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How To Access Regular Carers

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 09:54

Hi everyone

I’ve been a reader of posts on this forum for a while but haven’t posted before. My Dad (mid70s)’s advanced prostate cancer has really turned up a notch in the last two/three weeks. Three weeks ago he was still driving, sharp mind, able to cook, clean etc. In the last few weeks his walking has deteriorated, he’s had hallucinations, confusion, eating less, incontinence, pains.

District nurses came in to check him over - he said he’s doing ‘ok’ (which he says to most questions) and said they’ll come back in four weeks - FOUR WEEKS! I couldn’t believe it.

St Lukes have said he doesn’t yet qualify for ‘Continuing Healthcare Fund’ (as he’s able to walk around) & suggested I do a social care referral - I’ve done that but unsure how long that will take to materalise any support.

My sibling & I are providing round the clock care. My sibling has signed off work sick & I am missing work too. We are willing to care but need some support/respite & are not trained in lifting him out of bed, etc.

Has anyone any experience of how to access carers - we’d really appreciate carers to come in, even a few times a week to help wash Dad (he’s embarrassed about us doing that), or help him with meds, cooking, cleaning on days where my sibling and I are less available. We don’t have any budget to pay for this privately.

Any tips welcome.

Thanks so much. x

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 10:57

The most effective way is if he does end up in hospital, they have a department which is all about getting care in place so someone can be discharged home, because until that happens, they are blocking a bed, so there's a lot of effort goes in to doing this quickly. With my dad, the NHS even organised temporary home care for the few months it took the council to find a company to take over.

If you're not in that situation, it's going to be more difficult. You can look yourself of course, but adult social care at the council can do this for you, and engage one of the companies they use. All councils have recently started charging to do this. They will send an occupational therapist to assess his needs, and they can be really useful, suggesting and providing aids to help him at home, as well as suggesting what care he needs. That might include hospital bed (so you can get him in and out), lifting aids, etc. Be careful about offering to do the care yourself - that will end up leaving you as carers, which is a different relationship that being family (unless you want to do this, of course), and it will remove the urgency for the NHS or council to find and engage someone (which means it won't happen).

Engaging a separate house cleaner (perhaps weekly) might be cheaper than paying carers to that. Personal recommendations from friends can be a good way to find a local trustworthy cleaner. This depends if he would be self-funding his care or covered by the council, which depends on his financial situation.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 11:35

It sounds like you need to try and get him to agree to you having power of attorney. There is a debit card you can get him where you control the spending capacity on it - intended for elderly people so they keep some independence without risking everything. Can't remember the name, but I'm sure someone here will know it. Also, to be clear, you personally do not need to settle his debts, but if you can stop scams racking up any more, that would be good. Yes, make use of the hospital discharge team - I didn't know there was any retrospective access to that.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 12:49

Hi

I recently had to sort out some home care for my mum. I had to get a private company in, but you can access some help to pay for it. If you google "DWP Attendance Allowance" it should take you to the GOV.UK site where you can apply. I'm not sure what stage your dad's cancer is, but if it is terminal, as my mum's is, you can apply in their name as a "special case" and should get fast tracked. It should only take a couple of weeks to sort out. If it helps, I used a company called Helping Hands, and I think they are a national outfit. I used the Nottingham branch.

I hope you manage to get something sorted.

Ian.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 13:18

Sorry if my reply a bit snappy, feeling stressed! - I appreciate your writing and sharing your experience and I’m sad to hear your Mum is going through it too. Big love.

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User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 10:57

The most effective way is if he does end up in hospital, they have a department which is all about getting care in place so someone can be discharged home, because until that happens, they are blocking a bed, so there's a lot of effort goes in to doing this quickly. With my dad, the NHS even organised temporary home care for the few months it took the council to find a company to take over.

If you're not in that situation, it's going to be more difficult. You can look yourself of course, but adult social care at the council can do this for you, and engage one of the companies they use. All councils have recently started charging to do this. They will send an occupational therapist to assess his needs, and they can be really useful, suggesting and providing aids to help him at home, as well as suggesting what care he needs. That might include hospital bed (so you can get him in and out), lifting aids, etc. Be careful about offering to do the care yourself - that will end up leaving you as carers, which is a different relationship that being family (unless you want to do this, of course), and it will remove the urgency for the NHS or council to find and engage someone (which means it won't happen).

Engaging a separate house cleaner (perhaps weekly) might be cheaper than paying carers to that. Personal recommendations from friends can be a good way to find a local trustworthy cleaner. This depends if he would be self-funding his care or covered by the council, which depends on his financial situation.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 11:24

Thanks for your thoughtful reply.

Dad was in hospital last week (a week ago today) for an MRI (in case of spinal cord compression which thankfully he did not have) + other assessments - they found his liver was inflamed and after a day of tests & new meds prescribed, he was discharged.

I just spoke to a local Carer’s organisation who said they can refer him to a hospital discharge team (sounds similar to what you described) - as they can do that within 2-weeks of leaving hospital.

I’m getting quite fed up of all these ‘referrals’ and siloed teams - I keep having to describe the situation and they say they’ll ‘get back to me’.

I have let social care know myself and my sibling are going away soon - to hopefully increase the urgency - I may also disclose to them that I myself have mental health problems (this will be on my NHS record) so am not always able to be a carer.

To top it all off, my Dad has been victim to many scams lately online and my sibling and I are only just uncovering all that. He definitely won’t have budget to pay for any care and I suspect there are debts we will need to deal with.

All of this is an awful lot on top of the worry and heartbreak of the Dad I know suffering & struggling.

Thankyou.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 11:35

It sounds like you need to try and get him to agree to you having power of attorney. There is a debit card you can get him where you control the spending capacity on it - intended for elderly people so they keep some independence without risking everything. Can't remember the name, but I'm sure someone here will know it. Also, to be clear, you personally do not need to settle his debts, but if you can stop scams racking up any more, that would be good. Yes, make use of the hospital discharge team - I didn't know there was any retrospective access to that.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 11:55

Thank you - we have power of attorney for health. Any suggestions from us about being power of attorney for finances were ignored/shut down by Dad (probably because he’s aware of the pickle he’s in).

I think the financial stress is adding to his poorliness.

Anyway, I’m most keen to get some nursing/home help care sorted as a matter of urgency - the money stuff will all probably emerge when he’s getting assessed for this. If anyone has any tips on how this process can be fast-tracked, I’d love to know. Thanks very much.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 12:49

Hi

I recently had to sort out some home care for my mum. I had to get a private company in, but you can access some help to pay for it. If you google "DWP Attendance Allowance" it should take you to the GOV.UK site where you can apply. I'm not sure what stage your dad's cancer is, but if it is terminal, as my mum's is, you can apply in their name as a "special case" and should get fast tracked. It should only take a couple of weeks to sort out. If it helps, I used a company called Helping Hands, and I think they are a national outfit. I used the Nottingham branch.

I hope you manage to get something sorted.

Ian.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 13:17

Hiya

Thanks very much.

Yes Dad’s cancer is terminal. He got fast-tracked attendance allowance but uses it to pay his bills.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2024 at 13:18

Sorry if my reply a bit snappy, feeling stressed! - I appreciate your writing and sharing your experience and I’m sad to hear your Mum is going through it too. Big love.

 
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