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It’s really hit me today!

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User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 10:10

Hi all

I was diagnosed last Wednesday after a 12 month investigation into what was wrong.
I have other medical conditions that will have masked the PCa I’m sure. I have a form of autoimmune arthritis and some digestive issues (that are as yet unknown, still waiting for a gastro appointment) so the slightly elevated PSA of 3.1 a year ago was put on the back burner as I was told it was normal for my age (54). 

So eventually I got the urology referral, after many months waiting, then the MRI and biopsy, then another 5 weeks before diagnosis and eas finally told last week that it’s Gleason 3+3 T3 N0

I’ve been absolutely fine all week after the “I’m afraid to say….” appointment, reading all that I can, everywhere I can find them and joining in conversations here. It’s been fine and I accepted my fate. 

However, I woke up this morning and it hit me full on in the face! I’ve got cancer. Just that word is enough to shake me to the core. 
I don’t know why it’s hit me so hard today, I guess I’m out of the honeymoon phase. Maybe the shock has worn off and the reality has hit home?

I know my cancer is a low grade and hopefully slow spreading but I just can’t get the T3 part out of my mind. The fact that the little basr*rd has breached the capsule and is getting its grubby little mits on the surrounding tissue. 

I’m leaning toward RP as I really just wanted it out and to leave myself options if it returns but I still haven’t made up my mind as to which treatment to have yet. I’ll be asking the consultant next week what he believes would be best for my particular cancer. Out of interest if you had locally advanced what treatment where you recommended? Or where you left to make the decision?

Things just really feel like they’re getting away from me at this precise moment. I’m just trying to take one day at a time and can’t wait until next Thursdays appointment to discuss the bone scan results. Well, I can wait .. but I can’t .. if you know what I mean. 

Has anybody else had a delayed reaction like this? I really wasn’t too phased when he told me the diagnosis, I think I already knew, but just today … things are a bit … mnerrrrrr! 🫣🥴

Thanks all, wobble over soon I hope 

Take care

Greg. 

User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 10:10

Hi all

I was diagnosed last Wednesday after a 12 month investigation into what was wrong.
I have other medical conditions that will have masked the PCa I’m sure. I have a form of autoimmune arthritis and some digestive issues (that are as yet unknown, still waiting for a gastro appointment) so the slightly elevated PSA of 3.1 a year ago was put on the back burner as I was told it was normal for my age (54). 

So eventually I got the urology referral, after many months waiting, then the MRI and biopsy, then another 5 weeks before diagnosis and eas finally told last week that it’s Gleason 3+3 T3 N0

I’ve been absolutely fine all week after the “I’m afraid to say….” appointment, reading all that I can, everywhere I can find them and joining in conversations here. It’s been fine and I accepted my fate. 

However, I woke up this morning and it hit me full on in the face! I’ve got cancer. Just that word is enough to shake me to the core. 
I don’t know why it’s hit me so hard today, I guess I’m out of the honeymoon phase. Maybe the shock has worn off and the reality has hit home?

I know my cancer is a low grade and hopefully slow spreading but I just can’t get the T3 part out of my mind. The fact that the little basr*rd has breached the capsule and is getting its grubby little mits on the surrounding tissue. 

I’m leaning toward RP as I really just wanted it out and to leave myself options if it returns but I still haven’t made up my mind as to which treatment to have yet. I’ll be asking the consultant next week what he believes would be best for my particular cancer. Out of interest if you had locally advanced what treatment where you recommended? Or where you left to make the decision?

Things just really feel like they’re getting away from me at this precise moment. I’m just trying to take one day at a time and can’t wait until next Thursdays appointment to discuss the bone scan results. Well, I can wait .. but I can’t .. if you know what I mean. 

Has anybody else had a delayed reaction like this? I really wasn’t too phased when he told me the diagnosis, I think I already knew, but just today … things are a bit … mnerrrrrr! 🫣🥴

Thanks all, wobble over soon I hope 

Take care

Greg. 

User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 11:21
Hi Greg. Sorry you are here and the situation you are in. I can totally empathise with the delayed shock you feel and had a similar experience. I think as you go through the process of diagnosis the process itself fills your mind and you don’t think about what is actually happening as such. Then as you say it hits you, you have that label and all the things connected with it.

You will see from reading this site though that there is so much hope and recovery in Prostate cancer and fingers crossed your bone scan is clear and you will be on a curative path. I think it looks that way so far, and I pray it is for you.

In terms of treatment choices I was at a different stage to you and never had those choices to make but there are plenty of folk here who will be able to assist you.

I spoke with one of the nurses on this site in the early days of diagnosis and it was very helpful with the shock I felt. I would recommend doing that.

Good luck and all the best

Cheers

Michael

User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 11:29

Hi Greg

I read your post with sadness and understanding. I know myself how this shock of diagnosis can take it's time to hit you. I got the news that I have PC three weeks ago. Like you it didn't hit me too hard at the time, I guess I couldn't really absorb the news. I was in a state of denial perhaps. If I don't think about it perhaps it will go away etc.

This last week though I have been very wobbly, emotional, the shakes, can't sleep etc. So you are not alone. We travel this difficult road in tandem with others.

