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Refusing all/any treatment

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User
Posted 19 Feb 2024 at 11:54



Edited by member 04 Apr 2024 at 01:43  | Reason: Embarrassed

User
Posted 19 Feb 2024 at 11:54



Edited by member 04 Apr 2024 at 01:43  | Reason: Embarrassed

User
Posted 19 Feb 2024 at 12:35

Hi sorry to hear your both going through this.its very hard caring for a vulnerable adult especially if you have health issues too. 

 

have you asked social services and/or your GP for a care needs assessment as this can help in terms of home support and adjustments and equipment in the home to make life easier. Attendance allowance is something you might consider applying for as that could fund a cleaner or further carer to take the pressure off of you. 

 

User
Posted 19 Feb 2024 at 15:55
Not a wife but just a few thoughts. You will not be able to force your husband to have treatment for his PCa even if you have power of attorney for his Health and Welfare. (There is a separate one for Property and Finance), which is advisable if not yet done because apart from other things it, would enable you to freely speak with his GP who should have more detailed knowledge of his Alzheimer's and his Prostate Cancer. POA's have to be done while the person making them still has mental capacity to do so. By the time they are in their eighties probably more men who have not already treated for it have PCa than don't have it, many not even knowing they had it and most dyeing with it rather than of it. It can be that some men at this sort of age don't want the additional burden of PCa treatment to impact their remaining years, even if treatment might extend them slightly and their wishes have to be respected. This can be more the case if one has a progressive disease such a Alzheimers.

I also think it a good idea to have a word with your GP to examine and prescribe medication and to mitigate the pressure on you through support. I cared for my wife with Dementia for probably longer than I should, as even the first Care Home she moved to found it beyond their ability to cope and my daughter and I had to find another. This meant various health problems I had were put on the back burner and are only now being dealt with very much later.

Barry
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User
Posted 19 Feb 2024 at 12:35

Hi sorry to hear your both going through this.its very hard caring for a vulnerable adult especially if you have health issues too. 

 

have you asked social services and/or your GP for a care needs assessment as this can help in terms of home support and adjustments and equipment in the home to make life easier. Attendance allowance is something you might consider applying for as that could fund a cleaner or further carer to take the pressure off of you. 

 

User
Posted 19 Feb 2024 at 15:55
Not a wife but just a few thoughts. You will not be able to force your husband to have treatment for his PCa even if you have power of attorney for his Health and Welfare. (There is a separate one for Property and Finance), which is advisable if not yet done because apart from other things it, would enable you to freely speak with his GP who should have more detailed knowledge of his Alzheimer's and his Prostate Cancer. POA's have to be done while the person making them still has mental capacity to do so. By the time they are in their eighties probably more men who have not already treated for it have PCa than don't have it, many not even knowing they had it and most dyeing with it rather than of it. It can be that some men at this sort of age don't want the additional burden of PCa treatment to impact their remaining years, even if treatment might extend them slightly and their wishes have to be respected. This can be more the case if one has a progressive disease such a Alzheimers.

I also think it a good idea to have a word with your GP to examine and prescribe medication and to mitigate the pressure on you through support. I cared for my wife with Dementia for probably longer than I should, as even the first Care Home she moved to found it beyond their ability to cope and my daughter and I had to find another. This meant various health problems I had were put on the back burner and are only now being dealt with very much later.

Barry
User
Posted 20 Feb 2024 at 10:00

Hi . Thankyou for replying. My husband is in total denial of his illnesses . And therefore wouldn’t accept help other than myself or my daughter ..we think his denial is connected to his Alzheimer’s. 

User
Posted 20 Feb 2024 at 13:33

Perhaps you could find another excuse to accompany him to an appointment with his GP - He has already agreed to PSA tests so GP could elaborate even though you know that the PSA test doesn't define cancer. He may be lucky and his cancer may never advance to the stage where it will bother him, we have NOT been given details of his diagnosis. But Alzheimer's will progress over the years, so he will need additional help over his remaining years and there comes a time when he will have to accept further help or it will seriously affect your health and that of your daughter and impinge on your social lives 

Correction NOT was omitted

Edited by member 20 Feb 2024 at 23:09  | Reason: Not specified

Barry
User
Posted 20 Feb 2024 at 15:49

Hi Barry , thankyou for the advise , and yes your right , there will come a day ,,, where i /we will need help , and hopefully i  will be strong enough to insist on getting help , for now i’m coping ,,,,,well . The prostrate cancer is already giving him problems, We are intouch with  the Alzimers Nurse who we speak to each month , i appreciate everything you say .

User
Posted 20 Feb 2024 at 19:23

What is his prostate cancer diagnosis?

What problems is the prostate cancer giving?

There is a treatment regime called Watchful Waiting, where no treatment is given for the cancer, but any significant side effects can be treated.

There is also a strategy of not doing any treatment until a significant side effect develops.

You need to consider what benefit he might get from treatment, verses how much it might confuse him with procedures and extra side effects which he isn't going to understand, and also how treatment (such as hormone therapy) might speed up the Altzheimers, and extend life after he's lost all quality of life.

User
Posted 21 Feb 2024 at 08:02

Hi Andy 62 . Thanks for replying . he was examined by GP . Then saw a specialist had another examination , then had scans and was told he had prostrate cancer . To which my husband replied NO I HAVENT there’s nothing wrong with me I feel fine . Complete denial . That’s my husband head in the sand I’m afraid when it comes to medical. Always has been and of course the Alzimers has made things worse .we gave our daughter LPA some years ago when she noticed little things different in him , The problems are he takes ages in the  bathroom . He gets very constipated and then has bouts of diarrhoea . He sits uncomfortably. He’s lost a lot of weight . Lethargic . Loss of appetite. Craves sweet things . He’s on watchful waiting and has PSA TEST every 3 months and that’s as much as he will agree to .. I’m hoping that will change . The consultant agreed with the comment you made about how the hormone treatment could make his alzimers worse . His last PSA TEST 165 . he’s always been the same in regards to his health . He Will just about take a paracetamol… in fact when we did get him to the drs apart from his vaccinations flu/covid/shingles he’s not been seen by his GP  practice . Except when he’s accompanied me to my appointments . And as far as I understand having LPA dose not mean I can dismiss his refusal of treatment . 



 
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