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Prostate removal 'oh no 🙂'

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User
Posted 27 Nov 2023 at 22:04

Hi I've been diagnosed with prostate cancer and after having 2 x biopsies and having a PSA level going from 5 to 8 over the past 3 years with no symptoms I have been advised to get my prostate removed which I am awaiting the operation date. Has anyone regretted having this procedure or is there any better other options? Tia

User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 19:45
My husband (age 50 at diagnosis) regrets ever having had the op - he sometimes says he would rather have died young than live with the impact it has had on our sex life. On the other hand, my father-in-law refused the op because he was so worried about getting ED and he was dead in 4 years - there isn't a lot of sex in the grave :-(
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 16:49

Well according to this studio 13% of men regret RARP, 11% RT and 7% AS. 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/new-study-investigates-treatment-associated-regrets-in-prostate-cancer-202201062665#:~:text=What%20the%20results%20showed,off%20with%20a%20different%20approach.

More important is what treatments are suitable for you? Active Surveillance (AS) may have a low regret rate, but if it is not suitable for you that is irrelevant.

Dave

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User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 02:22

Hi Rgrd,

There may be medical reason(s) why Prostatectomy was the only option offered to you. Most often Radiotherapy is offered as an alternative and for some men occasionally one of the forms of Focal Treatment. If you would be happy to consider an alternative treatment to Prostatectomy, you could ask the hospital whether you are suitable which might involve an appointment with an Oncologist. There are pros and cons for all forms of treatment and given the choice of treatment, which also takes into account potential side effects, some members will take a view depending on their own experiences which could vary considerably. The success of a treatment from a medical aspect depends on a number of factors of which how early a stage the cancer is found and where being important. My suggestion to you is that you read or download the 'Tool Kit', Publications of this Charity which provides information about the disease and the ways it can be treated. (Not all men will be suitable for all the options given). https://shop.prostatecanceruk.org//our-publications/all-publications/tool-kit?limit=100

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by member 28 Nov 2023 at 02:32  | Reason: To give link

Barry
User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 05:36

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

 Has anyone regretted having this procedure

Hi,

I've never regretted having a prostatectomy, the potential outcomes of not having one were far worse.

Now and again I get frustrated by some of the side effects but it is what it is.

Best of luck.

Adrian.

Edited by member 28 Nov 2023 at 05:37  | Reason: Error

User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 08:32

Rgrd500

Like yourself I had a low PSA with my only symptom being erectile dysfunction. The biopsy confirmed prostate cancer with the consultant giving me no options other than a prostatectomy.

Do I regret it? No. I have some satisfaction that I have reduced the risks of it recurring in the future. The side-effects are not great (erectile dysfunction as a result of the surgery) but as I had nerve-sparing surgery this should improve as time passes. It’s not an easy time but I would be guided by your consultant.

 

 

User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 09:24
Absolutely 100% never have I ever regretted getting that diseased lump out of me :)

I have choices but chose to have it removed as soon as was possible.

The mental benefits of knowing that it is out of me are immeasurable to me.

I can live with the side effects - 6 months down the road I wear the smallest of pads and bed time can now be a lot of fun with the VED, toys and oral with a floppy willy needs to be one of the most enjoyable pastimes for both parties.

Life is good!

User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 09:59

Over a year since my RP. Zero regrets despite the ED. PSA levels currently undetectable.

User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 16:49

Well according to this studio 13% of men regret RARP, 11% RT and 7% AS. 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/new-study-investigates-treatment-associated-regrets-in-prostate-cancer-202201062665#:~:text=What%20the%20results%20showed,off%20with%20a%20different%20approach.

More important is what treatments are suitable for you? Active Surveillance (AS) may have a low regret rate, but if it is not suitable for you that is irrelevant.

Dave

User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 19:45
My husband (age 50 at diagnosis) regrets ever having had the op - he sometimes says he would rather have died young than live with the impact it has had on our sex life. On the other hand, my father-in-law refused the op because he was so worried about getting ED and he was dead in 4 years - there isn't a lot of sex in the grave :-(
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 28 Nov 2023 at 20:47

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
there isn't a lot of sex in the grave

Never a truer word said.

Lyn, I reckon if the shop Athena still existed, then I most definitely wouldn't be the only one that if I flicked through those poster boards, past the chimpanzee in pyjamas and the female tennis player scratching her a*se, To come across poster C14, The LynEyre. A woman cooling down a hot drink, then i'd quickly crouch down and try to find it. I'd obviously then find C11,C12,C13,C15...... B*stard!

I'd then discover C14 placed somewhere else by someone on here, I think I might know who, having placed it between G6 and G10. Funny bugger!!

If it turns out it was sold out? Id be on the hunt for that Andy62 poster.

Good grief. This is what this place has done to me.

 

Jamie.

 

User
Posted 29 Nov 2023 at 09:55

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
... he sometimes says he would rather have died young than live with the impact it has had on our sex life. 

I can imagine that many men get into this mindspace, especially if they try and get their pre-op sex life back and where there will be a lot of failure and anguish.
I have been extremely lucky with my wife as we sat down and discussed that sex would never be what it was, but how can we make it work for us in new ways.
That involved a lot of experiments, some failures and some awesome successes - but we talked about it, not from a point of 'me, me me' but 'you, you, you' and that was the turning point. Working out how to give pleasure and satisfaction to the other, on both sides, enabled us to develop something that I am tempted to suggest was even better than before.

The key of course is open and frank conversations, and in that we are very lucky - I know others are not in such a good position but if they can get there it makes such a huge difference.

 
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