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The beginning of the end

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User
Posted 05 Jan 2024 at 21:06

It’s been a 5 year journey from diagnosis to the beginning of the end. We now have 3 months approximately to make our final memories. Dad’s prostate cancer is in his bones - spine, pelvis, ribs & skull then most recently his liver. Sad times.

Dad is tired, a bit confused and starting to lose weight, so I’m just wanting some advice on how I can best support him and what’s to come. 

All advice welcomed, thank you 🙏 

User
Posted 05 Jan 2024 at 22:34

Sorry to hear this. It is not a situation I have been in but we have had many similar posts in the past. Hopefully some more experienced members will come with suggestions. One thing which is nearly always mentioned is get the local hospice involved. Hospice care is available at home and they have the relevant experience, particularly relating to pain management.

Dave

User
Posted 05 Jan 2024 at 23:46

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
Dad is tired, a bit confused and starting to lose weight, so I’m just wanting some advice on how I can best support him and what’s to 

Hi, 

My dad, aged 88 years, died nearly eight years ago. He had prostate cancer, that had spread all over the place. He was very tired and thin.

He'd soldiered on for over 10 years, after diagnosis, but in the last month or so of his life became more difficult for him, and mum found it hard to cope.

I went over to help them and actually stayed with them for what turned out to be the last days of his life.

Unfortunately, as his condition deteriorated, I found very little help from his GP or the NHS in general, but I contacted Macmillan nurses, they were brilliant and began organising hospice care. He never needed that care as he suddenly passed away peacefully at home.

I'm so glad that me, my mum and younger brother, were there with him.

Adrian.

 

 

Edited by member 05 Jan 2024 at 23:56  | Reason: Typo

User
Posted 05 Jan 2024 at 23:51

It sounds like your Dad passed with plenty of love around him. Thank you for your post and sorry for your loss. 

User
Posted 06 Jan 2024 at 18:01

Yes, hospice at home is quite common, and there doesn't need to be any intention of going in to the hospice to pass away, that can be planned to happen at home.

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User
Posted 05 Jan 2024 at 22:34

Sorry to hear this. It is not a situation I have been in but we have had many similar posts in the past. Hopefully some more experienced members will come with suggestions. One thing which is nearly always mentioned is get the local hospice involved. Hospice care is available at home and they have the relevant experience, particularly relating to pain management.

Dave

User
Posted 05 Jan 2024 at 23:46

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
Dad is tired, a bit confused and starting to lose weight, so I’m just wanting some advice on how I can best support him and what’s to 

Hi, 

My dad, aged 88 years, died nearly eight years ago. He had prostate cancer, that had spread all over the place. He was very tired and thin.

He'd soldiered on for over 10 years, after diagnosis, but in the last month or so of his life became more difficult for him, and mum found it hard to cope.

I went over to help them and actually stayed with them for what turned out to be the last days of his life.

Unfortunately, as his condition deteriorated, I found very little help from his GP or the NHS in general, but I contacted Macmillan nurses, they were brilliant and began organising hospice care. He never needed that care as he suddenly passed away peacefully at home.

I'm so glad that me, my mum and younger brother, were there with him.

Adrian.

 

 

Edited by member 05 Jan 2024 at 23:56  | Reason: Typo

User
Posted 05 Jan 2024 at 23:51

It sounds like your Dad passed with plenty of love around him. Thank you for your post and sorry for your loss. 

User
Posted 06 Jan 2024 at 00:12
That' a very moving tale, Adrian. Thank you.

Your family served your dad well ... as I'm sure he did you. Oh, and 88 is a great innings in my book!!

User
Posted 06 Jan 2024 at 10:42

I would suggest you get hospice care arranged. That can be done at home if that's what he wants, but hospice staff can be better at handling this stage than his GP or the hospital doctors.

User
Posted 06 Jan 2024 at 12:52

Thanks Andy, this can be offered at home? I want him to stay at home but get as much care as possible. Thanks so much 

User
Posted 06 Jan 2024 at 13:10

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Thanks Andy, this can be offered at home? I want him to stay at home but get as much care as possible. Thanks so much 

Hi again Emma,

Thanks for your earlier condolences. 

If remember correctly my dad could have carers coming to his house to help out but for care in a nursing home/hospice someone had to make a judgement take he was only likely to live for another 3 months.

We were at home waiting for him to be collected to be moved to specialist care, because he wasn't eating or drinking. Whilst waiting for the transport he passed away. It was so weird none of us or him wanted him to leave home, however circumstances took over, but he (as usual) decided what was going to happen. 

User
Posted 06 Jan 2024 at 13:29

Sounds like he was only going to go his way…. At home! What a brave man 💙 

User
Posted 06 Jan 2024 at 18:01

Yes, hospice at home is quite common, and there doesn't need to be any intention of going in to the hospice to pass away, that can be planned to happen at home.

 
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