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Proof that you can't blame everything on your cancer

User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 14:07

As life goes by, it changes. It's very plain to see. Not always for the better. Just take a look at me.


Athletic days are over. My waist line clearly shows. The only thing that's running now. My constant snotty nose.


The only thing that's thinner? Is the hair upon my head. No more need for clippers. Just polish it instead.


My sex drive has diminished. It's getting worse I fear. I often need a jump-start. Get stuck in second gear.


My memory's quickly fading. My libidos very poor. If I find a 'morning glory'. I've forgotten what it's for.


Pillow talk's now different. Not sexually fantasy. More about the garden. Or what we'll have for tea.


Love whispers in the bedroom. Once sounds of sexual glee. Now moans and groans restricted. To going for pee. 


Our bed is so much colder. My circulation's poor. Only time the earth moves. Is when I start to snore.


Lust once electrifying. Sent sparks across the sheets. Now, it's just the static. From hard skin on me feet.


Sex sent us close to boiling. That's what it used to do. Now, only hot and steamy. When you fetch up a brew.


Between the sheets at weekends. Exploring was such fun. Now, all I ever search for. Is the sports page of the Sun.


Once dribbled Champers on you. And licked off melted chocs. Now, the only foreplay.  Is taking off me socks.


Some days we'd do it four times. And each of them would last. Now, it's just biannual. And over very fast.


Sex heightened all our senses. A tingling it would bring. Now deaf and partially sighted. We hardly feel a thing.


Then sex included oral. And games of kiss and dares. Now my only blow job. Is struggling up the stairs.


Once gentle oily massage. Enhanced our golden tan. Now, pallid and arthritic. We rub on Algepan.


You made my heart beat faster. Blood rushed through every vein. Now, it's high cholesterol. That makes it race again.


On top of that my thyroid. Is under active too. That's why I'm underactive. When I'm on top of you.


We used to grind for hours. Performing without fault. Now our hips have seized up. We've grinded to a halt.


So' we've lost a little romance. Some physicality. But always see the funny side. And giggle constantly.


Yes, time has seen some changes. But one thing has stayed true. Past, present, and in future. I'll keep on loving you.


 


I found this today amongst some old Valentines cards I'd made for my wife. It was written 5 years before my diagnosis and made me realise that things were changing before cancer entered our lives. 


 

User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 14:07

As life goes by, it changes. It's very plain to see. Not always for the better. Just take a look at me.


Athletic days are over. My waist line clearly shows. The only thing that's running now. My constant snotty nose.


The only thing that's thinner? Is the hair upon my head. No more need for clippers. Just polish it instead.


My sex drive has diminished. It's getting worse I fear. I often need a jump-start. Get stuck in second gear.


My memory's quickly fading. My libidos very poor. If I find a 'morning glory'. I've forgotten what it's for.


Pillow talk's now different. Not sexually fantasy. More about the garden. Or what we'll have for tea.


Love whispers in the bedroom. Once sounds of sexual glee. Now moans and groans restricted. To going for pee. 


Our bed is so much colder. My circulation's poor. Only time the earth moves. Is when I start to snore.


Lust once electrifying. Sent sparks across the sheets. Now, it's just the static. From hard skin on me feet.


Sex sent us close to boiling. That's what it used to do. Now, only hot and steamy. When you fetch up a brew.


Between the sheets at weekends. Exploring was such fun. Now, all I ever search for. Is the sports page of the Sun.


Once dribbled Champers on you. And licked off melted chocs. Now, the only foreplay.  Is taking off me socks.


Some days we'd do it four times. And each of them would last. Now, it's just biannual. And over very fast.


Sex heightened all our senses. A tingling it would bring. Now deaf and partially sighted. We hardly feel a thing.


Then sex included oral. And games of kiss and dares. Now my only blow job. Is struggling up the stairs.


Once gentle oily massage. Enhanced our golden tan. Now, pallid and arthritic. We rub on Algepan.


You made my heart beat faster. Blood rushed through every vein. Now, it's high cholesterol. That makes it race again.


On top of that my thyroid. Is under active too. That's why I'm underactive. When I'm on top of you.


We used to grind for hours. Performing without fault. Now our hips have seized up. We've grinded to a halt.


So' we've lost a little romance. Some physicality. But always see the funny side. And giggle constantly.


Yes, time has seen some changes. But one thing has stayed true. Past, present, and in future. I'll keep on loving you.


 


I found this today amongst some old Valentines cards I'd made for my wife. It was written 5 years before my diagnosis and made me realise that things were changing before cancer entered our lives. 


