So currently waiting for a RARP. I have days where life feels normal and days when I feel, for want of a better words, in the dumps. I would imagine even the most stoic of us feel the same.
Like you I am sometimes consumed with 'what ifs'. But try to remember I am on a curative pathway.
Can I suggest you try talking. The Prostatecanceruk nurses are excellent. Macmillan from what I can gather are also excellent. Felt like ringing them a few times myself. Finally have you been assigned a uro-oncology nurse? I have found them to be very reassuring.
Neck and shoulder pain sounds like stress to me. I have read on here that a lot of people go through a phase where every twinge and pain they attribute to cancer. Yep and I do the same.
Finally this forum is extremely informative with lots of friendly support. But remember many of the posters are on a different path to yourself. Try not to get consumed by posts which don't apply.
PS The pelvic floor although not guaranteed to fix your post op incontinence will give you a better chance.