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Telling adult children

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User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 18:04

Hi everyone. Was diagnosed last Friday.

Seeing consultant soon, but they’re apparently recommending Active Surveillance. Gleason 6 (3+3). 

Stunned, scared & overwhelmed like most just after diagnosis  

Am dreading telling my adult kids (boy & girl). It will crush them  

Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks,

Birdy  

 

User
Posted 28 Sep 2022 at 16:40
You really don’t have any particularly bad news to break, Birdy. Every man gets prostate cancer if he lives long enough; over half of men your age have it, and every man has it if he lives into his 80s. Most will never know and will never require treatment. Your diagnosis is of the mildest possible form of this inevitable condition. It doesn’t currently require treatment, but the doctors will keep an eye on it, and if treatment is required in the future, you’ll be treated (which is extremely effective) and you’ll get on with your life. No cause for alarm or drama!

All the best,

Chris

User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 20:40
AS , the best way , regular psa tests and keeping notice of things yourself , ok you will be living with cancer and maybe need treatment in the future . As mentioned this cancer is extremely common 1 in 8 men have it , I personally know ( friends ) 8 who have it and various outcomes as /ht rt / removal . The full range .
User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 20:43
Must admit I found it hard to tell my mum who was 87 ,but explained I was going to have treatment ( ht /rt ) to sort it . That was 3 yrs ago
User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 20:49

Birdy, 

Much will depend on your state of mind when you tell them. If you are fearful, then likely you will pass that on. 

Wait until you have spoken with your consultant. You will be better informed and probably of a more settled disposition. 

Peter

User
Posted 28 Sep 2022 at 17:43

Great post Chris calming and informative at a time that is needed for Birdy or anyone else in a similar situation 👍gaz

Edited by member 28 Sep 2022 at 17:56  | Reason: Not specified

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User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 18:23
I think facts are always helpful. Yes, you have been diagnosed with cancer and for some men, it is life-limiting but:

- about 60% of men in their 60s have prostate cancer and most will not die as a result of it

- your grade (G3+3) is the least aggressive grade you can have and most health / sickness policies wouldn't even pay out for your diagnosis

- you don't need any treatment

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 19:48

Thanks very much Lyn. Really appreciate that reply. 

Yes I know if consultant confirms the grading it’s the least aggressive. 

Not sure I have the mental strength to go on AS. 

Gonna have to summon up the courage to tell them soon  

cheers. 

User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 20:40
AS , the best way , regular psa tests and keeping notice of things yourself , ok you will be living with cancer and maybe need treatment in the future . As mentioned this cancer is extremely common 1 in 8 men have it , I personally know ( friends ) 8 who have it and various outcomes as /ht rt / removal . The full range .
User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 20:43
Must admit I found it hard to tell my mum who was 87 ,but explained I was going to have treatment ( ht /rt ) to sort it . That was 3 yrs ago
User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 20:49

Birdy, 

Much will depend on your state of mind when you tell them. If you are fearful, then likely you will pass that on. 

Wait until you have spoken with your consultant. You will be better informed and probably of a more settled disposition. 

Peter

User
Posted 27 Sep 2022 at 23:11

I hadn’t thought of trying not to project fear. Great advice Peter. Cheers. 

User
Posted 28 Sep 2022 at 15:50

I waited until I had learned enough about the disease and treatments and prognosis so I could answer any questions, and by then, I was quite calm about it.

User
Posted 28 Sep 2022 at 16:40
You really don’t have any particularly bad news to break, Birdy. Every man gets prostate cancer if he lives long enough; over half of men your age have it, and every man has it if he lives into his 80s. Most will never know and will never require treatment. Your diagnosis is of the mildest possible form of this inevitable condition. It doesn’t currently require treatment, but the doctors will keep an eye on it, and if treatment is required in the future, you’ll be treated (which is extremely effective) and you’ll get on with your life. No cause for alarm or drama!

All the best,

Chris

User
Posted 28 Sep 2022 at 17:43

Great post Chris calming and informative at a time that is needed for Birdy or anyone else in a similar situation 👍gaz

Edited by member 28 Sep 2022 at 17:56  | Reason: Not specified

 
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