Hi Sanje
Welcome to the “supporters’ club”! So sorry you’re in this boat too. This forum has helped me cope with some of the very worst weeks/months of my life, and I’m sure you’ll find the same.
My husband isn’t that much further along this path than yours - he got his biopsy results 11 weeks ago. Mentally we both found that the “wait and see” stage you’re at now was the very worst part so far. My husband is T3b, Gleason 4+5 so he wasn’t offered surgery, but immediately began hormone therapy, with radiotherapy planned for early in the new year. (See my bio for details if you like). The oncologist described the cancer as “high risk and aggressive”, which was scary, but then went on to say the treatment is a “curative path”, which was hugely reassuring. We found the start of the treatment, while daunting, gave us both quite a mental boost as it marked the start of the fight back.
Unlike your husband, mine didn’t join the forum as he felt rather overwhelmed by everything, but I read everything I could find so that the terminology, treatment options, side effects etc didn’t floor me and I was in a good position to be able to support my OH. Eg one day he had the horrible experience of being served in a bakery, trying to ask for strawberry tarts and the only words that would come were “cheese slices”, no matter how hard he tried, and he was so embarrassed when the woman serving asked if he was ok and was clearly very concerned for him. He was really upset and thought the cancer had maybe spread to the brain!!! When he came home and told me I was able to reassure him that it would just be brain fog - another little gift from HT!! He was able to laugh at himself and hasn’t panicked like that again.
For us, my main “jobs” have been to keep myself informed on what may lie ahead, to plan fun stuff for us to do at least once a week, and to try to make things feel as normal and do-able as possible. We also started working with a personal trainer in a local gym - something I never thought either of us would do - as it has helped him to build up his muscles to combat the muscle wastage, joint pain and fatigue that HT cause. Doing it together made all the difference to him and we are amazed to find we rather enjoy it! Mentally it has helped a lot too, as he has felt that he is taking control of that aspect of the side effects.
Feel free to get in touch if there’s anything at all you think I can answer. Everyone copes differently but I certainly found it helped to draw on the experience of others, particularly at the horrible stage you are at right now.
Take care, and wishing you both the very best of luck. Do keep us informed of how you get on.
Xx
Edited by member 21 Nov 2024 at 02:19
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