He's so sore today, though the swelling is going down. He's also exhausted, as he's been going to the loo every hour since he came home, and says he constantly feels like he needs to pee, though there's only a bit coming out due to how often he's going. He says there's not as much blood in his urine today, but it's still burning.
He told me he heard the nurses talking as they were putting his catheter in, and one said to remove the one that was in, and use a bigger one, as it was clotting ????? Maybe this is why he is so bruised and swollen!?
His emotions are in overdrive too, and he's getting upset over things that wouldn't normally bother him. He's always been a strong person, but now he's worrying about little things, like our eldest son who left for university just after he was diagnosed, though he isn't too far away in Manchester, and also worrying about the impact this is having on our other son, who has just started studying for his GCSE's. Both boys are extremely strong minded, just like he used to be, and are taking everything in their stride. Something else that is playing on his mind, is that he overheard the nurse tell the chap who was in the same room, that the brachytherapy he was about to receive, was being given in a curative capacity, but when she came to speak to him she didn't say much about anything, even though his consultant had previously told us that the treatment he would be receiving would also be being given in a curative capacity. This morning he reluctantly told me that his stay in the hospital had traumatised him, after hearing a man in a different ward, constantly screaming out in pain for all the time he was there, and now he's worrying that that is what the end of his life will be like. He's never been a particularly emotional person, but since the hormone injection, he can't believe what he's feeling. I've suggested he speak to a counsellor, which he's said he'll think about, but I know that's not his thing. For my part, I keep getting waves of anticipatory grief, which knocks me for six, though I do my utmost to not show it. He's suggested to me that maybe I should speak to someone, but he knows that that's not my thing either. The greatest comfort and advice I get, is from reading posts on here.
Edited by member 02 Dec 2022 at 20:53
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