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Intimacy worries

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User
Posted 24 Oct 2022 at 16:50

Since finding out he has PC, my husband and I haven't had sex. This is mainly due being told that testosterone feeds the cancer. Previously we were very active, and he still wakes up with morning wood, though we don't do anything about it. It is just over 6 weeks since his first hormone injection. Are we right or wrong to refrain, while he still can?

 

User
Posted 04 Jan 2023 at 23:42

As stated, he still needs to try having regular erections, "penile physio", even if they aren't particularly exciting.

While on hormone therapy, he should be able to get regular PDE5 inhibitors from the GP (Viagra/Sildenafil, Cialis/Tadalafil, etc) which may help with generating erections. Without libido, he probably still won't be able to have intercourse, but may be able to masturbate. He also will find it much more difficult to orgasm, although that's not required for "penile physio". If the tablets don't work, then regularly using a pump is highly recommended (again, may be available on NHS, but varies by area). If you can get them, it's thought to be worth taking Cialis/Tadalafil even if it doesn't work for erections, as it still helps improve blood flow in the penis and help preserve tissues.

There's no consistent evidence about Testosterone levels after adolescence changing with erections/sex. You can find claims that it raises it, lowers it, or doesn't impact it, and also that abstinence raises it. I would ignore any such claims as they are inconsistent, and any such change is unlikely to have any impact on prostate cancer.

User
Posted 24 Oct 2022 at 17:26
Completely wrong. There is no evidence whatsoever to suggest that having sex is going to make prostate cancer worse. Make the most of it while you can!

Best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 24 Oct 2022 at 17:32
When John was given his diagnosis, the urologist's exact words were "go away, have a holiday and lots of what couples do; you don't know how long it will be before you can do either of those things again."

Not having sex now makes no difference to your situation and could be cause for great regret and resentment in the future.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 24 Oct 2022 at 23:58
Just make the most of your carpentry skills while you can...It might be 2 years before the HT wears off.
User
Posted 25 Oct 2022 at 07:44

Elle, you might want to research what you have been told. I know we say not too Google things and it is sometimes difficult to establish what is true or false. Sexual activity is supposedly good for mental health. There is a lot of studies about how masturbation affects testosterone levels. 

Thanks Chris 

 

User
Posted 04 Jan 2023 at 22:30
Yes it is a real thing known as atrophy. If the penis isn't engorged on a frequent basis, the spongy tissue dies which means that when he does regain his libido, the penis can't engorge with blood and any erection is smaller and difficult to achieve.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 04 Jan 2023 at 22:31
Yes, it really is a thing 🙂. If penile tissue isn't regularly "exercised", it will atrophy. When I had HT, the function was still there, but not the desire. If that's your OH's situation, keep it up regularly (so to speak) desire or not.

Best wishes,

Chris

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User
Posted 24 Oct 2022 at 17:26
Completely wrong. There is no evidence whatsoever to suggest that having sex is going to make prostate cancer worse. Make the most of it while you can!

Best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 24 Oct 2022 at 17:32
When John was given his diagnosis, the urologist's exact words were "go away, have a holiday and lots of what couples do; you don't know how long it will be before you can do either of those things again."

Not having sex now makes no difference to your situation and could be cause for great regret and resentment in the future.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 24 Oct 2022 at 23:58
Just make the most of your carpentry skills while you can...It might be 2 years before the HT wears off.
User
Posted 25 Oct 2022 at 07:44

Elle, you might want to research what you have been told. I know we say not too Google things and it is sometimes difficult to establish what is true or false. Sexual activity is supposedly good for mental health. There is a lot of studies about how masturbation affects testosterone levels. 

Thanks Chris 

 

User
Posted 04 Jan 2023 at 22:18

We did manage to make the most of his 'carpentry skills'. Thanks for the advice. It's been a month since his 2nd prostap3 injection, and his libido in completely gone. He's told me that he occasionally gets partially hard during the night, though he doesn't want to do anything about it, as his last few orgasms were dry & uncomfortable. We still kiss & cuddle & just enjoy the close skin contact of holding each other. I've been going through perimenopause these last few years, and there have been many times when my libido has been zero, so we know how important being physically close is, especially to our mental health. 

I've seen a few comments saying, 'use it or lose it!' So can I ask if this really is a thing? I have googled it, but people's knowledge and advice on here is more valuable.

User
Posted 04 Jan 2023 at 22:30
Yes it is a real thing known as atrophy. If the penis isn't engorged on a frequent basis, the spongy tissue dies which means that when he does regain his libido, the penis can't engorge with blood and any erection is smaller and difficult to achieve.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 04 Jan 2023 at 22:31
Yes, it really is a thing 🙂. If penile tissue isn't regularly "exercised", it will atrophy. When I had HT, the function was still there, but not the desire. If that's your OH's situation, keep it up regularly (so to speak) desire or not.

Best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 04 Jan 2023 at 23:42

As stated, he still needs to try having regular erections, "penile physio", even if they aren't particularly exciting.

While on hormone therapy, he should be able to get regular PDE5 inhibitors from the GP (Viagra/Sildenafil, Cialis/Tadalafil, etc) which may help with generating erections. Without libido, he probably still won't be able to have intercourse, but may be able to masturbate. He also will find it much more difficult to orgasm, although that's not required for "penile physio". If the tablets don't work, then regularly using a pump is highly recommended (again, may be available on NHS, but varies by area). If you can get them, it's thought to be worth taking Cialis/Tadalafil even if it doesn't work for erections, as it still helps improve blood flow in the penis and help preserve tissues.

There's no consistent evidence about Testosterone levels after adolescence changing with erections/sex. You can find claims that it raises it, lowers it, or doesn't impact it, and also that abstinence raises it. I would ignore any such claims as they are inconsistent, and any such change is unlikely to have any impact on prostate cancer.

 
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