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I need advise how to share my emotions with family

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User
Posted 26 Jul 2022 at 08:21

Hello everyone! What should I start with.. umm I'll try to share with you my story from getting diagnosed to living with prostate cancer. My name is Sam Brown. FAther of a boy Jackson and a beautiful girl Maria. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in the march 2022. It’s very hard to describe my emotions and loved ones when I was diagnosed… especially kid's emotions... Of course we didn’t know any clinics, we would never have thought that this was waiting for one of us. We started reading a lots of articles before about cancer and I was sure I'll get diagnosed. Of course I try not to talk about cancer not to cause even more pain to my family but I know how much they care about me and maybe it's a big mistake to hide my emotions. In june of 2022 I started my treatment via them (not sure is it important) which is still going on. It’s hard to say how I’m feeling now... all the time I feel pain... I feel lonely all the time… I hope I’ll find a bit of support here I just want to share my emotions and just to talk. My friend Max advised me ProstateCancerUK Community and after a few days here I found similar people with similar problems and stories so I feel now not so alone how I was before. I know how imagination works and I understand how loved ones can think about things worse than they really are but I'm still afraid to make them constantly think about it. But the feeling of expecting something bad does not leave me. Autumn is my favourite season and I’m fighting to see it again! How do you share your emotions with your family and do you even share with somebody?? Big hugs to the community here‌‌♥I have read several stories already and I feel this pain, I am sure that everything will be fine if we stick together! Samuel

User
Posted 26 Jul 2022 at 09:48
Hi Sam, sorry you have to be here. One thing you should not feel is lonely with this. There are so many of us in a similar situation and can empathise. I found the nurses here on this site very very helpful to talk to about talking with other people. Also there is good support on the McMillan site. It is hard not to think the worst, depending on the stage of your PCa then the future story can be very positive for many many men.

I am sure others will be along to show that you are not alone.

Take care and don’t be afraid to share your emotions.

Cheers

Michael

User
Posted 26 Jul 2022 at 09:59

Sam , i am sorry you find yourself here . And sorry to read about how you are feeling. I was diagnosed in June and have robotic surgery for prostate removal ( absolutley bricking it tbh) booked for Early September. All other options were taken off the table when i met consultant and oncologist. please contact the specialist nurses on here they can put you in touch with people who have been through the procedures they are fantastic and very knowledgeable. I found this helpful , and very informative although as we know every case is different . I too have gone through all the feelings and thoughts you have mentioned , and still have them most days , it can consume you , try and do things that make you and your family smile , that will help you get through each day , dont get me wrong i do have days of feeling absolute s***, but try to be strong and use this site as much as you can . hope this helps a little 

How is my wife gonna cope ? 

Was i right to tell my children ?

Was that selfish ? 

what do my friends think ? 

what do people at work think ?

wishing you well, stay strong .

colin 

 

Edited by member 26 Jul 2022 at 10:23  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 26 Jul 2022 at 10:58
Hey Sam it’s very very difficult isn’t it. I’m 7 yrs from surgery and now incurable sadly. Only just got round to telling my dear 12 year old boy that I can’t be cured. It was utterly heart wrenching but you can’t hide things like that from a young adult. In fact it’s a mistake to hide anything really as people take 2 plus 2 and make their own number up. My advice is get a councellor if you can. Sadly mine bombed out during Covid and never restarted so I’m struggling too. You can’t burden friends with it all either. Keep talking and vent what you want on here. Someone will always reply
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User
Posted 26 Jul 2022 at 09:48
Hi Sam, sorry you have to be here. One thing you should not feel is lonely with this. There are so many of us in a similar situation and can empathise. I found the nurses here on this site very very helpful to talk to about talking with other people. Also there is good support on the McMillan site. It is hard not to think the worst, depending on the stage of your PCa then the future story can be very positive for many many men.

I am sure others will be along to show that you are not alone.

Take care and don’t be afraid to share your emotions.

Cheers

Michael

User
Posted 26 Jul 2022 at 09:59

Sam , i am sorry you find yourself here . And sorry to read about how you are feeling. I was diagnosed in June and have robotic surgery for prostate removal ( absolutley bricking it tbh) booked for Early September. All other options were taken off the table when i met consultant and oncologist. please contact the specialist nurses on here they can put you in touch with people who have been through the procedures they are fantastic and very knowledgeable. I found this helpful , and very informative although as we know every case is different . I too have gone through all the feelings and thoughts you have mentioned , and still have them most days , it can consume you , try and do things that make you and your family smile , that will help you get through each day , dont get me wrong i do have days of feeling absolute s***, but try to be strong and use this site as much as you can . hope this helps a little 

How is my wife gonna cope ? 

Was i right to tell my children ?

Was that selfish ? 

what do my friends think ? 

what do people at work think ?

wishing you well, stay strong .

colin 

 

Edited by member 26 Jul 2022 at 10:23  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 26 Jul 2022 at 10:58
Hey Sam it’s very very difficult isn’t it. I’m 7 yrs from surgery and now incurable sadly. Only just got round to telling my dear 12 year old boy that I can’t be cured. It was utterly heart wrenching but you can’t hide things like that from a young adult. In fact it’s a mistake to hide anything really as people take 2 plus 2 and make their own number up. My advice is get a councellor if you can. Sadly mine bombed out during Covid and never restarted so I’m struggling too. You can’t burden friends with it all either. Keep talking and vent what you want on here. Someone will always reply
User
Posted 26 Jul 2022 at 12:19
Perhaps I am a cynic but something doesn't seem quite right here. As you are only 39, it would be really interesting to know why you have gone with systemic treatment rather than surgery and why you felt it necessary to go overseas (perhaps you are not based in the UK) ?
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 27 Jul 2022 at 07:48

Please note this forum isn't private. You might want to remove your names from the text of your post. (Your avatar name is private.)

User
Posted 27 Jul 2022 at 09:30

Guys... Thanks everybody for your warm welcome and words of support... I feel everybody's stories and I will try to make your advises real!

User
Posted 27 Jul 2022 at 09:37

Hey! I haven't started my treatment yet maybe it's my bad I I got my point wrong. I meant that I started the preparation procedures, repeated analyzes etc. but generally I'm waiting for surgery. I am from Glasgow but my elder brother Harry is a doctor abroad and he offered me help with my illness in his country. It was especially important for me that he was nearby and he understands all procedures and analyzes better than I do.

 
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