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My dad is refusing a biopsy...

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User
Posted 07 May 2024 at 14:26

Hi All,

Hoping you can help me with some advice. My dad has recently been sent for an MRI scan as a regular PSA test came back at 10. He had them 6 monthly following some minor symptoms (back pain) for the last 2.5 years. He's a 72 year old, otherwise healthy man who is a little set in his ways(!!)

He's refused any company to any of his appointments. Insists on going alone as "nothing is wrong". His MRI showed two "small shadows" in his words. I asked if they gave him a grading and he said "no they just said they were small."

He's refusing the recommendation of a biopsy, I fully appreciate there are some risks and it's intrusive, saying he'd rather monitor the PSA levels with regular blood tests.

My mum, my sister and myself have all gently encouraged him to get a biopsy so we can work out a) if it's cancer and b) if it is how aggressive it is. 

Fear we're not getting the full picture, fear my newly born son is going to grow up without his granddad. Similarly I don't want to put pressure on him as respectful of the journey he is on. Maybe he is okay, maybe 6 monthly blood tests are fine to monitor for now. It's the unknown which really troubles me.

How concerned should I be? How is best to handle the situation?

Yours, 

A concerned Son.

User
Posted 07 May 2024 at 18:28
I don't think that there is an easy answer and 72 is that age when he may decide that quality of life is better than quantity. One thing is fairly certain - he is going to be around for several more years (unless something else happens) as PCa is slow to develop but maybe sit him down one on one and explain your concerns - he sounds as though he is someone who will not be browbeaten into it and maybe father to son conversations in a low key helpful way.
User
Posted 08 May 2024 at 18:06

Hi Concerned Son,

I had to do a double take on this as it’s normally female relatives that post on here…so we’ll done!

As Steve says the biopsy is nothing to worry about….it might seem a little frightening to your dad to have all his bits exposed to the world but assure him that the nurses are absolutely first class in protecting your modesty, and they are very skilled at talking to you through the whole process to keep your mind off the needles! 

Im so pleased that you’ve persuaded him to get a biopsy as if it does need treatment there will be far more options available if it’s caught early.

I wish your dad good luck on his journey and he is very lucky to have a son like you to support him!

Derek

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User
Posted 07 May 2024 at 18:28
I don't think that there is an easy answer and 72 is that age when he may decide that quality of life is better than quantity. One thing is fairly certain - he is going to be around for several more years (unless something else happens) as PCa is slow to develop but maybe sit him down one on one and explain your concerns - he sounds as though he is someone who will not be browbeaten into it and maybe father to son conversations in a low key helpful way.
User
Posted 08 May 2024 at 09:18

Thanks Steve, appreciate your words of advice.

We got a further update last night that they had graded his shadows as PI-RADS level 5. Amazingly on hearing this news he did a complete u-turn and said it was probably best to get a biopsy for peace of mind.

Whilst reading level 5 it concerning; knowing he'll know have a biopsy so we can look at the most appropriate course of action has removed a lot of my fear of the unknown!

User
Posted 08 May 2024 at 16:25
I guess when is bad news good :) Many of us are/were Pi-rads 5 and it remains extremely treatable/curable. The only way to determine the next step will be the biopsy and once you get over the embarrassment then it's nothing to worry about, not really painful and in and out in a couple of hours. I even drove home afterwards.

Once he has those results then he will be given 2 or 3 choices of treatment - we have experience of them all on these forums so just ask away for any background info etc.

It's a journey but it's one step at a time. Good luck to you both.

User
Posted 08 May 2024 at 18:06

Hi Concerned Son,

I had to do a double take on this as it’s normally female relatives that post on here…so we’ll done!

As Steve says the biopsy is nothing to worry about….it might seem a little frightening to your dad to have all his bits exposed to the world but assure him that the nurses are absolutely first class in protecting your modesty, and they are very skilled at talking to you through the whole process to keep your mind off the needles! 

Im so pleased that you’ve persuaded him to get a biopsy as if it does need treatment there will be far more options available if it’s caught early.

I wish your dad good luck on his journey and he is very lucky to have a son like you to support him!

Derek

User
Posted 08 May 2024 at 19:55

Haven't posted for some time but do not worry about the biopsy!  OK you have your legs in the air  and it is undignified but it needs to be done. I had a nurse who asked if I would like to chat; it helped a lot. Recovery OK after you have s pee to see if things still work then OK to go home and await results; a couple of weeks most.on to RT and HT. In my case.

Seems to have worked OK. Psa still <0.1  18 mo later. 

The double whammy is that I have been diagnosed with myeloma and am now on chemo for that. No connection between the two. Damn!!

Good luck all

Peternigel

 

User
Posted 09 May 2024 at 13:39

Thanks Decho, really kind words.

User
Posted 09 May 2024 at 13:40

Thanks Peternigel wishing you all the best with your treatment too.

 
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