Hi Jandy, sorry to read this. There are a number of things that you can check:
- where is your nearest Maggie's Centre? Often based within the grounds of or near to a hospital, they are havens of peace and support for patients but also for relatives
- you need to know whether palliative care in your area is managed by a hospital team, Macmillan or a local hospice
- if a hospital team, they may not have much to offer partners or family members but tend to be excellent at the practicalities, pain management, home equipment, etc
- Macmillan or your local hospice usually have counsellors and / or social workers who can offer you support & advice
- the counsellor / volunteer / social worker should also be able to help you have the very difficult conversations - where would he like to die, how you feel about that, as well as any financial arrangements that need to be reviewed / updated (such as wills, accounts, home contracts like electricity, water)
- many hospices offer wellbeing programmes, holistic therapies, cancer-safe massage, day centre support, pain clinic as well as drop in services for partners / families
- if not already done so, apply for Attendance Allowance (as your husband is over retirement age) on the terminal illness special rules - you need a medical professional to complete form DS1500. Depending on your age and income, you may also be entitled to Carer's Allowance. PIP / AA is not means tested and its purpose is to help you pay for things that will make your lives easier - equipment for the home, night carers / domiciliary care if he wants to remain at home to the end, etc. Macmillan or the local hospice should be able to help you to apply
- the GP is usually involved in palliative care so phone the GP practice and ask whether they have any support for wives / partners
Edited by member 09 Feb 2023 at 11:45
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