in the morning to have data to track to see if there was progress happening. And there was a slight improvement, followed by a set back – and repeat. It was still 2 to 3 pants a night. But having that "real" data did help him feel a little calmer about it and let him experiment with things he thought might help.
This pattern went on for what felt like forever. It was really getting him down, it was really getting me down - that he was worried and I couldn’t do anything. He tried not drinking 2 hrs, 3 hrs, 5 hours before bed, he tried no coffee, no tea, different sleeping positions – nothing seemed to make a difference. Dry in the day – soaked all night.
Day 46 after cath (55 days since ralp) at his follow up appt, we hoped for some advice, but his surgeon was no help and actually made it worse by saying “Never heard of that pattern before, it's usually the other way round.” Your mind is already grappling with so much uncertainly and change to have the expert tell you ‘I don’t know that’s weird’ – is not comforting and makes you start to go to darker places. His doc is highly rated and very skilled, but his ego and bedside manner... 0_o. His office has pelvic floor training (we had biofeedback there pre-op) but it was not offered to us post RALP and because of that and what the doc had just said we didn’t feel confident in that PT – so I went on a hunt for something else to help him.
At 59 days since the cath removal (68 since ralp) he went to an independent pelvic floor therapist, who specializes in post-prostectomy therapy in younger men (finding someone who works with pelvic floor issues for men was so hard, it felt like there are so few out there). She has been amazing. She was able to explain to him what had happened internally, in detail with real reasons. She was able to explain how everything he was feeling and experiencing was NORMAL, including the new full bladder signals and leaking and the reason for that and how things will feel and can feel and change as he heals. Hearing he wasn't alone or crazy and the whys was a huge help for him.
He does have a strong pelvic floor muscle and she concluded that his nighttime issue was from him way overdoing the kegals and the muscle being exhausted by night. He told me that she said like any muscle you train have to give it down time. She worked with him on half pressure, light pressure, full pressure, fast and slow exercises and he was told to stop doing them all the time. He was given a limited amount of sets to do daily but to always do a one right before a movement that is a known leak cause.
She was also very strict with his breathing pattern while doing kegals - when you clench/tense you tend to naturally hold your breath - she told him to stop doing that to breathe out while pulling in the kegal. My hubby thinks the relax and breathing were game changers.
At night 65 after the cath removal he had his first dry night. Followed by few nights of wet but much less, down to 1 overnight pant. Night 71 from cath removal (2.5 months from ralp ) was his last wet night (so far). He went a week still wearing night pants but they were dry in the morning. Then he went without and has been without since. He does still wake 1 time a night to use the restroom but not everynight and that seems to be tied to timing of last water before sleeping.
I hope some of this helps, not finding any one else in a similar situation is a very "what's wrong with me" place to be. 4 weeks is early and having dryer days seems to be a good sign. Try to not worry or get down as I am - as we all are - learning that everything about PCa is a lot longer process than you think you think it is.