Hi Andy,
I am so sorry to hear you are in that difficult and potentially lonely place. Someone will pop up here very shortly and suggest you contact your local Maggies support group. I have no personal experience of them, but those who have, speak very highly of them.
I'm going to supplement that with something a bit off the wall: Talk to yourself. A significant part of 'talking' is about finding your own words to articulate your thoughts, feelings, fears and hopes. It's about working stuff out and it's often the act of making it discussible which is the critical first step. At the end of the day, you have to come to terms with all this by yourself and for yourself.
That's not to say that interaction with other people won't help. It will. But many people who are not inside this particular bubble will really struggle to know what to say to you, and that's not their fault.
This is a great forum, packed with people who really do understand. If you need to vent, or ask questions, or just share; this is a good place. But start with yourself.....