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13 weeks post op

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User
Posted 23 Apr 2023 at 21:54

Hi, i'm now 13 weeks post op and saw my consultant last week who informed me my prostate removal operation was successful and my psa reading was 0.00 and the cancer is gone. To say i am pleased would be an understatement but the reality of the ongoing after effects certainly left me wondering if i had made the right choice.

I have had some very insecure, depressed, anxious days since the operation. I popped in to a local prostate uk group recently and found it very helpfull to be able to sit with other folk and have a good chat, laugh and share stories, experiences and feel some composure come back into moving forward in a more positive way.

I'm keeping up with a healthy diet and drinking tea, water regularly thoughout the day. Night times have fortunately been very good since the op with moderate dribbling through the day, two or three dribbles, sometimes more if out on the bike (last four weeks) for two to three miles each day (fitted suspension post to seat and changed saddle) but feeling a bit more secure using pelvic muscles, excercises.

My consultant has prescribed Cialis tablets as well as me already using the Soma therapy 2 pump so will see if i end up like darth vader or wee willy winky, hey ho :-)

Coming to terms with the new me has been quite eventfull emotionally and my wife has just been so understanding, patient and given me a good kick up the arse when necessary bless her so we've booked some festivals to attend this year, change of scenery, catch up with some friends and chill to some fine music, maybe a couple of beers. A bloody good laugh helps so much so looking forward to moving on with the new normality.

 

Edited by member 05 May 2023 at 20:57  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 23 Apr 2023 at 21:54

Hi, i'm now 13 weeks post op and saw my consultant last week who informed me my prostate removal operation was successful and my psa reading was 0.00 and the cancer is gone. To say i am pleased would be an understatement but the reality of the ongoing after effects certainly left me wondering if i had made the right choice.

I have had some very insecure, depressed, anxious days since the operation. I popped in to a local prostate uk group recently and found it very helpfull to be able to sit with other folk and have a good chat, laugh and share stories, experiences and feel some composure come back into moving forward in a more positive way.

I'm keeping up with a healthy diet and drinking tea, water regularly thoughout the day. Night times have fortunately been very good since the op with moderate dribbling through the day, two or three dribbles, sometimes more if out on the bike (last four weeks) for two to three miles each day (fitted suspension post to seat and changed saddle) but feeling a bit more secure using pelvic muscles, excercises.

My consultant has prescribed Cialis tablets as well as me already using the Soma therapy 2 pump so will see if i end up like darth vader or wee willy winky, hey ho :-)

Coming to terms with the new me has been quite eventfull emotionally and my wife has just been so understanding, patient and given me a good kick up the arse when necessary bless her so we've booked some festivals to attend this year, change of scenery, catch up with some friends and chill to some fine music, maybe a couple of beers. A bloody good laugh helps so much so looking forward to moving on with the new normality.

 

Edited by member 05 May 2023 at 20:57  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 24 Apr 2023 at 07:13
Hi Mal B,

like you, I found my local Maggies Mens Cancer Support Group has made a huge difference to the way I feel. We meet weekly and it’s so good to be able to chat (and as you say laugh) with each other, and the support from them is so important.

Derek

User
Posted 24 Apr 2023 at 07:44
Be careful mixing dancing with beer in the early days even if you think you are fully continent. 12 months after my op I completely p****d myself and didn't realise while letting my hair down!
User
Posted 12 Jun 2023 at 00:30
Nearly five months since prostectomy op and generally feeling ok. To be honest i feel totally broken as a bloke. Libido is almost non existant, cialis tablets made my little fella tingle like a bucks fizz and pump is generally being used for the grandkids party balloons. Proper flatlining at the moment.

I feel guilty as i was generally of the frame of mind " oh s*** its cancer, then yeay its gone!. Selfishly more concerned about the incontinence and lack of libido and i just feel bad thinking like that but we both have always been a very passionate, loving couple physically since we were teenagers and it genuinly breaks my heart to think this may be it from now on.

Dont get me wrong, i am so grateful to having come through the op successfully and appreciative of all the help i have received from my main hospital. Maybe im trying to run before i walk, i don't know.

The squeezy app has helped me considerably and i would advise anyone to use the app. Currently i could crack a walnut down there with just the occasional-whoops, caught me out there, especially when i cough, pass wind and sneeze all at the same time so thats expected i suppose.

Feeling quite a bit stronger physically as i lost a bit of muscle strength around the top of my legs, groin are for a couple of months but working on it.

Apologise if this sounds a bit sad but just venting. I know i need to get out of this head space as i am aware there are many folk dealing with more serious issues and i genuinly wish them the best of health.

User
Posted 12 Jun 2023 at 13:25
Like Chris, we have found (4.5 weeks post RARP) that mutual masturbation has helped tremendously - you don't need an erection to achieve a pleasurable orgasm and the lack of semen has actually made it more enjoyable for both parties. I'dd almost go as far as to suggest it's way better than before the op.

