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Change in personality

User
Posted 06 Mar 2023 at 21:57

Good evening,


my father was diagnosed with advanced PC 3 years ago. The last few months have been difficult as he struggles with the pain - he was hospitalised over Christmas and eventually gave in and started on the morphine. He came out of hospital and struggled at home for a few weeks before the pain got worst and he struggled to get his legs working. He was hospitalised again for a week and is on new pain medication. He has now moved to a hospice and it feels like his personality has changed, I am struggling to cope with his snappy nature- I feel like I can’t do anything right, and it feels like I have already lost my dad. I know this is an awful situation for him and I try not to take it personally- but I find visiting him really difficult. Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation? Can you offer help or ways around this? I am a self confessed daddy’s girl and this is so hard. 

User
Posted 07 Mar 2023 at 00:49

I'm really sorry to hear how things are going for you and your father. Thankfully I have never been in your or his position. Knowing no more about your situation than your one post, I will have to make assumptions, so forgive me if I get things wrong.


I think you and he know that he has not got very long left. It may be weeks or possibly months. I'm going to assume he is a proud man as you say he resisted the offer of morphine. Facing up to his own imminent death and having to accept drugs and watching his own body deteriorating will be very hard for someone who has been proud and independent before. So I can understand why he may be like he is. We have had posts from people where the dieing (partner/parent) becomes abusive and that is not acceptable, particularly when a couple are living together. However you are not living together so you do always have the safety of your own home, and if you have other family and friends for support all the better. 


I think baring in mind the above, you might just have to accept his snappiness, he really hasn't got long left. I don't know how often you are visiting him, don't forget you are entitled to lead your own life so take time for yourself. Talk to the hospice staff about how you are feeling they have probably seen it all before. They may or may not have suggestions, but just talking to them might help you.

Dave

User
Posted 07 Mar 2023 at 21:45

Thank you so much for responding Dave, he is indeed a very proud man, with 22 years service in the Army. I will definitely have a word with the hospice staff. He was only moved to the hospice Monday and have visited every day. Thank you for your advice, this is a journey I did not want to be on, it’s so sad to see my dad becoming so dependent on other people. Emma

User
Posted 07 Mar 2023 at 23:37

Sorry to read this.  Dave makes good points. All I can add really is don't do anything you may regret.  It's so easy to think you didn't do enough or regret something you did later.  On the other hand you can't turn the tide so don't over do it. Peter

 
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