Emotions are awfully

User

Posted 19 Jul 2023 at 20:37

Im the wife of Davy and I just want to know if it’s wrong for me to get so angry and so horrid about this journey we’re on. He has stage 4 Prostate cancer and is now in his pelvic area. He had an in dwelling catheter fitted couple of weeks ago due to urine retention. I’m finding this so hard. So emotional. I get angry with the cancer not Davy. I hate feeling so bitter. But he’s not able to do as much as he did as he’s scared things might go wrong when out wearing his catheter. I just want him back and our life before as it was. He gets very emotional too. It’s so unfair. I say stupid things in the heat of the moment and I hate myself but we always have a huge hug and cry. Are we normal. Do you get angry with each other but it’s really the cancer your hitting out at? You’re all marvellous and I’m so glad this forum here for us to read. Davy is agreeing with everything I’ve said. Thank you all x C

User

Posted 19 Jul 2023 at 21:52

You are ABSOLUTELY not alone - I think we all go through this and I don't think that as normal people, we are equipped to deal with this at the outset.
It's a little like say a police officer or paramedic - the first gruesome scene that they come across seriously affects them - so they have councillors and experts to help them process it and eventually they become accustomed to it (as much as you can) and can see the wood for the trees.

We have the same issues when we come across PCa and how it affects us is so much more than the physical. The emotional toil is hard and if you can find others to talk to it really will help - the oncologists and doctors are there for the technical support but cannot help emotionally but see if you have any local cancer support groups locally. Websites like this really help but it's the personal touch and meeting face to face that will help you make sense of it.

Thinking of you both and hope you can work through it to see that there are still plenty of positives :)

xx

User

Posted 19 Jul 2023 at 22:01

Hi C,

so many of us on here know exactly how you are both feeling. It is so hard at times and I sympathise with you enormously. You’ve commented on the other Angry!!!! post now which reflects exactly how our emotions can get the better of us. You’re right in saying this forum is such a help to us all, both with information and support.

if you have a Maggies near you, please both of you go along and speak to someone. You don’t even need to make an appointment, just turn up and have a coffee with one of the support Specialists who will listen to you and provide you with the emotional support you so badly need. I really can’t tell you the difference it has made to me, and I now find myself being able to provide support to other members of the group who are struggling.

Be good to yourselves, do things you both enjoy, keep as active as possible, and difficult as it is try and stay positive.

All the best,

Derek

User

Posted 19 Jul 2023 at 22:40

C, I had a urethral (penis)catheter on around 12 separate occasions, I have had permanent suprapubic catheter ( just below the bellybutton), for the last six and a half years.

I would obviously rather not have it but I now cope quite well with it. The only thing I don't do now do is swimming and I usually only did that on holiday.

It does have is advantages. Once I had discovered the benefits of instilagel or hydrocaine comfort became alot better.They are are anesthetic, antiseptic and lubricating gel designed for catheter insertion and maintenance, why use anything else.

Hope you get sorted.

Thanks Chris

Notification

Join the online community now.