56yo husband having RP BiLat Lymph on 20 Sept 22

Cancer isn't fair - no one deserves to get it.

Your thread title doesn't make clear whether his surgeon is hoping to offer bilateral nerve sparing or whether he requires bilateral lymph node removal - the outcome is likely to be significantly different.

If you haven't already read it it, this thread explains our experience of ED https://community.prostatecanceruk.org/posts/m226323-One-wife-s-story-of-ED#post226323  As you will read, the sooner you help him to achieve an orgasm without an erection, the better (although it is necessary to wait until the catheter is out) for his sense of self. Many men can't imagine that it is possible to orgasm without a hard-on unless you prove it. In the meantime, have lots of sex before the op so you have happy memories if it takes a while to get going again.

Heidi, never give up and have fun finding a solution. My orgasms are out of this world, we have to keep the bedroom windows shut. I was supposedly non nerve sparring but did make a partial recovery, I assume something was left in tact. We mastered the technique of flaccid intercourse and my wife has the knack of getting me just where she wants me.

Thanks Chris 

We've read through your thread. It was very informative. 

We're trying to stay optimistic about the after effects of the surgery and praying that we fall into the lucky category.. and things will work again- albeit differently- but work enough to make him feel somewhat whole again. 

Honestly, I'll take a cancer free love above all else. After that hurdle, maybe I'll find a way to help him through the rest.

I'm so happy to have found this group. Prostate cancer in younger men, or any age I suppose, is a rather lonely place. It's not something that can we can openly chat about with people close to us. It's not like I can just invite my neighbor over for tea and cry for the loss of something so personal, yet, so important. 

Thanks for listening. We will be revisiting your link in about 4-6 weeks, when the doc gives us the "go". 

Heidi

The fact you are on my here asking questions and getting involved probably means you are "wheat".

The male sexual dynamics are almost as interesting as female and it's a minefield of confidence, mutual appreciation and sexual gratification that all feeds back into your relationship.

Im sorry I didn't get to your question sooner.

He was supposed to have both. He ended up with bi lateral lymph nodes removed and they tried to spare the nerve bundles on both sides, but one side suffered damage. We won't know until he's recovered to see what's going to work properly. 

It's been a rough week for my poor hubby 😢 He is type 1 diabetic (pump therapy) and the stress/surgery/medication has his blood sugar on a rollercoaster. The hospital stay was a nightmare and the catheter is making him miserable. He has it for 7 more days (10 total). Hopefully, we'll clear that hurdle and move forward to the next.