angry dont know how to handle it

I think the fact you can see you are angry is a step in the right direction. An angry dog doesn't know he's angry, he just wants to bite someone, so taking that step back means you can address the anger, rather than bite someone. 

Yes being a control freak is not going to help you, because you have as good as no control over what is happening now, you will get a little bit more control once you actually know the diagnosis. I think the fact I look at cancer as no different than being dealt a bad hand of cards, helps me understand this isn't something I can control (but hopefully the doctors can). Remember your OH is the person with the disease so make sure you don't start trying to control him.

GPs are fairly reluctant to prescribe anxiety medication, but that is where you will have to start. Consider seeing a different GP to the one involved with the prostate diagnosis, there might be too much baggage there.

Decide whether you need anxiety medication, the doctor may try and change your mind (possibly correctly) so you need to be certain of your decision. I would suggest you spend three days doing this, make a medication decision either YES or NO on day one and then on day two, see whether you still agree with the first decision, and then on day three see if you agree with day two's decision. Only if on all three days you said NO can you be (reasonably) confident you don't need medication. If you said YES, or flipped between the two choices even once, you almost certainly need help, make sure the GP knows you have given this a lot of thought.

Once your OH has a treatment plan in place you will find things get a lot better.

I’m no psychologist but I’m wondering whether trying to channel your anger into positive actions might help?

I was in the gym the other day lifting weights trying to overcome the joint ache caused by HT.  Opposite me was a guy on a treadmill…..well actually it was more like the treadmill was on him! He was a lot younger than me and had obviously ‘let himself go’. He was staggering and swaying and at one point put his left hand on his heart! OMG! I thought he was going to have a heart attack! It was then I had one of my ‘Why Me?’ Anger moments. I keep myself fit…cycling swimming, walking, skiing, gym…and yet I get this f…ng disease!
But instead of dwelling on it I thought what can I do if he collapses, so I looked around for the emergency bell as the gym is often unattended, reminded myself of CPR techniques and decided if he got much worse I’d go and ask him if he was ok. I kept a close eye on him until I left and thankfully he was ok. So, instead of being angry I felt much better because I’d turned my anger into positivea actions.

if you read through ‘My Journey through HT and RT’ I’ve always tried to be proactive in overcoming the many hurdles that you encounter on this so called ‘journey’

so I’m wondering if channeling your anger into helping support your partner might help? Some examples…

Find a support group and both go along or If your partner is not keen go along yourself.
It sounds like you’re already taking an active part in supporting your partner. Do your own research but avoid google at all costs. There is a wealth of information on this site, and as someone else said the Specialists you can phone on here are wonderful.
Do as many things together  as you can that you both like. Even simple things like going out for coffee and a chat.
Be good to yourselves giving yourselves treats.
Organise a break, even a short break away together will help take your mind off your anger and remind you of what normality looks like.
Encourage him to be active and join in with him when you both want. Sometimes it’s just NICE to be on your own with your thoughts…..I find the gym good for that.  Activity is great for the endorphins, Even just go for a brisk walk

I know it’s difficult but I’ve found the more I try, the better I feel.

All the best,

Derek

So sorry to hear about you and your partner’s situation at such a young age.  It is a great shock and such a worrying time for all.  My husband was 66 when he was diagnosed 4 year’s ago.  He visited his GP for confirmation of a hernia and whilst there mentioned his father had had prostate cancer and could he be tested.  His father passed away at the age of 89 but not due to PCa.  The only problem my husband had, and only on one occasion, was pain during ejaculation (which in hindsight might have been a sign).  His PSA was 10 and his biopsy revealed a Gleason result of  3 + 4.  His scans showed a lesion on his right hip.  He wasn’t given a choice of having a prostatectomy due to this supposed spread. His Consultant advised HT, Chemotherapy and then Radiotherapy.  It turned out, after chemotherapy, that as the lesion didn’t change in any way that it was thought to be an old injury (but we will never be certain of this).  After 4 years his PSA is <0.01 and we just keep everything crossed that things stay this way for a very long time.  Everybody’s journey is different and until all the tests have been carried out you will not know which treatment will be recommended/advised.

My very best wishes to you both and to all on this unknown journey.  I’ll keep everything crossed for a good outcome for all.

Angex