Age 39 and diagnosed this week

Just said I would post a quick update. The catheter is gone nearly thankfully. The freedom without it is amazing!! 
There is still the incontinence to deal with but it hasn’t been as bad as I thought. Using 3 or 4 pads a day but only small leaks or dribbles mostly due to stress I think. Leaving it too long to go and bending but I think it’s getting better. Using a pull up at night but I have woke up dry every morning. I do wake 2 or 3 times a night for the toilet but I’m just glad there is a feeling there to wake me. I’m sure this will get better in time. 
The old mental state is pretty good this week but it has its ups and downs. I have booked in with a counsellor tomorrow to try and sort that out. 
I have a soft lump over one of my testicles which is giving a bit of pain now and again which I am having checked out on Tuesday. Curious did anyone every come across this? 
other than that pretty good all round. 
I wanted to put the update up Incase anyone was reading this just to let you know it’s not all bad and there may be light at the end of the tunnel after all. Just keep on plugging away one day at a time. 

Hey Dave, Thanks for the welcome.

You are correct mate. Although my consultants constantly told me there is nothing to worry about the word cancer resonates in your head. If you are going to get it this is the one to have. I think every man will arrive at this at some point in their life and awareness is so important. Pre knowing I had anything I never gave it a second thought but every male I know I am now badgering them to make sure they understand this silent time bomb. Don't wait for it to arrive, go looking for it.

I do seem to be texbook in my recovery and hitting benchmarks ahead of expected times. Some people can't believe I was back at work 3 weeks post op although I am working from home mostly. I work in IT so nothing to physical. I do feel exausted by the end of the day but am building up slowley.

I think my biggest move forwards was getting out of the house. After I physically felt better at home post op I did have some mental health issues abd would not leave the house. I think mainly due to having the catheter and being very self aware. I had so many fears and really bad anxiety. I was actually frightened all the time. Of what I could not tell you. Something snapped in me and snapped out of it and started going for short walks. I think went in to town with my wife (she really dragged me there) and had a nice lunch. I then realised there is a world out there and I have just been through this whole operation to enable me to live in it for a long time. Couldn't tie me down after that revelation.

I do consider my self very luck now with regards to side effects. Incontenence was a big worry for me but over the last two weeks I have come along in leaps and bounds and every week is a noted improvement. Although my wife has nick named me Tinkles. People do join these type of forums looking for answers to problems or are crapping them selves after a new diagnosis. I certainly hope I can help reduce somebody's worries or make someone feel a bit better or more positive by sharing my story. I have a strong sense of giving back somehow.

All the best Dave and hope you are making positive progress.

Hello Martin, sorry to hear of your situation.

Although some men never get natural erections back even if full nerve sparing, for the moment, let's assume you do. In that case, natural erections might not be quite as firm as they were, although often still good enough for vaginal intercourse. However, this is where PDE5 inhibitor drugs (Viagra, Cialis, etc) some in very handy. These work in effect by amplifying the erection nerve signals arriving at the penis, and should hopefully be able to counteract any deficiency of losing one side. Also, using a cock ring may be effective, as counterintuitively, they make erections firmer.

There are some things you can do to help improve outcomes in this area. Ask for Tadalafil (unbranded Cialis) to take after the operation as there's a small amount of evidence that it helps with the nerve healing after the op (even if it won't yet give you erections). This could either be 2 x 20mg/week, or 5mg daily low dose. If you can't yet get erections at 8 weeks after the op (most men can't yet at that stage), ask for a pump (technical name Vacuum Erection Device) to do penile rehabilitation, so you can regularly generate erections at least until natural ones return. This will help keep the penis healthy and stretchable, as it needs regular erections in order to keep working. Both the pump and the Tadalafil are a bit of a postcode lottery.

I didn't have this treatment personally, but maybe someone who did can comment too.

Also, start doing Pelvic Floor Exercises now, as that will help your continence afterwards.

There's nothing in your profile about your staging/gleason/PSA. I might have commented further if I knew what these are.

Martin, I was 46 when diagnosed, so a fairly young man.  Not as young as you, of course.

I was T3a and Gleason 7 and was told surgery was the way to go.   The team fully explained that it was highly likely I'd need further treatment at some stage.

Post surgery, I was upgraded to T3b and Gleason 9.

Non nerve sparing.

A year after surgery I had salvage radiotherapy and hormone therapy.

My PSA has been <0.006 for 3 years now.  I have been discharged from oncology 

I use invicorp injections for erections.  Nothing else worked.  I'm having a penile implant on 9th June 

I don't ejaculate but my orgasms are excellent.

My daughter graduates in July and my son on July 2024.  I'll be at both graduations.

I believe I'll see my grandchildren.

There really is hope.  Your treatment has every chance of success.

My thoughts:

Have as much sex as you can before the surgery.  You're going to have a bit of a break

Sperm banking - if you want anymore kids

Don't lose hope.  As unfair as things seem, you have every reason to hope 

First of all Thank you to everyone who replied, I would never normally go on an online forum but I have to say that it has really helped. hearing about other peoples experiences and realising that there can be a sense of normality after all this is over and done with has really helped. Last night was the first night I slept since I found out and feeling a lot more positive today. 

I know there were a few questions that came up in the last few posts and I'll try and answer them now. 

Sperm banking is underway and should be taken care of in the next few weeks.

Just in relation to how it was discovered, it was a routine blood test but not 100% sure why PSA was checked, but in hindsight it was a stroke of luck, it came back a little high at 3, so there were repeated tests carried out and the results remained the same, at that stage I was sent for an MRI and a biopsy based on the result of that. I would never have considered myself to have had symptoms of Prostate cancer as it was something that never crossed my mind, probably due to my age. But the day of my biopsy when the specialist nurse started going through a checklist of symptoms I began to realise I had quiet a few, peeing at night time (3 to 4 times a night which I assumed was probably a result of getting older) stop start during urination, not completely emptying my bladder and urgency to some degree. when its written in black and white in front of me it seems so obvious now!!

I am meeting with a specialist nurse next week for some blood tests prior to spermbanking and on the back of this thread I have lots of questions I can ask about post surgery treatments and rehab, I did meet with her last week but it was 5 minutes after I got my results so I wasn't really thinking clearly and probably wouldn't have remembered the answers anyway

Thanks again to everyone for all the encouraging stories and opening up about your own personal stories. I can see a lot clearer now. As I get through this thing! I hope that I to will be able to offer reassurance and a Kind word to someone in a similar position. 

Ye are a great bunch

Pleased for you that that OP seems to have gone well. You will be much more comfortable with the catheter out. Unfortunately you will have to have PSA tests but if results are good timings between these should be extended.

Jamie