 

User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 21:26

Too right, things were changing before cancer. Menopause more or less stopped any sex life I had. You can only try to initiate so many times and face rejection, before you give up.


However, I still love my crazy blue haired wife! Life was just different, adapt and get on with it!


With the coming of cancer, hormone therapy and orchidectomy I don't even miss anything anymore!


The one thing that surprises me is the number of posts on this forum of men desperate for sex. Pumps, pills, flogging a dead horse, alternatives, etc. if you're on HT, have nerve damage, etc why are these chaps worrying?  A relationship is more than just sex. It all seems a waste of energy to me and I normally just avoid these posts.


Just a thought.

User
Posted 13 Apr 2024 at 07:11

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member


Originally Posted by: Online Community Member


Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
and some older ones have much wives


How many wives do you need to be considered to have 'much wives'?



😂 Some would say that one's too much.



A mate of mine went for a biopsy yesterday and they asked him if he had any allergies. 


Yes he said, marriage!

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User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 21:26

Too right, things were changing before cancer. Menopause more or less stopped any sex life I had. You can only try to initiate so many times and face rejection, before you give up.


However, I still love my crazy blue haired wife! Life was just different, adapt and get on with it!


With the coming of cancer, hormone therapy and orchidectomy I don't even miss anything anymore!


The one thing that surprises me is the number of posts on this forum of men desperate for sex. Pumps, pills, flogging a dead horse, alternatives, etc. if you're on HT, have nerve damage, etc why are these chaps worrying?  A relationship is more than just sex. It all seems a waste of energy to me and I normally just avoid these posts.


Just a thought.

User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 22:02

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
The one thing that surprises me is the number of posts on this forum of men desperate for sex. Pumps, pills, flogging a dead horse, alternatives, etc. if you're on HT, have nerve damage, etc why are these chaps worrying?  A relationship is more than just sex. It all seems a waste of energy to me and I normally just avoid these posts.


Just a thought.


Evening John.


I suppose everyone is different. Sex is important to some and not to others. I know there are a few blokes on here who are much younger, which must make things more difficult, and some older ones have much wives. There are so many factors involved. What has amazed me on here, is how many blokes in their seventies and eighties are still as horny as three balled Tom cats.


I think the main problem for me, not having natural erections, was the feeling of emasculation. I also hate anyone or anything dictating what I can or can't do and cancer has done that. 


I smiled when I found my poem. It made me realise that my life was changing well before being diagnosed. Cancer's just speeded up some of those changes.


 

User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 22:12

I guess it affects us all differently. Certainly my main worry is the incontinence issue. I dread that far more than the ED problems. To be fair that issue has been getting progressively worse for the last year or two anyway, even before this lark.


Great poem though mate, although I now know far more than I need to about your past activities 😂


Ian.

User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 22:40

Interesting ‘thought’ John although I don’t agree with you here, just goes to show how everyone is different.


Being on HT and having zero libido is weird! Sex is not the same but it’s still good once I get started…and that’s the problem. We were always morning people(too tired in the evenings😴😴😴), but whereas before when I went down to make my OH a cup of tea I would be thinking about what we might get up to, now all I think about is what I want for breakfast🤣🤣🤣


I feel sad that I don’t have any libido but for me that’s the least troublesome side effect of HT, and I think it must be more frustrating if you DO have a libido but can’t do anything with it!


Now that I’ve had my last Prostap injection I can’t wait until (hopefully) eventually I will feel the urge again. I agree that there is much more to a good marriage than sex, but it was an important part of my marriage and I hope to be able to get at least some of that back🤞

User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 22:51

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member


Great poem though mate, although I now know far more than I need to about your past activities 😂



I omitted the real dirty bits.😁

User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 22:55

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
and some older ones have much wives


How many wives do you need to be considered to have 'much wives'?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
User
Posted 12 Apr 2024 at 22:59

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member


Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
and some older ones have much wives


How many wives do you need to be considered to have 'much wives'?



😂 Some would say that one's too much.

User
Posted 13 Apr 2024 at 07:11

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member


Originally Posted by: Online Community Member


Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
and some older ones have much wives


How many wives do you need to be considered to have 'much wives'?



😂 Some would say that one's too much.



A mate of mine went for a biopsy yesterday and they asked him if he had any allergies. 


Yes he said, marriage!

User
Posted 13 Apr 2024 at 10:20

It has been scientifically proven that there is a food, when eaten by women, that severely reduces their libido.


Wedding cake.


Only kidding ladies. 😘

 
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