Hi, I just wanted to reach out and say I'm in a very similar situation to you and feeling the burden of responsibility. My Dad was diagnosed late Dec 23 with advanced prostate cancer, with extensive bone mets. He's previously a very fit and active 70yr old. He was slightly mismanaged on diagnosis (very long story) so, although his Urologist advised he had a Gleason Score of 10, his Oncologist advised that the biopsy could not be considered accurate as he had already started hormone treatment.
I had done by own research and spoken to the very patient and knowledgeable nurses from this site, so was adamant that I wanted him to have triplet therapy. However, like your Oncologist, ours very much did not think the evidence to support Triplet therapy outweighed the risk of chemo. My Dad was having to self-catheterise frequently throughout the day at this point, so obviously at increased risk of infection and sepsis etc. My Dad really didn't want to have the chemo and I didn't want to push him.
My Dad did respond well initially and his PSA fell significantly, however, after 8 months his PSA began to double and we've now been advised he is castrate resistant and he has just started chemo. The good news being he appears to be relatively pain free, despite disease progression and is managing chemo well.
It's all just a minefield and I'm just so grateful for this site.