How has PCa changed you?

Hi Decho,

Interesting thought but after 10 minutes thinking it seemed most of mine are more neurotic than logical.   They're more related to getting older.

There are things like is this food or activity possibly detrimental.   Is dairy bad for PCa?   I cut back to 2 pints max or half a bottle of wine twice a week because too much may undermine my immune sytem or irritate rogue cells.

At the gym is the saddle on the bike going to loosen rogue cells.   I'll stick to the treadmill for intensive activity.

I worry more about my wife and I think she worries about me which does make you more considerate and shielding than normal.

I never ask why me though.   I just think what do I need to do to keep it down.

It's a new interest, is there anything new about PCa.   Is there anything on the PCUK forum I need to know.

New thoughts.  How long will I survive, will it come back.  Do I need to be aware of scan timescales.  At the moment I can imagine lasting another 10yrs which seems pretty good and imagine I might last 15.

The combination of getting older and the recurrance going slower gives more optimism, for me.

I think it's going into ramble mode so it's bedtime.

In recent years I've discovered that I'm ADD. I use that term rather than ADHD because in adults the Hyperactivity bit isn't usually quite as apparent as it is in young children. For me, it's a family trait that effected my father and now gives my son trouble.

The reason I raise it here, is that based on my own experience and from watching my son growing up, testosterone at puberty really brings out AD[H]D. I'm fairly sure that being on HT temporarily smoothed ADD symptoms for its duration. Post HT the second puberty has been a mixed blessing and I'd sort of forgotten what ADD was like and how to deal with it, so while leaving HT behind has been a great relief in most ways I think it's worth telling others here, that if they are ADD people, they might have to deal with a resurgence of this blight when they regain their normal testosterone levels.

Jules

Sorry that it has affected you so badly John - that sucks.
How much do you talk to your wife and children about your situation and feelings?
If you are bottling it all up then that's doing you or them no good at all.
Worried about how they will cope when you have gone - ask them, talk about it. Yes, there will probably be tears, but discuss it.
Death is part of life, we all die one way or another sooner or later. Some through disease, most through coronary disease, and some through accidents. Face up to it as a fact and then talk about life after you (or they) have gone.

Sitting there worrying about it yourself is not helpful.

And yes, I think 'motivation' is the #1 problem in maybe 90% of cases.
A trivial example is that when I was younger (at school), I would go hunting and fishing with my Dad. At the weekend I'd be lying in my bed until maybe lunchtime EXCEPT on the days we were going fishing or rabbiting when I would be up and dressed by 5am raring to go. It could be the worst weather, rain, snow etc but his comment the night before - "If you aren't ready then I'm going without you". Motivation achieves miracles :)

Edited by member 20 Oct 2023 at 09:11  | Reason: Not specified

Ditto what Steve says ForestJohn. However I know from personal experience in Maggies that men find it MUCH easier to talk to a group who are in the same position as you, rather than people close to them(and that includes me!). It needn’t by PCa, any cancer, we have a guy joined recently who was not in a good place but is slowly opening up and it IS helping him. I also get inspired by some of the group who have a far worse prognosis than me but are so positive and living their lives to the full.

Its good that your determined to keep teaching, although that in itself must make you tired.

Re finding something that excites you, I find eBiking does it for me. You’re getting lots of exercise, you can work as little or as hard as you like and it’s quite exhilarating. The thing is even if I don’t have much energy, I can just stick in turbo mode and still have a lot of fun.

Have you ever thought more carefully about getting a little help in the form of something like sertraline….it’s done wonders for my mood. Yes, I would rather deal with this myself, but the way I see it is the anxiety was brought on by HT, so it’s just another side effect which can be mitigated by taking his ‘Happy Pill’. Without it I would be miserable and anxious and I already have enough to deal with with this disease

All the best and try and stay strong and positive, even though it might be hard at times.

Derek