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User
Posted 23 May 2023 at 18:40

Hi


My husband (62) was diagnosed in February 2022 and has sadly decided to keep the details of his cancer to himself. I have not been to any appointments with him as he wanted to go alone and apart from knowing roughly the treatment he's undergone I've been kept completely in the dark.


However, a couple of weeks back I came across a letter which detailed his diagnosis - T3b N1 M1a (para-aortic nodal mets) Gleason 9 PSA 29. Could anyone give me an indication of what this means? I have done some research but everything that I've read is in complete contrast to what little my husband has said.


His treatment so far has been hormone therapy (Feb 22 to present); chemotherapy (July 22 - 6 sessions) and radiotherapy (Feb 23 - 20 sessions). 


Any insight or thoughts would be most appreciative as I feel very lost at the moment. I realise it is his right to deal with his cancer in his own way but I would like to know what we are facing so I can support our children and family.


Clare


 

User
Posted 23 May 2023 at 19:55

Hi Clare. Welcome to the forum. It is unfortunate that your husband is bottling this up and won't share it with you. It affects you as well as him but you will see by reading through the forum that this situation is not uncommon. I'm sure sure how best to advise you.
My diagnosis was not as advanced as your husband's, so I can not speak from personal experience. I'm sure others will come along to answer your questions more comprehensively than me.  The diagnosis means the cancer has broken through the prostate and spread to local lymph nodes and elsewhere. His disease is treatable but probably not curable. He will remain on HT for life although the type of HT is likely to change as the current one starts to become less effective. He may also be offered further chemotherapy depending on how well it works and how well he tolerates it. Treatments are improving all the time with the aim is to keep the cancer under control as long as possible. I'll leave it to others to quote you the stats but there are plenty of men on this forum with advanced disease who are doing okay.

User
Posted 23 May 2023 at 22:00
Hi Clare ,my OH stats are almost identical PSA was 23 but everything else the same .
He was given 6 chemo sessions,life time hormones and was put on a trial involving enzolutamine and Abiraterone,he didn’t have radiotherapy.. his age was 55 . PSA has constantly been undetectable.
7.5 yrs later he’s still working , he’s slowed down a lot but he does need 2 knee replacements .
Gary doesn’t read anything about Pc as he doesn’t want to know prognosis ,but I do drip feed little snippets that I’ve learnt along the way ! Hopefully your husband will open up ,but if not there are plenty of wives / partners on here to listen or offer advice .
If you press on people’s avatars it will give you more details of their journey .
Best wishes
Debby
User
Posted 23 May 2023 at 22:33

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member


The diagnosis means the cancer has broken through the prostate and spread to local lymph nodes and elsewhere. His disease is treatable but probably not curable. 



Treatment actually is given with curative intent to paraaortic lymph node mets with a pretty decent success rate, and by the sound of it in this case they're throwing the kitchen sink at it with HT, chemo and RT. I think there's reasonable grounds for optimism, given that the staging is T3 and not T4.


Cheers,


Chris


 

User
Posted 24 May 2023 at 13:10

Thank you do much for your replies, you've definitely have given me some clarity. It' so difficult being so in the dark about this whole journey but I am really glad I found this forum, it's given me some release for the first time in over a year. 


Thank you


Clare

User
Posted 24 May 2023 at 18:02

Just a thought Clare but if your husband doesn’t want to open up to you about it would he be open to you speaking directly to his consultant? Also you can phone the Macmillan nurses if you need support .
Debby

Edited by member 24 May 2023 at 18:34  | Reason: Not specified

 
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