I wish you all the best and if you want support then there will no doubt be plenty here from people who are like me new to this unexpected turn of events, and from those who have been there, done that, bought the T shirt.

Also I would like to suggest that if you aren't coping please do consider phoning the Samaritans (phone 116 123 anytime for free). You absolutely do not need to be suicidal to call them and chat to one of their lovely, and well trained, voluteers. I have been a Sam (listening volunteer) for a few years now and will not hesitate to call them when I need to have a chat, a rant, or a cry.

Take care.

Tom

Edited by member 31 Mar 2023 at 15:12  | Reason: typos

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User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 11:21
Hi Greg. Sorry you are here and the situation you are in. I can totally empathise with the delayed shock you feel and had a similar experience. I think as you go through the process of diagnosis the process itself fills your mind and you don’t think about what is actually happening as such. Then as you say it hits you, you have that label and all the things connected with it.

You will see from reading this site though that there is so much hope and recovery in Prostate cancer and fingers crossed your bone scan is clear and you will be on a curative path. I think it looks that way so far, and I pray it is for you.

In terms of treatment choices I was at a different stage to you and never had those choices to make but there are plenty of folk here who will be able to assist you.

I spoke with one of the nurses on this site in the early days of diagnosis and it was very helpful with the shock I felt. I would recommend doing that.

Good luck and all the best

Cheers

Michael

User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 11:29

Hi Greg

I read your post with sadness and understanding. I know myself how this shock of diagnosis can take it's time to hit you. I got the news that I have PC three weeks ago. Like you it didn't hit me too hard at the time, I guess I couldn't really absorb the news. I was in a state of denial perhaps. If I don't think about it perhaps it will go away etc.

This last week though I have been very wobbly, emotional, the shakes, can't sleep etc. So you are not alone. We travel this difficult road in tandem with others.

I wish you all the best and if you want support then there will no doubt be plenty here from people who are like me new to this unexpected turn of events, and from those who have been there, done that, bought the T shirt.

Also I would like to suggest that if you aren't coping please do consider phoning the Samaritans (phone 116 123 anytime for free). You absolutely do not need to be suicidal to call them and chat to one of their lovely, and well trained, voluteers. I have been a Sam (listening volunteer) for a few years now and will not hesitate to call them when I need to have a chat, a rant, or a cry.

Take care.

Tom

Edited by member 31 Mar 2023 at 15:12  | Reason: typos

User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 13:12

Hi Michael and Tom

Thank you very much for your reassurance. 😊 
It definitely is a delayed reaction, as you say, probably as things have calmed down in between appointments and I haven’t decided on a treatment route yet so I feel more in limbo now than I did before. 


I’m really hoping that the bone scan comes back clean and we can start on a curative path asap so I can get back to managing my arthritis. I’ve no real symptoms from the PCa at the moment, probably the least I’ve had all year (they reduced dramatically after the biopsy) .. I imagine as I perhaps also had prostatitis and was on high dose Cipro after the biopsy. 
My arthritis on the other hand is wiping me out at the moment as I’ve had to come off my weekly biological injection because it cannot be taken if there is cancer present in the body. 

I’m trying to tell myself over and over that the absolute main aim of all of this is to be cancer free. The fallout from the treatment is just something that has to be dealt with. It’s not like I can just ignore it, though like you said Tom, a good old male way of fixing things is just to leave them and hope they fix themselves 😂

My plan is to get through the weekend then get to Thursday, go to the hospital and deal with what’s laid in front of me.

I’m seeing a different consultant this time, that’s 3 different ones on each appointment, so maybe I’ll get a new perspective on it this time round.

Thanks again and good luck with your continued journeys 😊👍

cheers

Greg  

 

 

User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 13:16

Hi Greg,
Yes, it comes as a shock to all of us but there is lots of support out there for us. I found the more I talked about it, the more I came to terms with it. At first I couldn’t even listen to, or read anything about cancer. Someone suggested contacting Maggies but I thought ‘it wasn’t for me’. Eventually though my wife talked me into going to my local Maggies Centre in Kirkcaldy and that was the turning point for me. I joined the Men’s Cancer Support Group who meet weekly and can about everything and anything with total freedom. It has completely transformed the way I feel about this disease and I am now happy to discuss any aspect of it. Also the specialist nurses from ProstateCancerUK are wonderful ….just give them a call and get help.

So please don’t suffer in silence, get some help…it’s out there.

All the best,

Derek

 

User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 13:25

Thank you Derek

I think there is a local support group in my nearest town so I think I’ll check it out. 
I’ve got a couple of friends and an uncle who have all been diagnosed in the past 3-6 months and I have chatted with them but sometimes I think it’s easier to talk more openly with “strangers”, at least to begin with, if you know what I mean. 
Everyone here is very open and I really like that, no point beating around the bush is there. 

Is PCa on the rise now or is it just because I’m taking more notice of it? 
It seems everyone I speak to in my circle knows someone who was recently diagnosed. I wonder if there are any official figures released on the amount of cases diagnosed in the UK and worldwide. 

Thank you again and take care 

All the best

Greg. 

User
Posted 31 Mar 2023 at 14:38
 
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