My dad has fallen and fractured his hip

Hi Dave

I obviously understand what you are saying but he just wants to come home to be with my mum

Hi Libby,

As exbus says, the Hospital, palliative care team, and hospice can all help with getting him home. A hospice team can very much deal with looking after someone at home, not just in a hospice. A hospital is not a nice place to be in any circumstances, do your best to get him home.

Now I don't know anything about his medical condition or your mindset at the moment, but from what I can see from your posts, you need to be in the mindset of helping him in the final stages of his life. If you are in that mindset you will be able to make progress towards an inevitable end as comfortably as possible. If you are in a mindset of cure or prolonging life, I think you are fighting a losing battle. Telling someone on an internet forum that they need hospice care for their father is not the easiest, most tactful thing to do, but the reality of posting on a cancer forum is that not all stories are going to end well.

Remember I don't know anything about his situation there may be things that I am missing, so only his medics can give sound advice, at best this forum can just give you opinions from lay people.

Sorry to hear this. My dad, almost 90, did the same a few weeks ago. He doesn't have prostate cancer as far as we know but it turns out he does have osteoporosis. There was some discussion about the merits of operating. They thought there was a 30% chance of not surviving the op and the weeks afterwards. He did go for the op - the alternative was 12 weeks fairly stationary in bed hoping it would heal itself, which would probably become permanently bed bound at that age regardless if it healed or not.

Do you know what they're suggesting for your dad? If bed bound temporarily or permanently, I don't see why that can't be at home with a suitable care package, including a hospital bed, carers, and the other things he's going to need. You need to engage palliative care as already mentioned.

Hi Libby I haven’t been in the situation but have been in the health service for many years.  It should be possible to speak with the team at hospital and make it possible for your Dad to be with your mum at home.  As Lyn above said this may involve hospital social services, OT, Physiotherapy etc but it is worth doing.  People are mentioning Palliative care and one reason for this is the framework for palliative care includes the provisions for being cared for at home and put’s some requirement hospitals to respond to your families needs in a speedy manner in cognisance with these guidelines. Good luck with it and I hope your dad is not in too much pain. 

Best wishes