I am so sorry, Highland lass. Has he been referred to either the palliative care team, local hospice or Macmillan? These tend to be far better than oncology or the GP at balancing pain meds - it can be a delicate thing to reduce the pain without the person sleeping all the time. Also, have you been told about applying for PIP on the terminal illness route? The money will help with paying for practical things like night sitters, wheelchair, mobility aids, a proper medical grade bed / air mattress if he needs these things in the coming months. Also, what support do you have - it is important to take care of yourself while you are taking care of others around you?