When libido gets me down then some private pornography has helped (with her approval of course :P) to get back in the mood. Actually I did buy a Quest 2 VR goggles a while back and let's just say that adds a whole new dimension to it :)

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User
Posted 24 Apr 2023 at 01:39
If you end up being in the Darth Vader group, we will all be thrilled for you!

When you say 'festivals', is one of them Twinwood by any chance?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 24 Apr 2023 at 07:13
Hi Mal B,

like you, I found my local Maggies Mens Cancer Support Group has made a huge difference to the way I feel. We meet weekly and it’s so good to be able to chat (and as you say laugh) with each other, and the support from them is so important.

Derek

User
Posted 24 Apr 2023 at 07:44
Be careful mixing dancing with beer in the early days even if you think you are fully continent. 12 months after my op I completely p****d myself and didn't realise while letting my hair down!
User
Posted 24 Apr 2023 at 22:57

Lyn, we do some music, food and beer, vw festivals etc just to have a break and unwind. Tend to change festies each year for a bit of variety. Decided to avoid the really big gigs as too much hassle.

Regards darth vader mode, moving forward slowly

 

User
Posted 12 Jun 2023 at 00:30
Nearly five months since prostectomy op and generally feeling ok. To be honest i feel totally broken as a bloke. Libido is almost non existant, cialis tablets made my little fella tingle like a bucks fizz and pump is generally being used for the grandkids party balloons. Proper flatlining at the moment.

I feel guilty as i was generally of the frame of mind " oh s*** its cancer, then yeay its gone!. Selfishly more concerned about the incontinence and lack of libido and i just feel bad thinking like that but we both have always been a very passionate, loving couple physically since we were teenagers and it genuinly breaks my heart to think this may be it from now on.

Dont get me wrong, i am so grateful to having come through the op successfully and appreciative of all the help i have received from my main hospital. Maybe im trying to run before i walk, i don't know.

The squeezy app has helped me considerably and i would advise anyone to use the app. Currently i could crack a walnut down there with just the occasional-whoops, caught me out there, especially when i cough, pass wind and sneeze all at the same time so thats expected i suppose.

Feeling quite a bit stronger physically as i lost a bit of muscle strength around the top of my legs, groin are for a couple of months but working on it.

Apologise if this sounds a bit sad but just venting. I know i need to get out of this head space as i am aware there are many folk dealing with more serious issues and i genuinly wish them the best of health.

User
Posted 12 Jun 2023 at 07:47

MalB, have you had HT, either now or before surgery, HT can greatly affect libido. Surgery didn't affect my libido,  neither  did salvage RT. My orgasms after surgery are far better than before. We came across a description of flaccid insertion or flaccid intercourse, once we had mastered the technique, orgasms for both of us were out of this world. Self or mutual masturbation can help recovery. 

Never give up and have fun finding a solution.

Thanks Chris 

 

Edited by member 12 Jun 2023 at 09:25  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 12 Jun 2023 at 13:25
Like Chris, we have found (4.5 weeks post RARP) that mutual masturbation has helped tremendously - you don't need an erection to achieve a pleasurable orgasm and the lack of semen has actually made it more enjoyable for both parties. I'dd almost go as far as to suggest it's way better than before the op.

When libido gets me down then some private pornography has helped (with her approval of course :P) to get back in the mood. Actually I did buy a Quest 2 VR goggles a while back and let's just say that adds a whole new dimension to it :)

User
Posted 24 Jun 2023 at 20:56

Hi Chris, no i havn't had HT, just went for the prostectomy operation and grateful it worked. I must admit to looking into flacid masturbation and have been very surprised how powerful it can be. Managed a few dry organisms and was blown away to be honest (pardon the pun).

Still using the Soma 2 pump and have tried a couple of the supplied rings which, as i have found, tear very easily so going to have to practise more with this i think. Still using for health reasons though, keeping things healthy.

We are being very patient and having some fun along the way but i do miss the ol flag pole! The consultant had informed me there was hardly any damage to nerves at all after the op and that after 12 to 24 months i should be able to raise more than just my eyebrows! Here's hoping......

I do get tingling downstairs on occasion and the incontinence is very much more under control, hardly at all to be honest so thats an improvement at least.

User
Posted 24 Jun 2023 at 21:12

Steve, i get what you are saying regards DRY orgasms as it is nicer to be honest and we are both helping each other along. Early days.

As mentioned, i'm using a pump and ive tried the Cialis tablets but apart from a buzzy feeling, that was it. Im seeing my doctor next week for a chat so we'll see where we can go from there.

Feeling more upbeat currently, as you just feel like your on a rollercoaster ride emotionally, so just need to keep hitting the positives. Just been out for a five mile walk with some friends, bit tired but very enjoyable.

 
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